Why does jealousy rise again? Why does wishing that this wasn’t this way and they weren’t that way have to be like that? How many times does that rise again? We know that resistance somehow is always rising. It is a kind of constant companion to one’s life, this resistance that just says, “no, no, no.”
Let’s be clear, it isn’t the event that we resist. What we’re resisting is that something has come along, and something that we’re deeply identified with is threatened. It’s our identity that’s threatened, and that’s why we resist the condition. In that moment we are the seed of resistance. And the way we know we’re the seed of resistance is because everything that grows out of us keeps that dark seed and that dark flower alive… and it rises again and again because we resist the situation. We come up with a new idea, some way to change another person, and when we get that all in place, now we’re identified with a new sense of self produced by what we’re going to fix. Our pain proves to us that we’re real and they are not, that they shouldn’t do that, and the way we know is how much pain we’re in over what they’ve done.
That which rises over and over in us — what really is reincarnation at a certain level — that resistance gives rise to the next thing we identify with. The next thing we identify with gives rise to resistance. Resistance then gives rise to the next demand. The demand gives rise to the next identity that momentarily feels safe. The next identity is the seed of what feels threatened. So you can see that there is in fact a rising and a falling, a seed and a flowering of something that doesn’t really live at all except to suffer.
You and I are meant to be resurrected, but resurrection takes place only when we reach the point where we realize that we must touch absolutely nothing that’s going on inside of us… nor will we be its instrument. The man or woman who goes through that, who stands in the fire of their desire inwardly and does nothing whatsoever (meaning get angry, afraid, etc.) other than allow the self that can see this to go through the seeding of that, then experiences a death. There is a sacrifice. And what happens next is that there is a resurrection. We find out we don’t die. We fulfill the purpose of the seed, and that is eternal.
Do you get angry almost every day? Feel bitterness or jealousy? Tear into yourself? Do things that you know are destructive to yourself, that hurt other human beings? We rise again every day. Something in us is resurrected moment to moment, and what’s resurrected is something we don’t want to rise again: greed, coveting — all the various forms of fear and selfishness that corrupt relationships because of our insistence that someone give all of themselves to us while we give nothing except the bare minimum. That’s what rises again and again.
Another day of wishing that we didn’t have to go through another day — that’s rising again. So instead of love and light and goodness and truth rising into a new form that glorifies the seed from which it came, there is something dark rising.
What would it mean to not rise again you, but to rise again new? Because the truth is, if it’s you that rises again, it’s you that rises again. Only what is new is really resurrected… (to be continued)
There is a ceaseless call in us, between the seed of this individual that we presently are and the tree of life, the Christ within that we are intended to become. What do you think it is inside of you that wants to be a good person? To help somebody when they need help and do it without claiming some prize for doing it? That understands that even though you don’t want to do it, there are times when sacrifice is not just mandatory but is required of you? What do you think it is that knows when you don’t do that, and realizes that you’ve missed the mark again? Inside all of us there is an order of love that is buried quite deep, just like a seed. That seed is God’s love in us and within the seed that is buried also exists the way to find it.
In the spring when you see the seed that becomes the tree or that becomes the flower, you understand the seed is resurrected. And when it rises again, that flower gives birth to a seed that goes back into the ground, and it rises again. Time and nature act upon this form to continually produce what she needs for her own glorification. In the same way, human beings are meant to be resurrected, to rise again, but we have only to look at the world as it is to realize that the seed has become corrupt… (to be continued)