Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

Three Secret Ways to Start Your Life Out Fresh

posted by Guy Finley

Here are three new and true beginnings you can start with today that will put you in the right place for leaving old self-defeating choices behind you for good.

1. Each time you find yourself face to face with some overbearing man or woman who in some way intimidates you, dare to make this new and true beginning: act toward that person in exactly the way you want to act, and: not in the way you think he or she expects you to.

Within the guidelines of being kind and true, speak to that person as though you are completely free to say what you feel, for you are. What any individual may think about what you have to say is not your concern. So let this false concern go.

This highly personal act of independence will likely cause you to tremble. That’s all right. And should your shakiness become visible, proceed anyway. This true beginning will reveal that the cause of your unhappy endings with others has never been in what they’ve demanded of you, but rather within your own impossible and conflict-creating demands on yourself: that you be in charge of your own life and, at the same time, please everyone that asks you to do so.

2. The next time you begin to feel any conflict or confusion over some shaky situation that won’t go away, dare to make this new and true beginning: refuse to cave in to any painful inner prompting that urges you to just “get things settled.”

Deliberately defy those clamoring thoughts and feelings that want to send you on a search outside of yourself for peace of mind. This true beginning will help you to see that bringing an end to conflict must begin and end within you. Look nowhere else!

No snap or desperate decision made in conflict can ever resolve any shaky inner state, because part of any conflict is the fear of making a wrong choice, and fear is at the root of your shakiness, not the solution to it.

3. Any time someone criticizes or corrects you, dare to make this new and true beginning: go against your habitual urge to defend yourself.

Instead of reacting with heated resistance to something you don’t want to hear about yourself, just listen to what’s being said. This true beginning gives you the opportunity to see what you need to see about yourself. And here’s a good guideline for evaluating moments such as these. The more you want to resist the things being said about you, the more you need to hear those very words. So don’t criticize back, either out loud or under your breath. If you meet these moments with an argument, you’ve already lost.

Remember, there’s always something to learn from something said that stings, even if it’s just to discover that you’re still being tripped up by the long shadow of your own falsely inscrutable image.

 

The Path to Happy Endings

posted by Guy Finley

We would all realize many more happy endings in our lives if we agreed to do the one simple thing that it takes to ensure them:  We must refuse to take part in unhappy beginnings! How can this be done? To detect and then drop any dark thought (or feeling) as it sneaks in to define or otherwise direct us guarantees us the following peace of mind:  Our precious time will not be wasted in the futile search for a way out of some unwanted sorrow, as we won’t have made the mistake of getting involved with its sad life in the first place!

How to Create a New You

posted by Guy Finley

On the first of January each year, it is safe to say that billions of people make New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps you are one of these individuals who long to take control of their destiny: to be more kind, less lazy, better disciplined, or to not be as selfish and self-centered.

But I would assert that every year, even as the total number of people who make these resolutions increases, there is also a steady decline in the number of people who hold out any real hope in their own powers to further perfect themselves. And it isn’t that their spirit isn’t willing — only that they have slipped down the steep path before them too many times.

And so it is that we gradually reach that place in our lives where we recognize that simply coming up with more wishes is a waste. If we are to change, something else is needed.

Let’s be honest about what is possible and what is not: Change does not take place tomorrow. We do not lose weight, develop our art, or mysteriously become more kind or conscientious an hour from now. Either we change ourselves in the moment, or not at all.

If we would do better, we must know better, beginning with the following Higher Knowledge that one must have before it’s possible to make any resolutions with any reliability: It is our attention that produces and empowers change in us.

For example, if our attention is given over to angry emotions, then soon this same attention is swimming in a dark sea of negative thoughts that serve only to justify the growing waves of rage within us. The inevitable outcome of this kind of captured attention is an outburst or attack upon someone. We manifest the misery we make through unconscious attention.

So, if we make some resolve that we won’t get angry anymore, or that we will help others instead of hurting them, this much should be clear: Until we learn what it means to be in conscious command of our attention, our disappointments and heartaches must continue.

The reason why we do not change, or otherwise make real our resolve to rise above who we have been, is that we are always forgetting ourselves. We go to sleep spiritually. We doze in dreams of better times to come — of some happier self to be — at the expense of being awake to what is our one real need: To be New Now.

Whenever we can be awake to ourselves and remember our right intention, the rest of the work is done for us. Our intention to be mindful, patient, honest, disciplined, whatever our higher wish may be, places our attention, unmistakably, upon our new aim. And it is this same intention, the upward direction of it, that reveals those dark forces at work within us set against our wish and that seek to drag us down.

Of course our work to be conscious, to have real intention, and pay true attention is difficult! But compare this path to unconsciously being run through endless unintended changes. Suddenly the practice of this special interior work becomes equivalent to a walk in a sun-filled park.

Keep your intention simple to start. For example, make it your intention to be patient with others who displease you; or intend to say, “Yes!” to life whenever negativity in you wants to cry out, “No!” No matter what intention you make, keep it before you — alive and present — at all times. And know this next fact to be both sure and kind: We will fail (often!) at keeping our newly intended wish — but this kind of “failure” will change our very essence, something our worldly successes have not been able to do!

Find out! Remember yourself and your wish for Real Life. Work at keeping your spiritual intention before you — whatever roads you may walk — and watch how God watches over you, seeing to it that you grow in all that is Good.

Learn to Keep Your Intention

posted by Guy Finley

In life, learn to keep your intention, and your attention, on what is — and what can be — instead of upon what is not or can’t be. Do this and watch how new doors appear before you that open into the arms of the Awakened Life.

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