Who you really are—your immortal Self—doesn’t live in the past, and therefore cannot be punished by anything that happened there. If anything, the repeated pain of reliving whatever the problems may have been should show us that we’ve arrived in […]
So many people today are bitter, broken-hearted, or just plain angry because of what happened to them while growing up. The reasons for their resentment or regret are as countless as are the number of unconscious people who unknowingly create […]
Life is always new, which means there is no such thing as an “old” problem. The only thing aged in us, with regards to what continues to make us ache, is our worn out ideas about how to overcome our […]
We may not yet see it as being so, but whenever unwanted situations come along — stripping us of some beloved attachment — it is the operation of one world acting upon another. There is our familiar world, the one […]
Any lingering shame over who or what you were in “days gone by” is like a newly opened rose blushing for having once been a bud…
In this short talk, Guy Finley explains the difference between the false kind of shame that shackles us to a self that is trapped in the past, and the proper kind of conscious remorse that is the seed of true […]
No individual relationship is the (sole) cause of one’s conflict or pain; our relationships reveal the nature of an unconscious pain that we bring into them with us. To start discerning the difference between these (two) perceptions is the beginning […]
Question: I’ve seen that I’ve said and done some terrible things to people in my life. How do I get through this guilt and shame? Is there a right way to make amends to the people I’ve wronged? Answer: Oh […]
No animal hides in shame for being itself. No tree bends to the opinion of others. No wind avoids the granite face before it. Only human beings cultivate ways in which to fawn or cower before one another, and all […]
Beating ourselves up after making a blunder doesn’t mean that we actually know better than what we just did — nor does this kind of suffering lead to greater command or better decisions the next time around. Self-punishing acts prove […]
Guy Finley explains that you can either sit and regret the cruel behavior you’ve been subjected to by others in your past, or you can use your awareness of the pain it causes you in the present to become properly […]
Judging oneself may seem wise to the level of self involved in that judgment; but all judging of oneself is the deflection of a revelation that would heal oneself… if allowed to flower.
Question: Is there any value to “clearing away” the wreckage of the past? It seems to help, yet I feel wrong in trying to correct so many wrongs that are behind me. Answer: The wreckage of the past exists only […]
The past is the past. It has no foothold in us save for the parts of us that are fascinated with reliving the pain for the purpose of confirming the reality of self. The darkness that torments us over what […]
“Turning to learning” begins with the honest recognition that our present approach to solving personal problems just doesn’t work. This may come as a surprise: Learning to live without recurring problems begins with losing faith in our habitual responses that […]
Self-realization author Guy Finley explains in this short talk that happier, healthier and brighter relationships with others become possible when we begin to let go of painful grudges and resentments within ourselves.
Question: How can I move beyond a painful regret? Answer: Events demand decisions. Choices must be made. And we do the best we know how in any given moment. Even so, we often err and choose against ourselves. For a […]
Without our unconscious consent, regardless of what we may have done against others, or ourselves, the past is powerless to punish us in the present moment.
Question: What is the role of guilt? And what is the role of self-blame for personal wrongs committed? What about confession of sins? Answer: The role of guilt belongs to the self-wrecking parts of one’s self that persist in unconsciously […]
In difficult moments with others let us remember this truth: it is better to find ourselves lacking the love we need to be kind — and to quietly suffer this humiliation — than it is to act from what is […]
A big part of our inner work in all of our relationships involves remembering this key idea: whenever we are not present and properly attentive to ourselves, we may be sure the false self is busy attending to something we’ll […]
Question: I’ve said and done some terrible things to people in my life. How do I get through this guilt? Is there a right way to make amends to people I’ve wronged? Answer: Yes. Change yourself. In the long run, […]
Whatever justifies the unconscious suffering inherent in anger, blame, or bitterness is, itself, a part of — in league with — these same negative states. And that’s what we have to see if we ever want to be free of […]
If it helps, think of troubling times like these as your having been distracted while taking a long walk through the city. Maybe you were caught up with thinking about the “good old days!” Then you suddenly realize that, in […]
Our task, if we want to be free human beings — if we want a life in which we no longer carry around with us “what he did,” “what she didn’t do,” “what never worked out” — begins with discovering […]
The following thoughts are for all of us who have ever been hurt, which means the following insights are for the whole world. Here’s what to do whenever we find ourselves wrapped in the flames of that burning house called […]
There lives nothing real in our past — regardless of how disappointing or painful it may have been — that can grab us and make us its captive, any more than a dark shadow has the power to keep us […]
In this podcast, Guy Finley talks about the unseen connection between lying and having enemies. Click here to listen to this podcast “The Truth About Lying”
QUESTION What is it in me that wants to re-live painful moments from my past, and what’s it going to take for me to break through to totally present living? Is there a way to live in the present so […]
QUESTION What is the best way to make up for past wrongs to others (betraying, lying, stealing, etc.)? ANSWER All of us have wronged others. Truth be known, until we wake up, we are all — in one form or […]
Two men stroll down a leaf-covered wood lot path on a clear, brisk autumn morning. Jeff and Mark have been friends for years. They enjoy their Saturday morning walks and talks together. Yet, something’s different about Mark today. Jeff senses […]
The official start of the fall season is September 23, the autumnal equinox. This date is auspicious because it marks the onset of a great, but mostly unrecognized, cycle in life. Autumn days signal a new kind of activity; it’s […]
In this short talk, Guy Finley explains why there is never any good reason to feel disappointed or discouraged about your life.
To sow spiritual seeds means that we do spiritual work. Spiritual work is always interior work first, even if, as a matter of course, this work becomes manifest through exterior action. What is this interior work by which we sow […]
In this powerful podcast, Guy Finley points the way to a completely new understanding about your own mind that can forever free you from the painful sting of past regrets.
QUESTION Why is it so hard to let go of resentment of things past? ANSWER It isn’t the thing, the person, the condition that holds us captive and puts us in conflict. It is our attachment to the sense of […]