Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

Question: I have walked away from an abusive relationship. Every morning when I wake up, I am met with dark voices that tell me life is meaningless. Panic sets in. I cannot go back to the life I had, but I seem unable to find faith and hope for a higher life. I know this old self must pass but I don’t know how to let go. How do I walk through this and want the life God has given me?

Answer: Even though your circumstances may seem totally unique, and that perhaps you’re aware of no one else who has ever suffered as you do now, nevertheless all those who would be free must pass through such dark nights as you now realize are not simply a spiritual metaphor, but a physical, mental, and emotional fact.

I know the times are difficult: there is no other way they can be once we see, clearly, what we can no longer be, what is impossible for us to keep doing.

I’m sure I’m paraphrasing someone with this following idea, but not only is it true… but now you are knowing it as true for and from yourself: there comes in the life of every aspirant a time when we must depart — not for the familiar promises or places that we hope will end what disturbs us; but rather we set sail for an unknown shore… because all known harbors have been seen as powerless to reconcile our present, incessant state of discontent.

Lastly, these stretches of wandering through the desert of oneself (think of Christ, Moses, Buddha…and the stories of their path) are part of the Way back Home. All who would be free, who would know the Divine, must consciously lose themselves in that unimaginable dryness of having no hope, of seeing no recognizable oasis ahead. The following may be of little comfort at this point, but I send it anyway.

The part of you that you know must pass can see nothing above itself, and therefore it has very little reason to suffer for what seems little more than a pipe dream called “freedom.” At the same time, the part of you that have initiated this journey — knowing that you can’t know of any higher kingdom until you’ve departed the one you are now in bondage to — can’t become consciously present within you until the other consciousness has passed from you. Again, there is little consolation in such facts, but when one can see the truth of something — even though they can’t yet touch that truth — it does serve as a bit of light that one can see it is reachable, even while in the dark.

Persist. It isn’t so much that those times will pass, as it is that you will eventually see that what struggles now — and feels like it is dying — is not who you really are, and never has been.

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