Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley


The Secret of Learning from Life

posted by Guy Finley

Each time we feel an emotional pain, we should use that as a signal that we’ve made a mistake, that we’ve crashed and now need to find and try another new way. For example, our presently pained position is the proof that our past responses to personal crises are inadequate to clear the barriers we still are crashing into — that we not only need a new way to meet life, but that our old ways just don’t work. The problem for most of us is that we rarely allow ourselves to learn in this way. We have hundreds of experiences each day in which our expectations crash into reality. Whenever this happens, we have a close encounter of the truthful kind, because in that same moment of trial we see for an instant that we really don’t know what to do. These small and large self-crashes in themselves are not a problem. They are, in a way, the school of life. The problem is that we won’t admit we don’t know what to do. We don’t use the event to learn a new response. Instead, we become defensive and return to the same mindset that led to our latest collision. We tell ourselves we understand the cause of getting hurt, and that we know what or whom to blame. And once we’ve assessed fault through this unseen faulty approach, then we know what to do. Some self pops up and tells us to “act happy,” “eat something,” “call a friend,” “think about it.” But none of these responses has ever made us better equipped to handle the next crisis. We persist in our belief that we know what to do, and instead of trying something different, we just return to the familiar route.

Until we understand where the true cause of our unhappiness lies, we can never be happy. As long as our preconceived notions about life run into the reality of it we will continue to feel like we’re on the losing side, and since we do not learn from the crash, the process continues. We feel that our lives are out of control, and they are.

We start learning from life when we stop blaming reality, and accept that it was our lack of understanding that created the perceived problem. Our sincere wish to learn cannot fail to attract the healing truth we desire, which can then become a part of us and act through us. This can only happen through our own self-work. No one can tell us the truth, for then it would not become a part of our own nature. We must test our beliefs and question our responses for ourselves. When we begin to understand the truth about reality, and our own place in it (because we have actually entered into it for ourselves), that truth, along with all its power, becomes our own.



Previous Posts

Sharing Your Spiritual Work with Your Children
Question: Any thoughts on what is a good way to share my spiritual work with my kids? Answer: Be as consciously kind as you can be, which means to not express (but watch instead) your negative states. Be as encouraging as possible without producing false hope. Speak the truth at all times without

posted 3:00:44am Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

Remaining Conscious Around Others
Question: The more I think I know about true spirituality, the more I become easily aggravated by the behavior of others when I hear them make an obviously false (spiritually) statement, or I observe their inconsistent behavior. I sense that part of my anger is seeing the inconsistency and false beh

posted 12:00:57pm Jan. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Caregiving Aging Parents
Question: My father has had cancer for about two years. Neither of us talk about dying. When a nurse asked him about dying, he said he was afraid he wouldn't go to heaven. I would like to help in some way, but I'm also afraid to talk to him about it and I don't really know what I would say. Answe

posted 12:00:22pm Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

The Breeding Ground of Self-Defeat
Stress, anxiety, and tension are the dark jewels adorning a thorny crown we must wear whenever we try to live more than one moment at a time…  

posted 12:00:50pm Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »

(Audio) Stop Looking For Trouble and You Won't Find It
In this short talk, Guy Finley talks about the importance of being present to ourselves, especially when the mind seeks to identify with something so that it can feel disturbed. [audio mp3="http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/lettinggo/files/2015/01/20141102_stop_looking.mp3"][/audio]

posted 12:00:11pm Jan. 22, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.