It is perhaps the mystery of the ages that only to the degree that we perfect our love in God do we come to realize oneness, and that only God can perfect our love in Him. God perfects our love in him by showing us through His movement, within and without, that which is yet to have been perfected by the Light that reveals it.
There’s nothing that takes place in life, including all of the ugliness in it, that isn’t part of a person’s preparation for discovering within him or herself the eternal ability to transcend what has been disturbed. And the way in which the eternal process of transcending what is disturbed takes place is through an act of love.
It is the act of love that enlarges our life. No other act genuinely enlarges it. And the reason that the act of love alone enlarges our life is because it is the merging of who and what we have been with that which we have yet to discover about ourselves. God does not condemn us for our un-integrated state. He brings lessons to reveal that to us so that we can begin to transcend those parts of ourselves that keep us from entering into real relationship.
To have a relationship with the Divine, to actually know what oneness is, one becomes one. In order for that to be, we have to love God so completely, that no matter what it is that God gives to us, we know it is being given to us for the sake of the furtherance and the perfection of that Love that we would know.