Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

How to Defuse Painful Memories

Question: I can make myself sick with just the simple thought of a certain painful memory crossing my mind. Is there a way to defuse the hurt instead of sinking into it?

Answer: The next time some hostile state takes you over — either in thought (as in remembering something someone did to you in the past) or in an actual moment of conflict with someone standing before you — ask yourself the following question at the moment you can remember yourself to do so: Is this self that I am presently experiencing the me that I want to be? Or: Is this suffering self how I want to know myself? And then just come as awake as you can to the realization that you are not who you want to be at that moment, but that something foreign to your True Nature has imposed itself on you and taken over your life. Then, once having done this, do nothing else except realize that while you may be temporarily powerless to stop the lower state from possessing you, you are empowered to recognize the negative state as an intruder. This awareness — this conscious awareness of your true pained condition — is what it means to put the light on the problem. That is your job. The Light will do its part if you will do yours. Persist until you are free!

  • Sindy Verdugo


    I listen to a tape of yours almost every morning and make notes in my suduku book with my morning coffee.

    I am really learning to put my own painful memories in their place. Thanks.

    I just got back from a camping trip with my son. He is dealing with painful memories from his recent break up with his wife.

    I brought my suduku book with me. I was able to share valuable lessons with him and was helpful.

    Thank you for the wisdom. Thank you for helping me to be a good supportive mom.


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