Last week I had a strong feeling of generalized anxiety come over me, even though there was no apparent cause. I want to remain with the emotion in order to understand it. I watch it, and it lifts, only to return again. I realize that anything “I” try to do to “get rid of it” will guarantee its return, or perhaps make it even worse. I want to use this strong emotion to break through its veil of oppression. Somehow I sense this may be a great opportunity for me.
Here is one thing that’s key for us to understand. If our work to be watchful is an attempt on our part to rid ourselves of some state, then this is not real watchfulness, but rather a cloaked form of willfulness that is secret resistance on our part. And all resistance is, among other things, a form of attraction (in reverse) as well as a form of unconscious identification. So, be watchful of this trap… of hoping for some outcome as a result of your effort to attend to the state in question. Our work to observe is in order to become conscious of our own machinations, not to make the machine work according to some preconceived notion.
Apart from these thoughts, rest assured that whatever the condition you’re meeting in yourself, you already have all that is needed (within you) to turn it into spiritual “gold.” Just persist with your wish to remember yourself, and stay in the middle of whatever is revealed. Eventually you will see that who you really are is the seer, and not any one of the gazillion things being seen.