Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley


The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life

posted by Guy Finley

Most of us already suspect what needs to be done if we are to have any hope of moving beyond the conflict so common in today’s relationships. Nevertheless, here is a brief description of the spiritual action to be taken: We must stop giving to our friends and family the pain we cannot bear to carry ourselves. Said differently, each of us must agree to be the one who will “taste” what we would serve to our “enemy du jour” before we throw it upon his or her plate.

From this moment forward, let the conflict stop with you. Make it your intention to forever quit yourself from the turning of this invisible wheel-of-woe. Each time we will consciously refuse to strike back in anger or act out some aggression toward the one who hurts us, we sow the seed of a new order of a conscious life. Now instead of being used by dark forces that grow at the expense of our soul’s development, it is we who use our endless differences with others to grow endlessly. And at the same time that we learn to rise above the pain of our own negative reactions, we create the possibility and opportunity for others around us to do the same.
Each time we will choose not to respond to someone’s mental or emotional blow with a blow of our own, that person is left no choice but to see that the only antagonist he has is his own pain. And just as this person’s awakening to the continual cause of his unconscious aching is the beginning of the end of it, so too is this true for us. Our newly awakened understanding reveals that there is nothing for us to do with our pain but to let it be nothing to us. And with each such spiritual step that we will dare to take outside the circle of suffering, so do we make a way for everyone else… because at last the circle has been broken.


  • Danny

    I couldn’t agree more, Guy. It took me years to get to the point of seeing things in this manner. I always wanted to resist and fight back, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I never realized that I had a choice not to and to be empowered even more for doing so! Now that’s power! Thank you!

  • Dave

    This is very timely counsel with Thanksgiving and the Christmas season approaching. Most folks will be spending time with extended family with whom there are subterranean issues.

  • Lee-ann Harder

    Lovely and well spoken!

  • Geri Greene

    I am very glad you didn’t include any identifying characterists ;) I have caught myself ‘should-ing’ on people recently – especially family – and forgetting their are carrying their own burdens. I’m struggling with expectations again from so many.

  • http://spunkyprayerpoems.blogspot.com Stephen Gifford

    Very good! Smart stuff! Thank you for the encouragement and sharing your wisdom. Please check out my website for samples of my work, and refer to me anyone who could help answer my prayers by helping to finance publishing and marketing a book of them.
    God bless!

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