Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley


Rising Above the Unconscious Fear of Being Yourself

posted by Guy Finley

QUESTION

Why is it that when it comes to others, I don’t say what I feel until I am irritated? Then I don’t care what I say to get my point across! 


ANSWER


Here’s the short answer to your question: we will almost never say what we’re really feeling (to those who somehow irritate or otherwise disturb us) because of an unconscious fear that we have of ourselves; the truth is, we fear our own negative states, as well as the inevitable negative repercussions that take place in our relationships if we express them. And so, rather than dealing with this fomenting force of darkness within us, we swallow it over and over again until the pressure grows so great that we can no longer keep it down. We all know what happens next: we explode (in one way or another) with no regard for what our negative state is doing to the one we are spewing it upon. This situation is usually followed by some kind of remorse, in which we promise ourselves (or the unfortunate other) that we will never be that way again…but of course the pattern repeats itself because the lesson remains unlearned. The solution to this sorry cycle is simple, but as challenging as anything we will attempt to do. When something is troubling us about the manifestation of another — assuming of course that we are not just being petty, superficial, or otherwise petulant — we must learn to tell them the truth of our experience with them, in spite of the fear we have that should we speak about the matter, we’ll end up either being taken over by our own negative state, or driving the person away because of the same. And yet, seen clearly, each time we refuse to act — for the fear of being taken over or compromised by our own negative state — the truth is we are, at that very moment, taken over by a negative state! Its objective is to keep us from becoming conscious of it, of being aware of what its presence is doing to us and everyone else around us as a result of our “silence.” So do what you fear doing! It is the only way to eventually realize a kindness that fears nothing and no one.


  • http://energyandintention.com Noreen

    Thanks for this post Guy, it is really timely.

  • Mora

    Yes, I say the same as Noreen–very timely. I encountered a situation a few days ago with my significant other, in which he later told me, “You should have simply said, ‘I’m angry with you.’” I did not. But he knew I was. So we did not discuss it, and the negative repercussions mounted over the next day until we opened up the topic. He told me not to fear my anger; that it is only an emotion. He told me to make friends with it, and express it in a healthy way. I learned a valuable lesson, and this post of yours strengthens that lesson. I pray that next time, I will be conscious, calm, open and honest up front, immediately, despite my many fears.
    Thank you!!!

  • Joie

    Why do most people not accept it as a gift of honesty to point out how we feel – and how can I undo the years of ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all……..’ ?
    I’ve caught myself recently in this simmering cauldron that has nothing to do with halloween

Previous Posts

The Power to Dismiss Discontentment From Your Life (Part 2)
By the light of our impersonal study about discontentment we can see two bright new truths: much of our time is spent identifying the so-called cause of our discontented condition, and the rest of our time is taken up trying to change our unwanted situation into what we imagine will better suit our

posted 12:00:47pm Jul. 29, 2014 | read full post »

The Power to Dismiss Discontentment From Your Life (Part 1)
Most of us spend a lot more time trying to deal with discontentment than is obvious at first glance. Depending on how the day breaks for us, we may find ourselves feeling discontent about our life whenever we: • Compare our present level of health and energy to those better days when we felt a

posted 12:00:30pm Jul. 28, 2014 | read full post »

How to Fulfill Your True Purpose
  The only way to change that which we will be, and have, in a time to come is to learn what it means to work “with what we are” in the present moment!

posted 12:00:24pm Jul. 25, 2014 | read full post »

(Audio) Being Alive Begins with Being Present
In this short talk, Guy Finley explains how everything that exists was made for us to discover our true nature. [audio mp3="http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/lettinggo/files/2014/07/20130317_being_alive_sm.mp3"][/audio]

posted 12:00:38pm Jul. 24, 2014 | read full post »

Increasing Awareness of the Present Moment
Question: What can one do to have a greater awareness of reality? Answer: A quart cup cannot hold a gallon of water. Don’t worry about “a greater awareness” but be as constant and conscious as you can towards the awareness you can bring to bear. Each moment we put our wish for the present m

posted 12:00:54pm Jul. 23, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.