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Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Self-Love & Acceptance Archives

Understanding the Soul of Wellness

I’m delighted to have Rajiv Parti. M.D. (aka Dr. Raj), a world leading specialist in pain management with over 30 years practicing clinical experience. He was the Chief of Anesthesiology at Bakersfield Heart Hospital where he specialized in cardiac anesthesia. […]

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Law of Attraction in Action: Hate

This is post 209 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

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Question: How Can I Stop My Manager’s Nastiness?

A reader I’ll call Rose wrote that her office manager, Ms. Nasty, doesn’t treat her with respect and sometimes gets downright nasty, making sarcastic personal comments about her appearance, calling her nicknames that are disrespectful and withholding info that she […]

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Freeing Yourself

I’m always happy to have Tina Tessina, Ph.D. as my guest. Her articles bring a great response as she has such a good take on life’s ups and downs. Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California and […]

Making a Commitment to Grow

When I was a DoorMat, I went in circles around what I wanted to do. Of course I wanted to leave DoorMatville, and vowed often to do it, but I stayed for years after. Every time someone pushed me too […]

Life Lessons from JD Messinger Part 2

Yesterday I had a post called Life Lessons from JD Messinger Part 1. Today is part 2 of the interview with JD Messinger, a man who has had a remarkable journey into understanding life, and himself. He went deep inside […]

Life Lessons from JD Messinger, Part 1

While I’ve met all kinds of people who adhere to a spiritual mindset, I’d never have expected someone who was appointed to the U.S. Naval Academy by the U.S. Secretary of the Navy and was one of 37 Distinguished Graduates, […]

Completely Accepting Life

I’m delighted to have John Tsilimparis, MFT, an authority on the dynamics of anxiety, as my guest today. His expertise was featured regularly on the TV documentary series Obsessed on the A&E Television Network and was on Collection Intervention on […]

It’s My Birthday!

Today is my birthday. I turn another year older. And, I’m happy about it! Getting older no longer scares me like it did when I was younger. I’m content with who I am. And I love me VERY much. Every […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Acting Your Age

This is post 204 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Getting Older vs. Getting Old

My birthday is this week and I’m excited. Yet I know many people, especially women, who dread each birthday like it’s a curse. I always find that a shame, especially since I’m older than many of them. But I become […]

Law of Attraction in Action: New Beginnings

This is post 202 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Where Do You Belong?

People tend to fall into patterns and make life decisions based on what they’ve been guided to do. Sometimes they were kind of programmed to go in a certain direction. Many women are taught young that their biggest goal as […]

What Do You Want to Be When You REALLY Grow Up?

The title of this article might seem confusing since you may assume that since you’re an adult you’re already grown up. But age doesn’t necessarily make you a grown up. For me, grown up means grown into yourself, who you […]

Productive Envy

Envy is considered a negative quality. It can be accompanied by thoughts of wishing someone would fall down or make you not like the person, even if it’s a friend or family member. It can also trigger negative “compliments” such […]

The Healing Power of Forgiving

There’s a lot said about forgiving others when they do something you don’t like, or that hurts you or that’s downright wrong. Yet it’s still so hard for people to forgive someone who did them wrong. What’s hard to understand […]

Owning Your Greatness

I’m delighted to have Brad Yates as my guest today. I’ve posted several of his Tapping (EFT—Emotional Freedom Technique) videos that he has on YouTube. While we’ve never met, I feel like he’s my friend as I watch his videos […]

The Struggle to Meditate

In last my post for my Law of Attraction in Action Series, Meditation, I recommended trying to meditate in order to clear your mind for positive manifesting. While I recommended it, I admitted that I’m not good at meditating. It’s […]

Creating a Mantra for Losing Weight

If losing weight is a goal for so many people, why is it so hard to make it happen? Because it’s hard! That’s why I’m happy to have Stephanie Mansour, CEO of Step It Up with Steph, as my guest […]

“Do You Have Minute?”

I just got a call from someone at a charity I’ve donated to in the past. I was working. Busy. Not happy to be interrupted. Grrr…. She asked, “Do you have a minute.” I wanted to get sarcastic and say […]

Stop Dieting & Start Eating—Healthy!

I recently has the pleasure of meeting Joy Bauer, who is often on the Today Show giving tips and inspiration for becoming more fit. Her warmth comes across on the screen but in person she was even more of a […]

What Really Matters to You?

What makes you happy? Many people say lots of money or expensive things. Kids tend to reach for the biggest one of something, thinking bigger is better. Many of us still do that. We think more expensive or fancier is […]

What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

What’s Your Guilty Pleasure? Is it eating chocolate? Watching reality shows? Pigging out on the weekend? Most people can identify something when asked that question. I used to have lots of guilty pleasures, until I realized that most pleasure shouldn’t […]

Connect to Your World

Many of us live with blinders on, walking down the street without actually noticing who’s there. It seems like life moves much faster these days, with more effort put into making ends meet and keeping up with technology. Texting, social […]

Showing Reverence For Your Body

I’m delighted to have Laura M. Turner, M.Sc., CNHP back as my guest today. She’s an author, journalist and wellness mentor specializing in natural anti-aging practices and nutritional medicine. Below Laura provides insight about accepting all aspects of your body […]

Law of Attraction in Action: How Saying “No” to Something Can Backfire

This is post 193 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stop Expecting the Worst

We all do it at least sometimes—going to a negative place while waiting for something you want to happen if you don’t get good news immediately. You may be waiting for a call from a friend who you just reconnected […]

Rewriting Trauma

Many of us have trauma in our history. It can be hard to overcome if whatever caused it went on for a long time. But it can be dealt with, and healed if your recognize it and choose to move […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Your Response to Situations

This is post 192 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Let your Passions Take Gymnastics

How rigid are you? I have a friend who has what I call a cookie cutter life. Karen was raised to be a traditional sort of woman and became teacher because she was told it’s a good profession for women. […]

Handling the Green-Eyed Monster—Envy

Envy really can be a deterrent to your happiness. It can suck the life out of your joy if you let it rule your perspective. Envy can minimize your own blessings if you compare what you have to other people […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Buying Without Fear or Guilt

This is post 190 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Make Friends with YOU

How would you feel if a friend called you fat for having ice cream? It would ruin your pleasure. What if she called you stupid for making a mistake? You’d feel angry and hurt and think she should be kinder. […]

Be More Like Children

All behavior is learned. As kids we’re carefree, letting our imaginations run wild. Then we grow up and restrict our behavior to fit into society, or so we believe. I was recently visiting someone with a three-year old. He gave […]

Recognize Your Beauty

We see the beauty in other people and in the world around us. But, often we don’t recognize or acknowledge our own. Do you balk or try to minimize compliments? Is it easier to put yourself down? Are your flaws […]

Declare Your Personal Independence!

Would you like to implement the power you already possess? Yes, you already possess it! It just needs activation. Declare independence—from other people’s needs, from insecurity, from friends who use you, from disrespectful people, from not being taken seriously and […]

Aging Well: Interview with Dr. Jennifer Landa

Everyone wants to age well. Our culture is fixated and looking young. People worry about getting sick as they get older. So I went to Dr. Jennifer Landa to get some info on aging in the best way possible. Dr. […]

The Benefits of Being Happy

People tend to look for ways to feel happy, but they’re often fleeting. Often we’re so busy trying find happiness we don’t recognize it when you have it. Happiness isn’t something you build by buying stuff or adding more bells […]

What’s Your Excuse?

Is there something you really want to do but…? Or something you know you should do but…? We make excuses that stop us. Maybe it’s not the right time or you think you’re not good enough or you don’t believe […]

Do You Have the Courage to Hope?

I’m happy to have Tina Tessina, Ph.D. back as my guest. Her articles always bring a great response as she has such a great take on life’s ups and downs. Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California […]

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Want vs. What Is

This is post 186 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Getting Past Negative Experiences

We all have setbacks and disappointments and even traumatic experiences—your promotion at work may be stalled or your job is eliminated, your relationship ends, someone close to you passes away, you have an accident, your child gets into trouble, etc. […]

Celebrate Other People

I often encourage you to celebrate yourself and all you do. But it’s also nice to celebrate the people in your life that you care about. Most people are insecure in some way, no matter how confident they come across. […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Accepting the Bad with the Good

This is post 185 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

My Idol: The Dalai Lama

If someone asks me if I have a choice to meet anyone, my answer is always the same—his holiness, the Dalai Lama. His goodness leaves me in awe. His bubbly personality with a happy laugh is contagious. And he taught […]

What Brings You Down?

Stuff happens. Life can be going well and then boof! A glitch appears. It could be something simple like getting a run in your stocking at work or hearing a weird noise from your car. It’s common to go to […]

Staying Young at Heart—Literally!

I’ve said many times that taking care of your health is a great act of love. And that also allows you to get older in better ways. Without a healthy heart, it’s hard to have a healthy body. That’s why […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s Impossible!”

This is post 184 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

Someone I know who I’ll call Cindy passed away suddenly at forty-one. She was healthy and never expected to be killed in a car accident. I was with some of her friends soon after and they talked about her funeral […]

Don’t Give Up Your Power for Anger

I was in a good mood when my friend called to tell me she couldn’t make it to a concert we were supposed to attend that night. Her excuse wasn’t good in my book—a guy she liked asked her to […]

May the Best Person Do It

People often have a hard time receiving help for several possible reasons. When I was a DoorMat I only wanted to help others. Receiving was tough, as it is for most people pleasers. I’d rather plod through something in a […]

Stop Living in the Future

Many people  live in the future—postponing the enjoyment of life until something you’d like happens. It gives your daydreams control over happiness right now. We think about how nice it will be when we meet the romantic partner of our […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Economy Limits

This is post 182 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

You Can’t Do What?

I hear “I can’t…” way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn’t high enough to tackle it so you write it […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Start Your Day with Positive Intentions

This is post 181 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Question: How Can I Feel Empowered When I See the Ex Who Hurt Me?

A reader who I’ll call Lisa wrote that she has to go to an event for a friend who is friendly with her ex-boyfriend, so he’ll be there too. This guy took advantage of Lisa when they were involved. She […]

What’s Going On For You Right Now?

Many of us dwell in the past, letting old memories affect our present life. Or we look to the future with expectations that can be positive or negative. Doing so is usually reflected in to your level of happiness. If […]

Preparing for Spring

Many of us notice changes in ourselves that happen as we enter a new season. You may not realize it but your body adjusts to the warmer/colder temps and shorter/longer days. I always notice a shift as a new season […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Being in the Vortex

This is post 180 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stop Living on the Defensive

Do you fight urges to snack or overeat? Do you get crazy when things go wrong that you weren’t expecting? Then you’re on the defensive, trying to fight urges or shore up problems. I’ve found that the best way to […]

Staying Grounded in Your Awesomeness

I’m happy to have Beauty Activist and Celebrity Red Carpet Makeup Artist Kenetia Lee as my guest today She is a leading authority on beauty empowerment. Her goal is to inspire women everywhere to express themselves authentically without fear. Are […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Negative Entertainment

This is post 179 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Friends You Should Cut Loose

In my last post, Assessing Your Friends, I discussed the importance of re-evaluating your friends and letting go of negative ones. If someone regularly does things that greatly bother you, snip them loose, or limit contact. That doesn’t mean you […]

Assessing Your Friends

During DoorMat days, I pleased and pleased to have as many friends as possible. I was under the misguided belief that everyone had to like me. People Pleasers befriend everyone. Now I’m very selective about who I call a friend […]

Law of Attraction in Action: HOW?

This is post 177 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Moving from What Ifs to What Is

Have you ever been ready to do something, take a risk, or try something new, then put on the brakes by thinking “What if this or that happens?” Most of us have done that. Certain activities seem be scary or […]

Have You Learned Your Lessons?

Do you find yourself making the same mistakes, over and over? Or continuously ending up in the same situation that you don’t like? People tell me they feel jinxed when this happens to them. They look for what or who […]

Yoga Lessons for Everyday Life

I’m delighted to have Diana Fletcher, a Certified Life coach, speaker and stress reducing expert as my guest today. Diana is the author of several books, including Happy on Purpose Daily Messages of Empowerment and publishes a bi-monthly ezine entitled […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Empowering Yourself

This is post 176 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power tomanifest all your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Can You Give Thanks for a Whole Day?

A while ago I read about someone who consciously said “thanks” for everything he experienced for an entire day. I thought that was a great idea and decided to do it. I didn’t remember my goal for a few hours […]

Look Just Ahead as You Keep Walking

Have you kept any of your resolutions yet? Or have they already gone out of your life with the holiday decorations? As I discussed in my post, Set New Year’s Intentions, it’s so easy to make resolutions about things you’re […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Making Every Day a Loving One

This is post 175 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Whitney Houston: Losing the Greatest Love

We often think that celebrities have it made. With all their money they can buy anything. They can get the best care, the best food, top of the line cosmetic work, and the best treatments for their problems. Yet Whitney […]

Question: How Can I Stop Lending Money?

A reader asked how she can stop loaning money to family. They rarely pay her back and always have a rationale about why she needs to help them out. They don’t help her. Yet they act like it’s her responsibility […]

Who’s Giving You Love on Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is considered a day for love. But there’s no law that love has to be the romantic kind. Giving flowers and gifts was a tradition created by companies that sell the products you buy. It puts pressure on […]

31 Days of Self-Love 2012

Self-Love Month is over but the love shouldn’t be!  it’s important to not forget the importance of giving yourself love as much as you can. If you haven’t already done do, I highly recommend you read my free book, How […]

Adjusting Your Attitude for More Happiness

I’m happy to have Tina Tessina, Ph.D. back as my guest. Her articles always bring a great response as she has such a great take on life’s ups and downs. Tina is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Be a Loving Person

Today is the last day of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 173 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use […]

The Self-Loving Gift of Autonomy

Today is Day 30 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. DoorMats go along with what others want. MANY people look to others for a life and get obsessed […]

The Joy Within

Today is Day 29 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Sheila Viers as my guest today. She’s a Life Coach and Co-founder of Live […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Do Something Spontaneously

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. It can feel more comfortable to plan your activities in advance. No surprises, No risks. But doing something […]

Do You Have the Patience to Be Happy?

Today is Day 27 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. You have the patience to wait on line to buy a ticket to a movie you’re anxious to […]

How’s Your Relationship with YOU?

Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Today I have Teri Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers by Gardening Your life and Nurturing Seeds of […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Post Happy Thoughts

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Often things that bother you can override the good you have. Studies have shown that negative emotions can […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Self-Appreciation

Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 172 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2012

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some in a post, to give […]

Healing with Self-Love

  Today is Day 22 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have Alice McCall as my guest today. Alice is a Cellular Level Healing Consultant, […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Learn to Say “No”

Today is Day 21 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’ve encouraged you to say “no” many times yet I know how hard it is to begin to […]

“Am I Willing to Love Me?”

Today is Day 20 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. “Am I willing to love me?” I always wanted to love myself. It seemed like the right thing […]

Try Some Self-Compassion

Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Commit to Doing One Small Task Every Day

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I often get frustrated at how quickly my dinette table gets cluttered with stuff. It can seem overwhelming […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Following Your Passion

Today is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 171 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

Favor vs. Obligation

Today is Day 16 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. We often confuse doing someone a favor with feeling an obligation to do something for someone. DoorMats see […]

Get Your Creative Hat On!

Today is Day 15 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m happy to have Melissa Dinwiddie, an artist, creative coach and inspirationalist known for getting people sparked, stoked […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Say, “I Approve of Myself”

Today is Day 14 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Saying “I approve of myself as I am,” over and over, even if you don’t, can make it […]

Building Loving Energy

Today is Day 13 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have Laura M. Turner, M.Sc., CNHP back as my guest today. She’s an author, journalist […]

How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros

Today is Day 12 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show themselves love, to give you […]

“I Love Me Tip: Make a Bad Habit Piggy Bank

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. We all have habits that we don’t like. It could be an addictive one like overeating, or the […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Accepting Kindness

Today is Day 10 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. This is post 170 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your […]

Self-Love vs. Selfish

Today is Day 9 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. There’s more than a fine line between being selfish and being loving to yourself. Yet some people confuse […]

Confessions of a Misguided Love Junkie

Today is Day 8 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I’m delighted to have unconditional love expert Lisa McCourt as my guest today. I featured her video on […]

Why Actress Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives) Helps Lung Cancer Patients

Today is Day 5 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Taking charge of your healthcare is self-love. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in the […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Find the Exercise You Enjoy

Today is Day 4 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. I work out in the gym with a personal trainer and only work with weights. From the beginning, […]

The Joy of Being Imperfect

Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love. Many of us were brought up with very high standards. Your parents might have pushed you to get […]

Happy New Year Filled with Self-Love

Happy New Year!  I hope that your entry into 2012 was a happy one. As usual, I enjoyed doing my spiritual work to clear my energy for a good start to the next year of my life so I began […]

Start the New Year Resolved Not to Fail

Everyone is making New Years resolutions. It all feels and sound wonderful but, often—very often—the determination to keep them fades soon after January 1st. I love ending the year knowing I didn’t have any failures. While you’ve probably heard it […]

Reach Higher

What are your goals? Are they big or just a little? I see many people with great potential who don’t live up to it because they get in their own way by not recognizing and accepting that they could have […]

Blessings for the Holiday and Beyond

Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or don’t have a specific religion, it’s lovely to enjoy the spirit of this holiday season. People seem friendlier. I love walking through the streets of Manhattan and always express amazement about how […]

Go for the Whole Enchilada!

DoorMats settle for crumbs—occasional attention from someone you do a favor for, romantic involvement with someone who is “better than nothing,” bits of happy times, etc. I remember clearly how that feels. Back in my Doormat days, I got used […]

Why Life Can Be Like Fruitcake

Life doesn’t always go smoothly, despite your best efforts. While I often recommend that you try to set boundaries on things you don’t want to do, there are times when doing something unpleasant is the right things to do, even […]

Why I Don’t Like E-Cards

I used to send out lots of cards over the holiday season. Yes, it costs a bit for postage and also takes time to address each card and write a message. But it was also nice to send people good […]

10 Reasons to Love Yourself

With the holiday season upon us, everyone is out looking for gifts to give others. Yet it’s also important to consider the gifts you can give YOU. The greatest give you can give yourself is yourself—filled with self-love. Unfortunately, many […]

Becoming More Innovative

I’m delighted to have innovation expert Jeff DeGraff as my guest today. Jeff is an innovation professor at the Ross School of Business, the founder of Innovatrium Institute of Innovation, and co-creator of Competing Values Framework. In his new book, […]

Do Unto Yourself as You Do Unto Others

I was taught it’s nice to please people. And it is, as long as you don’t sacrifice your own needs to do it, as many of us do. Putting more into pleasing others than you do to please yourself is […]

I Challenge You to Love Yourself!

January is Self-Love Month. Last year I began the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge to begin the year on a loving note. It’s a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the first 31 days of the year. But […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Writing Exercise #3

This is post 164 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Give Yourself Permission to Be Down—Sometimes

I’ve always been an upbeat person and known for my smile. As a child, people liked me more because of it so even when I had nothing to smile about, my mouth automatically curved up. Even when I grew up […]

Finding Your Purpose with Dr. Mark Chironna

I’m delighted to have Dr. Mark Chironna, certified life coach, author, and spiritual director as my guest today. Dr. Chironna’s authentic and compassionate approach to purposeful, destiny-infused living has transformed lives everywhere through one-on-one mentoring, speaking engagements, print and electronic […]

Other People’s Anger

I’ve talked a lot about calming your anger, but what about fielding the wrath of others? Today I heard from someone asking me about a situation that is sadly all too common—the wrath of someone else that seems irrational, which […]

Richard Simmons & the Power of Self-Love—Part 2

Yesterday I had Part 1 of my interview with the amazing Richard Simmons where he told how he went from a very overweight kid to being at the top of his game and leading so many people down a healthy […]

Richard Simmons & the Power of Self-Love—Part 1

Recently I saw Richard Simmons on several TV talk shows. I’ve always thought of him as a fun guy with lots of hair in little shorts and HUGE enthusiasm about leading and encouraging people to exercise and live a healthy […]

‘Tis the Season for Self-Love

The holidays are coming. Winter is in the air. Soon there will be decorations going up. My neighborhood dresses up in wonderful ways, which takes the edge off of cold weather. But many people begin to feel down during this […]

Do Something NOW!

A good way to give yourself a quick dose of self-empowerment is to do something you’ve been putting off. Things often pile up in my apartment. I get so immersed in my writing that I don’t make time to sort […]

The Happiness “Drug”

I always encourage people to do what they can to find real happiness. I don’t mean the kind that comes from making a purchase and feels good until you find the next item that will make you happy. I’m talking […]

Save Calories & Sweeten Lives

Every year at Halloween time I hear women “complaining” about all the candy they’ll eat. It’s a good excuse to buy all the decadent sweets you love so you can pig out on the leftovers. I used to do it […]

Stop Lamenting Problems!

Everyone has problems. Everyone! You may think it’s just you but we all have stuff go wrong or in ways we don’t like. I do. Recently I had to move my websites to a different server and it messed on […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Aligning with Your Desires

This is post 158 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Question: How Can I Stop Having To Work Extra Days?

Helena wrote that her boss knows she works faster than the other people in her department and lately has been putting her on the spot to work overtime after work, and on weekends. While she does get paid for the […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Tap into Vibrant Health with Brad Yates

In June I had a week-long series on how to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as Tapping to benefit all areas of your life. It included an interview with Margaret M. Lynch, a Success Coach, speaker and recognized […]

Creating Space for You

I’m happy to have Coach Paula Eder, Ph.D., as my guest today. Known as The Time Finder Expert, she has 35 years of success helping individuals, small businesses, and solopreneurs align their time choices with their life goals and core […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Lift Up Your Expectations!

This is post 157 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Does Fear Control You?

Fear can be stronger than glue in keeping you stuck in many ways. Most DoorMats please everyone because they’re scared of not getting approval. Fear of loneliness also motivates staying a DoorMat. Fear kept me stuck in DoorMatville for many […]

Class Reunion

I was invited to a school reunion and thought it would be fun to attend. High school was a happy time for me. I had loads of friends and was involved in many activities. So I went and it was […]

Fix Yourself

I have a friend who had been very overweight and after years and went to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) for help. With lots of faith and support from her sponsor, she lost over 100 pounds, and kept it off. Now she’s […]

Guarding Your Time

“Do you have a few minutes for me to pick your brain?” “I’ll be visiting NY and would like to meet you for a cup of coffee to ask you some questions.” I hear this all the time from fans […]

Make the Journey Your Goal

I do believe in setting goals. They help guide you to achieving what you’d like. Having them can keep you focused. But too often we make the end results the only thing that matters. That limits your pleasure and discounts […]

Putting Criticism into Perspective

No matter what you do, it seems like there’s always someone ready to find fault. Whether it’s a colleague, parent, friend, romantic partner, neighbor or boss, it’s not unusual to experience someone who thinks you could have: •    Done it […]

Adopting an Eastern Perspective

I’m happy to have Laura M. Turner back as my guest today. She’s a 15-year veteran fitness instructor, fitness trainer, journalist, author and natural health practitioner as my guest today. She hosts beauty & body online, a website dedicated to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I’m Afraid of Getting Older.”

This is post 154 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! Am I sad? No! Lamenting it? Heck no! Feeling bad about another year on my age? No way! Today I’m celebrating me all day long! People as young as twenties begin to tick off their days […]

It’s Never Too Late

I often meet people who feel beyond stuck. When you’re stuck you can at least try to get unstuck. These people see themselves as permanently fixed in how their lives are going and what they’re doing. Some have been trying […]

New Beginnings

I’ve always considered September the month of new beginnings and know others do too. After the heat of summer, September tends to bring in the cooler temps of fall and it feels different. Summer can create lethargy on many levels. […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Listen to Uplifting Music

Consciously make sure you have music you enjoy playing whenever you can. Music can definitely life the soul. Make sure it’s music that makes you feel good, not creates a negative mood. Years ago, when I’d break up with a […]

Timing Your Dreams

I’m delighted to have Laura Vanderkam as my guest today.  She’s the author of several books, including 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think and writes the blog, http://www.my168hours.com/blog. She puts a new spin on your perspective of […]

Why Nothing Should Be Taken for Granted, Including YOU!

People, especially DoorMats, often lament about feeling like many people take them for granted. They blame it on others. The truth is, any time you feel taken for granted, you’re allowing yourself to be a victim, which makes you feel […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Take an Hour of Solitude

We all have something we enjoy doing on our own. It can be reading a book, taking a bath, meditating, having a cup of coffee or tea, or a glass of wine in silence, take a walk, or a million […]

Happiness Right Now

I’m delighted to have Gina Lake  as my guest today. Gina is a spiritual teacher who is devoted to helping others awaken and live in the moment through her many books, online courses, and intensives. She is also a gifted […]

Question: How do I handle the people who are draining me at a 12-step program?

A reader said she’s in a 12-Step Program. She went through the program when her husband died and is now doing very well. It’s expected that she will give back for what was given to her and she’s fine with […]

Are You Prepared to Walk Away from What Bothers You?

You’re dying to stand up for yourself or ask for what you know you deserve. You work harder than anyone else yet haven’t asked a raise. Your romantic partner does unacceptable things but you haven’t had the nerve to address […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Losing Weight

This is post 149 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Make Your Smile Happy

Do you assume that smiling means you’re happy? Think again! Often a smile is covering up unhappiness. Many people pleasers are brought up told they should smile as much as possible since it makes you seem more agreeable. I was […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Be Greedy!

This is post 148 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Emotional Band-Aids

Everyone has experienced some hurts in their lives. It just happens. But many of us feel hurt as a lifestyle, though we may not recognize it. When I was a DoorMat, I pleased everyone to try to offset my insecurity […]

Mustering Empathy

People can be annoying. NO doubt about it! But I do believe that even when someone does something you know they did purposely against you, there’s a reason, and it’s probably not you. Our behavior often reflects emotions that we’ve […]

Why People Run When Life is Good

Have you ever gotten close to someone, whether for romance or just friendship, and everything was going along perfectly when they disappeared? It’s happened to me several times. Women especially complain about this phenomenon in relationship to a guy they […]

Staying Strong When It Hurts to Take a Stand

Letting go of old habits and people can be painful but it’s often necessary when you’re moving forward to leave DoorMatville and empower yourself. After my post on Monday, Baby Steppin’ to Bigger Success, a reader commented that she’s working […]

People Withdrawal

On Tuesday I had a Law of Attraction in Action post on Friendship and how we attract the kinds of people we accept as friends. Here I tell you how I changed the message I sent to attract better friends. […]

Unconditional Love

Today I’m thrilled to have Harold W. Becker as my guest today. His consulting company, Internal Insights, was formed in 1990 to “empower people through self awareness and unconditional love.”  In 2000 he founded The Love Foundation, Inc., an internationally […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Friendship

This is post 145 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Baby Steppin’ to Bigger Success

It’s natural to want whatever you do to take off like wildfire. When I have a book published, I want to sell a million copies immediately. People complain about how they began a blog and don’t have huge numbers reading […]

Interview with Jeffrey M. Reitzel

When I was recently at Book Expo America, I met Jeffrey M. Reitzel, author of The Millionaire Father and was blown away by his passion for helping men to find their way to being good fathers. He also encourages people […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Take a Time Out

When we’re kids, having a time out happens when we do something an adult doesn’t like or when our emotions get out of control. It’s meant as a way to break the triggers for behavior that’s unacceptable. As adults, a […]

Drop Grudges!

There’s an outdoor place I often go to write that I love when the when the weather is nice. I’m friendly with the guys who work there. One day 2 summers ago, Sam began to close off my favorite spot […]

Deprive Yourself When It Counts!

The title of this post may sound contradictory to what I usually say, since I encourage splurges as acts of self-love. But another factor of loving yourself is knowing when not to have something unhealthy or fattening. I thought about […]

Happiness with Erica Nelson

I’m delighted to have Erica Nelson, author and happiness coach, with a wonderful tip from her book, Happiness Quotations: Gentle Reminders of Your Preciousness. Happiness Quotation #98 Asks You To Glow Like Rudolph By Erica M Nelson Let’s say you […]

Question: Why Does My Daughter Say I Like To Be Treated Poorly?

A reader asked in a comment, how could her daughter say she liked being treated like crap? She and her brother use it as an excuse to treat Mom poorly and she wants to change it. How could they say […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Fueling the Law of Attraction with EFT

This is post 143 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Emotional Freedom Technique Introduction

I’m very excited to share a great energy practice with you. It called EFT, which stands for Emotional freedom Technique. It’s also referred to as Tapping because you tap on a variety of points to release the energy causing problems […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Make Time to Read

I LOVE to read! When I was younger I read books voraciously, at least 2-3 a week. Yet in the last few years, I haven’t read much. I’ve been reading Eat, Pray, Love for many months, and I LOVE the […]

Need vs. Love

Divorce rates are higher than ever. Many people get married fast these days. Celebrities lead the pack, making high profile quickie marriages seem like the norm. But it isn’t, or at least it shouldn’t be in most cases. Celebs like […]

Paper Your Fears

We all have fear sometimes, some of us more than others. Since life can be unpredictable, things come up that you don’t expect and can create anxiety. Even with all my faith I still occasionally get scared, especially by situations […]

Take Charge of You Own Personal Alchemy

I’m delighted to have Laura M. Turner, a 15-year veteran fitness instructor, fitness trainer, journalist, author and natural health practitioner as my guest today. She hosts beauty & body online, a website dedicated to inspiring all to stay healthy, disease […]

Labels for Yourself

You are what you think. I hear people use some awful names to refer to themselves or during self-talk. Years ago, I thought of myself as knucklehead. I’d call me knucklehead when I thought about something I’d said or done. […]

Do You Love or Hate Your Scale?

When I was in elementary school, every year I faced the dreaded day we’d be herded into the gym, lined up, and one by one put on a scale. The dreaded part was when the teacher called out our weight, […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Make A Conscious Effort To Get A Good Night’s Sleep!

I’m amazed by how many people scoff off the idea of getting a good night’s sleep. The say they don’t have time. Five hours is enough. But it really isn’t. While people get used to functioning on little sleep, it […]

Listen to Oprah & Be Happier!

Oprah Winfrey’s last show aired this week. It feels like forever that Oprah has been teaching us wonderful lessons about how to live our lives fully, and paths to develop real happiness. I was honored to do a whole hour […]

Interview with Kelly White

I’m delighted to have Kelly White as my guest today. As a non-profit executive, Kelly has spent over 25 years leading and growing community-based, non-profit corporations; including a decade as the executive director of SafePlace, the domestic violence and sexual […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Relax If You Don’t Do a Chore

I’ve heard people getting all upset because they didn’t do laundry or another chore if they ended up staying out having fun. I do recommend doing chores as an act of self-love, like I did in my post “I Love […]

Question: Why Do I Feel Inadequate at Work?

I recently wrote about The Imposter Syndrome, Gia wrote to ask me why she didn’t feel like she belonged in her job, like she was hiding her lack of credentials for doing the work she does, and does well. Everyone […]

Will the World End Tomorrow?

I’ve lived through several warnings about the world ending and heard stories of people selling their homes, spending their money and then being in bad shape when life went on. It seems people need an excuse to enjoy their lives. […]

“I Love Me!” Tip: Clean Out ONE Cluttered Drawer

I’ve always found that cleaning can empower you. It gives you control over your environment and yourself for doing it. Often making changes can seem difficult, and it’s hard to get started. That’s why I advocate taking baby steps for […]

Don’t Waste Your Life!

Yesterday I posted an interview with Rita Cosby, an award-winning journalist who wrote the amazing book, Quiet Hero, the story her dad’s harrowing journey as a member of the Polish Resistance during WWII and how she connected to him after […]

People Pleasing Habits

I hear from many people who say they live in DoorMatville like I did years ago. They very much want to leave and become an empowered person but struggle trying to do it. I want to reassure you that if […]

What’s Your Story?

When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic “Great!” Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself “Great!” While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I […]

Stress Relief

Today I have author Michael David Lawrience as my guest for day 4 of his Virtual Blog Tour for his book, Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain. It will be available on Amazon toward the […]

“I Love Me!” Tip: Splurge Calories on a Goodie—Guilt-Free

Guilt can ruin the pleasure of eating something yummy. Many of us are in a perpetual cycle of watching our weight. I try to be careful not to gain much. But the pursuit of a slimmer body can cloud our […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Why Can’t I Make Myself Happy?

This is post 137in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action […]

10 Tips for Effective Asking

On Monday I discussed why so many of us have a hard time asking for what we need. Tuesday I discussed how the Law of Attraction can help you with Asking for Support. Now I’ll give you tools for getting […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Write a Script to Help You Ask

Since I’m focusing on learning to ask for what you need, here’s a practice I found helps me to ask. How does this relate to self-love? Asking for what you wants is an act of self-love. When you ask and […]

Question: Why do I have such a hard time asking for help?

I hear this question all the time. It’s tough for many of us to ask for favors or help or anything else we need. I hear it from both men and women, and people of all ages. You don’t have […]

Finding the Empowered Person in YOU

I was unhappy for many years as I struggled to come up for air in the midst of people pleasing. I felt like I was lost, even though I knew how to get to the place I lived. But I […]

“I love me” tip: Throw Yourself a Kiss

Do you kiss the people you love? I always do. I greet friends and family with a kiss and of course I kiss a boyfriend a lot. Kisses express caring and love. They feel good to the one you’re kissing. […]

Upgrading Your Expectations of People

Expectations can take on a fantasy-like quality when they’re based on perfection. People pleasers try to be perfect for others and expect to receive back in the same perfect way. But they learn over and over that people don’t work […]

Enjoy Being Happy

I meet many people who make tons of money. They have enough to do whatever they’d like and almost automatically buy lots of expensive things. But, they’re so busy trying to make more money that they don’t make real time […]

Try Try!

I was recently at a playground with a toddler. Most of the kids were older. As he watched older boys going on the bigger swing with no safety bars, he he wanted to go on it too. I told him […]

You Can’t Fix Anyone But You

I was watching a TV talk show and a woman in a bad relationship went on and on about how she read every book she could to learn how to fix her guy and she was frustrated that he hadn’t […]

Finding Your Happy

What makes you happy? I mean really happy, the kind that keeps you content through life’s ups and downs. I used to think that when I had more money to buy the stuff I wanted I’d be happy. But when […]

“I love me” Tip: Affirm That You Deserve Good

When I was a DoorMat, I had no self-love and never even considered that I deserved anything better than what I had. People told me I did. So did self-help books. But I knew until I told that to me […]

“Thank YOU Self!”

I often promote gratitude. It’s a great way to feel good and helps you attract more goodies. Now it’s time to turn that onto YOU. It’s so easy to take yourself for granted or lose your perspective if you’re busy […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Clear Your Sink Every Day

This tip may seem odd to you. How can clearing your sink every day say, “I love me”? It might not for everyone but many of us haven’t been in the habit of washing dishes in a timely fashion and […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank ...

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to ...

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks ...

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to ...

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when ...

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »

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