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Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Self-Love & Acceptance Archives

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers

George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser who catered to others, with little reciprocation. […]

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You Can’t Buy Love

Love isn’t a product, like shoes, or lemons. Yet people pleasers try to buy it with favors and being agreeable. I did whewn I was a DoorMat! And like many women, I was under the erroneous belief that if I […]

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Law of Attraction in Action: Delegating Responsibility

This is post 287 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

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Get Rid of Your “Not Good Enoughs”

When I was a DoorMat, I let people walk all over me. I jumped to do favors for everyone. I agreed to do what other people wanted to do. Other people ran my life for me. All because I believed […]

Own Your Future

I had a dream about going to Banff in Canada and Montana since I was a teen and a cousin went on an adventure there. He showed me his pictures and they blew me away. I had to go too! […]

Do You Lie to Yourself?

You know it’s not good to lie yet often we lie to ourselves. That might sound ridiculous but we do. Some people may see it as deluding yourself but when you tell yourself something that you know isn’t true, it’s […]

Rewriting Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I borrowed it for the title of the book I’m giving away through The Self-Love Movement™—How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. […]

Are You a Needy People Magnet?

Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did […]

Overcoming Obstacles–interview with Jenn London

Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter and a self-love ambassaador for The Self-Love Movement™. She’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of her life, from  childhood obesity to immense family tragedy. Her […]

Give Yourself Permission to Express Yourself

I encounter many people who share that they’re scared to express how they feel to friends, family, work colleagues, etc. Some don’t know why they’re scared. Not knowing what the results might be can cause the greatest fear. Fear of […]

10 Tips for Getting Comfortable with Saying “NO!”

I was recently at a motivational event. The speaker asked people in the audience to share something special they’d done. One woman said she began to say “no” occasionally. Everyone applauded this feat. Women are known for being overly agreeable. […]

Imperfectly Pleasing

DoorMats go out of their way to please everyone, trying to be a perfect people pleaser. That’s what I did when I lived in DoorMatville. I was always trying to be the perfect little pleaser to insure that everyone would […]

Who Have You Made God?

A woman recently told me with pride how after reading my book, All Men Are Jerks until Proven Otherwise, she was able to leave Jack, her boyfriend who she had put up on a pedestal as imperative to be with. […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Selfishness

This is post 276 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

My Little Teapot

Years ago I did a driving trip in Canada solo and stayed mainly in Bed & Breakfasts. A special part of my day was coming home after hiking and other outdoor activities, relaxing in the parlor and being offered a […]

Do You Need Everyone to Like You?

I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. So did my friends. Did you? It’s a common belief, especially for girls. And wanting this is what turns us into DoorMats/people pleasers. When I was on Oprah, […]

Taking care of #1

When I was a DoorMat I eventually got tired of feeling like I was last in line to get my needs met so I ben to put my own needs first when people asked for favors.  Needless to say, it […]

A Message from Archangel Michael

I’m delighted to have my friend and Self-Love Ambassador,  Dr. Joy S. Pedersen, CEO and Founder of Express Success,, as my guest today. She’s a Licensed Spiritual Healer and Certified Spiritual Health Coach and Doctor of Divinity, who channels God, […]

“Could” vs. “Should”

Recently I got free tickets to a show at the last minute and called a friend who I thought would enjoy it to invite her to join me.  At first she was excited but then she said she “should” stay […]

Learn to Trust Yourself

Trust is an important quality that we look for in others. It can be hard to trust if someone you trusted has betrayed you, or lied, or not done what they promised. But the one person you can count on […]

Doing Good vs. You

Sometimes you have to make a choice between what’s best for someone else and what’s best for you. You may want to do what you see as ”the right” thing for someone even if it goes against what you’d like. […]

Be Your Own Valentine Today!

I was just talking to a guy about Valentine’s Day and was surprised when he said he dreaded February 14th. There was no special woman in his life and he and his buddies would probably drown their sorrows about not […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Beliefs about Meeting a Romantic Partner

This is post 271 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

People Pleasing Anger

DoorMats/people pleasers often have a lot of reasons to be that way, most based on circumstances they bring on themselves. Pleasing everyone is a choice, not an obligation. But it’s common to get angry about the repercussions from it , […]

Self-Love & Forgiveness

Self-Love Month is over but I’ll continue posting abot sel-love.you should still be working on nourishing yours. Carrying anger around with you hurts you, which isn’t loving. The antidote is forgiveness. Today my guest is Self-Love Ambassador Alice McCall  In […]

31 Days of Self-Love 2014

Self-Love Month is over  but the love shouldn’t be!  it’s important to not forget the importance of giving yourself love as much as you can. If you haven’t already done do, I highly recommend you read my free book, How […]

Dreams Do Come True!: New Self-Love Video

It’s fun to dream, but not when you never see any results. It can get frustrating to want something you dream about and feel like it’s out of your reach. I’ve had many dreams that never materialized. Years ago, after […]

Do Unto Yourself as You Do for Others

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Most of us know the Golden Rule about how to treat others—Do unto […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Giving Your Talents Away for Free

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 269 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Create a Self-Esteem Checklist

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Often your self-esteem is hurt by thinking about things you can’t do or […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2014 part 3

Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some […]

I Love Me” Tip: List “Why I Deserve the Best.”

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Do you think you deserve the best? It’s common to have some niggling […]

Start an Inner Revolution

Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I say it often: In order to be happy, you have to work […]

Show Yourself Love with T’ai Chi

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I love energy work! T’ai chi has always fascinated me with its gentle […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Find Mental Mentors

Today is Day 22 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. If your confidence for doing something is low, find what I call mental […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Tapping for Better Self-Esteem

Today is Day 21 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™ This is post 268 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Why It’s Fun to Be Perfectly Imperfect

Today is Day 20 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Perfection. So many of us are taught that we should strive for that […]

What Do You Say When You Look at Yourself in the Mirror?

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. When I met cancer survivor an Self-Love Ambassador Cathy Hamilton, I was struck […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Finish One Thing

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. We often have little chores that we put off doing and not doing […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2014

    Today is Day 16 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I am worthy!”

Today is Day 14 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 267 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Love Your Tummy

Today is Day 13 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I weigh a bit less now than I have in over 20 years. […]

Is Falling in Love Always Good?

Today is Day 12 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Most people look forward to falling in love. But there are times when […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Love Your Heart

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and […]

Who Matters the Most?

Today is Day 10 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™.   Who matters the most to you? Be honest! There’s only one good […]

How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros 2014

Today is Day 9 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Say Kind, Reassuring Words to Yourself

Today is Day 8 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It’s so easy to put ourselves down, I talked about in my post […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Limits

Today is Day 7 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 266 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Are You a Bully—to Yourself?

Today is Day 6 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. If anyone ever accused me of being a bully I’d immediately refute it. […]

Why You Should Improve Your Posture

Today is Day 5 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I’ve always advised that practicing good posture is a confidence booster but recently […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Use Heat or Cold to Soothe Yourself

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. You can feel better by changing the temperature of things you use. In […]

Why Self-Acceptance Is the Most Delicious Dish

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. When you don’t accept yourself, it’s hard to love yourself. Seeing yourself through […]

From Thinking I Was a Piece of Crap to Loving Me

Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™ Someone had to drag me to a mirror and make me really look […]

Happy 2014!

    Today is Day 1of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It’s a new year!! It’s also the start of Self-Love Month! If […]

Turn Regrets into Gratitude

Every decision you have made, for better or worse, has led to who you are today, hopefully a person who is wiser, stronger and more evolved than yesterday. ??It’s easy to feel ashamed of things you did years ago. We […]

What You Don’t Need

At the end of every year, I clean and get rid of everything I can to make room for more good stuff. The first time I did it, was hard. As I looked at all my stuff, how could I […]

Healing After Abuse

Sadly, there are many victims of abuse. And even if it stops, they’re is still victims unless they find a way to heal, which can be hard. Many of my clients who come to me for help in learning to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Holiday Hecticness

This is post 265 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Giving Presents vs. Presence

This is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved […]

9 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life

People seem to think that New Year can automatically bring change. We make resolutions like wishes with hope that the New Year wish fairy will make it happen. But then the year progresses and you’re disappointed that nothing good has […]

Deflecting Word Darts

Some folks can be mean, especially if they think you’re an easy target. People may say things to make you feel bad when they’re angry, or don’t like you, or are jealous, or, aren’t happy with their own lives. Their […]

Why Self-Absorption Isn’t Loving or Empowering

There’s a fine line between self-love/wanting to be an empowered person and self-absorption. It’s easy to get lost in new-found self-awareness and overcompensate with too much self-indulgence or act like no one else matters, which is unhealthy for friendship, whether […]

Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle

When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we’re DoorMats and don’t want to start trouble. […]

Pride vs. Being Full of Yourself

Self-appreciation is a good quality.  It helps you build pride in yourself. I often recommend writing a list of all your good qualities and owning them to help build self-love. But self-appreciation and having strong pride doesn’t mean being full […]

Surviving Holiday Madness

Does the holiday season overwhelm you? On Monday I posted Calming Those Feeling of Being Overwhelmed. Now with the holiday season is in full swing, it can take busy to another level. So I’m happy to have Laura Vanderkam, author […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Pride

This is post 262 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Calming Those Feelings of Being Overwhelmed

We all go through those periods where it feels like life is dumping on you too much and you feel as if you’re drowning in things you need to do. It might even be good things, opportunities to advance your […]

How Is My Today?”

We all have a limited amount of days, yet people tend to take them for granted. When today is over it’s gone forever. Every day is worth getting excited about by making it special. If you really want to enjoy […]

Emotional Bondage

Some people thrive on drama. It almost feels like they create situations that feed negative emotions. I used to look for reasons to feel taken for granted or used when I was a DoorMat. For some reason I needed to […]

Start 2014 with a Commitment to YOU

Soon 2014 will be here. January can be a dreary month, depending on where you live. Yet most of us like the idea of starting the year on a positive note. That can be hard if your resolutions seem daunting […]

Describe Yourself

How would you describe yourself? Are you positive? Apologetic? Defensive about who you are? How you speak of yourself reflects self-image. If you speak in a less than positive manner, it’s harder to feel totally positive. Change your life by […]

Can There Be Beauty in Sorrow?

Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter who I’ve know for many years as an upbeat go-getter. Yet reading her memoir showed me how well she’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of […]

Do You Let People Know What They Mean to You?

As my parents got older, I made a point to let them know how much they meant to me. I rarely ended a phone call without saying, “I love you.” It meant a lot to them, and to me. When […]

Are You Putting a Dark Shadow Over Your Life?

Some people seem to thrive on worrying. It can seem as if they look for things to worry about. Are you one of those? Constant worrying is a happiness buster. It creates stress, which is detrimental to your health and […]

Watching Out for Psychological Abuse

I had a client who was both physically and mentally abused. She was beaten from childhood by her father and then by her first husband, throughout her marriage. Her second husband verbally abused her for a few years but she […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Seeing the Good in Others

This is post 258 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Why Pleasure Does Not Equal Happiness

Do you think that having lots experiences of pleasure will make you happy? That’s an erroneous belief that gets people into trouble. Often when I ask clients if they’re happy, and why, those who say they are tell me about […]

Affirming Boundaries

I know how hard it can be to say ‘No” after you’ve been a people pleaser for years and people expect an automatic “Yes” to favors from you. But it’s also exhilarating to say it and know that you’re off […]

Physicians Tips To Prevent And Correct Signs of Aging

Most of us want to age well. I love looking much younger than my age. I credit it to what I put inside me, in terms of getting the vitamins for my body. Taking good care of yourself is a […]

Be the Master of You Fate and Captain of your Soul

Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance ?I have not winced […]

Make a Date with Your Soul

In you fast-paced world it can be hard to slow on and tune ino you. Today my guest is Noelle M. Meade-Izzi is the author of “The Hummingbird That Answered My Heart’s Calling,” a full-color photo-book that tells the story […]

Who You Are vs. Who You’re “Supposed To Be”

Who are you striving to be? Following in the footsteps of a family member or creating your own footprints. I encounter too many unhappy people who are trying to be what they think they’re “supposed to be” and feel negative […]

Have You Ever Watched the Sun Rise?

 Some people drink alcohol or take medication to calm down. Those may temporarily give you relief from symptoms, but when the effect wear off you can feel worse than before. That’s what contributes to people becoming alcoholics or hooked on […]

Losing Yourself in Diets

Dieting seems to be a national pastime. Even skinny people tend to explain the extra pound they must lose. Do you think that models who look beautiful and starve themselves to maintain standards set by an industry are happy? Seeing […]

Strengthening Your Spirit with Happiness After a Cancer Diagnosis

Most people know at least someone who has cancer or have had it. It can bring you down in spirit. When I met cancer survivor Cathy Hamilton, I was struck by her positive attitude about getting through a cancer diagnosis. […]

Birthday Joy

I recently overheard two women discussing the upcoming birthday of one of them. The tone was somber, commiserating, reigned, somewhat sad, somewhat fearful. In my opinion, that not how birthdays should make you feel! These women acted like a birthday […]

The Abundance of Being Open-Minded

I had a client I’ll call Sara who recently who complained about not being able to meet a good man, When I asked what she wanted in one she emphatically explained that he had to be a creative type. Being […]

What Direction Does Your Give & Take Go In?

I’ve never liked one-way streets. When I’m trying to get somewhere, especially in an area I’m not familiar with, it’s frustrating to try to navigate streets that aren’t going in the direction I want to go in.. Anything going just […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I Don’t Need Anything”

This is post 250 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Spiritual vs. People Pleaser

Were you brought up with strong religious/ or spiritual values or developed some in more recent years. If you believe that it’s spiritual to try to be kind to everyone you can get baffled about how to handle feeling used […]

You Know You’re Happy Because…….

Can you actually say that you’re happy? Saying “yes” to that question seems to be more automatic than heartfelt to most people. It’s like we think that we’re “supposed to be” happy and don’t want to look bad for answering […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Trying to Run from Problems

This is post 248 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Speaking Up for Your Personal Freedom

As a young girl I was advised to try to be as agreeable as possible with everyone. That would help people see me as a good girl—a nice girl who they liked because she didn’t cause problems. That helped me […]

Relying on Others

Some people interpret self-empowerment to mean being totally independent by taking care of yourself and your needs on your own—not relying on anyone; doing everything for yourself. When I first declared my independence from depending on people for my happiness, […]

How Gratitude Can Be a Power Tool for a Better Life

I wwrite a lot about rhe impotance of having gratitude in your life. I even run a Conscious Gratitude group on Yahoo, where people can post what they’re grateful for every day and read what others are grateful for. Regularly […]

“Am I an Idiot for Making a Mistake?”

We use many negative phrases when we make a mistake. Do you relate to using any of these? •    “That was so stupid of me.” •    “I’m a moron/idiot.” •    “What’s wrong with me that I couldn’t get it right?” […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Regrets

This is post 246 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Living with Regrets

Do memories of things you did or didn’t do lead to self-recrimination? Do you wish you’d done things differently? All those things that you did or didn’t do in the PAST can haunt you today. I emphasized PAST because they […]

You in 3 Words

I recently talked to a woman who was writing an interesting book. She was going crazy trying to find a title for it. As she described it I told her that it sounded like Eat, Pray, Love for parents. She […]

Be Your Best You Today

When you’re not happy, you look to the future to begin to  feel good about yourself and who you are. But why wait? Chances are if you can’t make right now work, the future may not get any better. If […]

Taming Your Inner Nasty

If you read my columns regularly, you know I encourage building self-love. Yet so many people who think they’re being loving to themselves still allow their inner critic to come out regularly. I still remember the days—painfully—when I found more […]

Is the Grass Really Greener Where You’re Not?

Do you look at people with envy? Do you think that others have it better than you? I feel like I hear people say all the time that they’re sure other people have better lives, better relationships, better jobs, etc. […]

Replace Regret with Finding Blessings

Most of us have some regrets. Maybe you did something that you wish you didn’t do. Or you spent years involved with the wrong person. Or you didn’t go after a job you wish you had. And a million other […]

How to Heal a Broken Heart and Let Love In

Have you ever had a broken heart? I have. And it doesn’t feel good. The energy from it can create a block that keeps you from loving finding more love. So I’m happy to have Bradley Nelson, D.C., one of […]

James Gandolfini Passing at 51 & Your Mortality

When I heard that James Gandolfini had died suddenly of a heart attack, my first thought was, “He was only 51!” Ouch! As we get older it’s harder to hear about people dying young, and these days, 51 is young. […]

Question: What Can I Do with a Friend Who’s Nice and Hurtful

A reader who I’ll refer to as P. wrote to ask why people think they can treat you nice one minute and then become hurtful. Her friend picks on her unfairly, calling her stupid and other names. She hurls insults […]

17 Ways to Empower Yourself

No one is born feeling self-empowered. Confidence is learned. EVERYONE has fears and insecurities. But, some create a confident façade. Attractive people at the top of their game share fears and self-loathing at my workshops or during counseling. Nobody feels […]

Why Hypothyroidism is a ‘Silent Epidemic’ of Misdiagnosis

Years ago I told two different doctors that I believed something was wrong with my thyroid. I noticed I had symptoms of hypothyroidism. Each pooh-poohed me, saying my numbers were fine. But they weren’t. I finally went to an endocrinologist […]

Be Happy for No Reason

Do you need a reason to be happy? Do you look to other people or what you can have to be happy. Do you count on having a romantic partner to do it for you? When I was a DoorMat, […]

How Motivation Can Get You Far

Often we don’t realize how much we’re capable of doing. When I suggest to someone that they should make the effort to do what they want, I often hear, “I can’t.” Sometimes you need someone to motivate you to push […]

Why Do You Want to Lose Weight?

I write a lot about the benefits of gratitude but never thought of it in relation to helping lose weight. That’s why I’m thrilled to have Pat Barone as my guest today. Pat has defied all the odds life stacked […]

Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away

Often we take something on and feel obligated to finish. Or, we set a goal that feels daunting but believe it’s what we’re supposed to do. That can create a lot of stress, which makes it hard to embrace what […]

How to Receive a Compliment

How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment? Do you say something to negate it? Many of us do. For years getting compliments was almost painful because I didn’t think I deserved them or I was afraid owning […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Being Cheap with Yourself

This is post 235 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Who Is Your Body Image Role Model?

When I interviewed a woman who had been a model she said that the worst feeling was being a model, thinking she had a good body and then having her photos airbrushed to make her look slimmer and more perfect. […]

Are You Too Perfect for Love?

Too many of us strive for perfection, which is not loving to yourself. And it can keep you from letting love in. Today’s guest is Ann Smith is the Executive Director of Breakthrough at Caron. Her updated book, Overcoming Perfectionism: […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Being Cheap with Friends

This is post 234 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Weeding Out People Who Don’t Earn Your Trust

I don’t take friendship lightly. I know lots of people, but choose to have few real friends. That’s because my high values for a true friend limit who I completely trust. Most people don’t qualify and that’s okay, because the […]

Are You A Doormat? Take the People Pleaser Quiz

Are you confused about whether or not you’re so much of a people pleaser that you’ve reached DoorMat level, or you’ve convinced yourself you’re just a nice person? Below is a quiz listing things you may do but don’t feel […]

Outsmart Stress!

In honor of April being Stress Awareness month, HeartMath, a recognized authority on stress has shared some tips or lowering stress. Their clinical studies have demonstrated the critical link between emotions, heart function and cognitive performance. Its stress reducing solutions […]

Freeing Your Inner “No”

Most of us have a hard time saying “no”, at least sometimes.  Since most of want to seem like being a “nice” person, it’s often assumed that saying “no” to someone who needs you isn’t “nice.” But that’s not true! […]

Fighting Evil with Good

Many of us feel helpless after the tragedy at the Boston Marathon. Living in NYC there’s an extra feeling of vulnerability around me. When you’ve seen innocent people caught up in an unexpected bomb exploding, it can make you paranoid, […]

Do You Know If You’re Healthy?

I’ve been posting articles lately relate to good health, since in my opinion, being healthy is a cornerstone for a happy life and a great act of self-love. Today my guest is Matt Mumber, MD who is an oncologist who […]

Prayers for Boston

As someone who lives in NYC and watched the smoke on 9/11 rise south of my windows, I’m horrified and saddened by the senseless bombs that exploded during the Boston Marathon. My heart goes out to the people who were […]

Removing The Rose Colored Glasses

How nice are you? Are you so nice that you have negative emotions toward people who don’t appreciate you the way you feel you should be appreciated? Do you really think that it’s nice to feel that way for being […]

If Not Now—When?

Did the resolutions you made last year fail to become true? It’s easy to decide what you want but much harder to get yourself to do what’s necessary. I’ve been through this too. I’ve had some dreams for years and […]

Make a “Not To Do” List

I make a lot of “To Do” lists. They help to keep me on track for doing what I need to do. But recently, I thought about all the things that I did in my DoorMat days that I didn’t […]

How Crazy Are You?

When you think of the word crazy, it probably seems more like a negative adjective. Yet I think it can often be a positive trait to have, in moderation. When I was a DoorMat, I tried to be as un-crazy […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Accepting Today

This is post 227 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Be YOU

It might sound funny to say “Be you,” but, many people try to be someone they’re really not. Your parent may push you in a direction you don’t like but you want to be obedient so you go. The media […]

Stop the Fat Police

I rarely meet someone who is completely happy with his or her body. With the media setting higher and higher standards for perfection as celebrities get more procedures to improve their bodies, it’s harder to feel satisfied with what we […]

Self-Defense and Self-Love

Finding ways to protect yourself is an act of self love. Many years ago I took a series of self-defense classes and still remember the main moved I learned. It has truly help me feel more powerful. That’s why I’m […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Deserving

This is post 226 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Tips for Lovingly Reconnect with Your Body

A negative body image is on of the biggest self-love and self-esteem busters. It’s so easy to tell you to begin to love your body yet so hard to do. Erena DiGonis, LMSW, CHC, a licensed psychotherapist and certified health […]

Trust Your Gut

Have you felt that something wasn’t quite right, but ignored it? Or pushed away doubt? Intuition warns and guides you, when you let it. But you must let it! The subconscious notices what your consciousness doesn’t. If something doesn’t feel […]

Empower Yourself by Being Funny

It’s said that laughter is the best medicine. Yet many of us don’t have enough in our lives. And having a good sense of humor is considered an very attractive quality in both sexes. That’s why I’m happy to have […]

Do You Feel Inadequate?

In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement™ to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I’d found the right one. […]

Does Loving Yourself Seem Selfish?

I’m delighted to have Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., America’s thought-leader on relationships, as my guest today. Each week on CNN, she breaks down the psychology of sex, love, gender roles, divorce, parenting and other human behaviors. A former co-host of “The […]

Honor YOU on Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s the day earmarked for love. But, don’t forget to love yourself, even if you have a romantic partner. I personally think that every day should be a day for love, not just February 14th! Many women […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Are You Who You Want to Attract?

This is post 223 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Let Love Start with You

While Self-Love Month is over for this year, I want to keep reminding you why you should keep working on loving yourself. That’s why I’m happy to have psychotherapist Derek O’Neill as my guest today. An internationally acclaimed motivational speaker, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Neediness

This is post 222 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Can You Forgive Your Body for Being Imperfect?

A big block to building self-love is being unhappy with your body. Too many people tell me they’ll work on self-love when they lose weight, buff up more, etc. But self-love includes loving your body exactly as it is. That […]

Empower Yourself

While Self-Love Month is over, I hope that you’ll continue to seek ways to love yourself. Self-love is the fuel for many positive things in your life. It fortifies you to build a happy life and to stand up to […]

Keep Self-Love Going Through 2013

Today is Day 31 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Today is the last day of Self-Love Month but it’s also the first […]

Building Your Self-Worth

Today is Day 30 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. When you have low self-worth, it’s hard to love yourself. But you may […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Finding Fault with Others

Today is Day 29 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 221 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Who Is Stopping You from the Life You Want?

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. In my workshops and with clients, I often ask, “Who is stopping you […]

Make Some Space for Just You

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I’m happy to have DeAnna Radaj, as my guest today. She’s an “Eco-Shui” […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Why Exercise is Self-Love

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Today’s “I love me” tip is from self-love ambassador, Taylor Ryan, NASM CPT, […]

The Illusion of Perfection

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Many of us strive to be perfect because we compare yourselves to others. […]

Give Yourself the Best Gift

Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I’m always happy to have self-love ambassador Tina Tessina, Ph.D. (aka “Dr. Romance”) […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Old stories

Today is Day 22 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 220 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

How Criticism Can Empower You

Today is Day 21 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Few people like criticism. I sure don’t, especially when it’s about something that […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Express Love to Others

Today is Day 19 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. A very loving act is to spread your love to other people. Almost […]

Lovingly Spruce Yourself

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It can be easy to fall into habits of not caring how you […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2013

Today is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Unplug for a Period of Time

Today is Day 16 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I admit, I don’t own a Smart phone or any of the tech […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Creating a Personal Mantra to Empower You

Today is Day 15 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 219 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Why You Should Love Being Imperfect

Today is Day 14 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It can be exhausting to be on a mission to be perfect and […]

Give Yourself Permission to Do What’s Best for YOU

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Often habits keep you stuck with behavior and responses that you don’t find […]

Self-Love in Action

Today is Day 10 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Today I have a special guest. Self-love ambassador Brenda Lidwell wrote to me […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Take Good Care of Your Heart

Today is Day 9 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I just read an article about how more younger adults than ever are […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Taking Life for Granted

Today is Day 8 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 218 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

“I Can’t Do It”

Today is Day 7 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. A great way to show yourself love is to get comfortable saying those […]

What If the World is Better Because of YOU?

Today is Day 6 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Since it’s Self-Love Month, it’s very fitting to have Self-Love ambassador, my fabulicious […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Compliment Yourself

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. How often do you look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment […]

Building Self-Appreciation

Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I’m delighted top have self-love ambassador Friedemann Schaub MD., Ph.D., the founder of […]

Self-Esteem vs. Self-Love

Today is Day 4 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. People often think that self-love and self-esteem are one and the same. But […]

How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros 2013

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show […]

Self-Acceptance: The Freedom to Be YOU

        Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I remember the days when I couldn’t accept me […]

Happy 2013 Filled with Self-Love

  Happy New Year! I hope that you entered 2013 smiling and feeling love. I’m excited that today is day 1 of Self-Love Month. What better way to start a new year than to find ways to say, “I love […]

Carry the Peace of the Season

There’s been an energy of peace in the air for all who allow it in, even if you’re not religious. People are in good spirits, and seem to be kinder to others. My neighborhood dresses up beautifully for the holiday […]

How Kind and Loving Are You To You?

Often we don’t pay attention to how we treat ourselves. Yet doing so can help you see where you need work in building self-love. With Self-Love Month almost here, I’m happy to have Jean Fain, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W., a Harvard Medical School-affiliated […]

A Holiday Prayer for the People of Newtown, CT

Whether you celebrate Christmas, or Hanukkah or Kwanza, or another holiday or no holiday at this time of year, I wish you a Happy Holiday Season! I celebrate the spirit I feel more than anything else and am happy to […]

Start the New Year with Room for New Blessings

I write about this every year because I believe it’s so important. One of the best things you can do this week is clean your living space and whatever else you can. I learned the benefits years ago when I […]

Law of Attraction in Action: New Years Eve

This is post 217 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Could You Survive with One Leg?

What holds you back from accomplishing what you want? It’s too hard? You don’t have the right contacts to help you? How would you feel about following your dreams if you had a real handicap, like having only one leg? […]

How My Self-Love Began at a Mary Kay Cosmetics Party

Often we need a catalyst to wake up to feeling at least a teeny bit worthy of loving ourselves. When I was a DoorMat, my first shred of self-worth began when my neighbor had a Mary Kay cosmetics party. I […]

The Only Thing That Matters

I’m thrilled to have Neale Donald Walsch, the author of 27 books on practical spirituality, as my guest today. Years ago, when I was still developing a relationship with God and building my spiritual core, someone gave me his Conversations […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Loneliness During the Holidays

This is post 216 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Commit to Yourself for 2013

The New Year is coming. It’s a time to rethink your life and how you want to change yours. It’s also a time that you tend to look for what you can do differently in the next year. You might […]

Being Nice vs. Being a Victim

People who consider themselves nice moan, “Why do people use me?” And groan, “Why me?” And whine, “I’ll never get what I want because_____.”  Fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” But this isn’t […]

The 10 Commitments of Self-Love

With Self-Love Month (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about The 10 Commitments of Self-Love that are posted on The Self-Love Movement™ site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help […]

Why It’s Good to Be Self-Conscious

Your perception of what you see can affect your attitude and happiness. That’s why I’m happy to have Carl Studna, a world renowned photographer, inspirational speaker and author as my guest today. He’s the author of, CLICK! Choosing Love…One Frame […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Detailing Your Feelings

This is post 214in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to […]

Join The Self-Love Movement™!

I’d appreciate your doing something for me. Please read this and pass it to as many people as you can. The message below can make a meaningful difference in the world. I’m thrilled and excited to announce that my self-love […]

Guidance vs. Trying to Control

Many people like to consider themselves helpful, and that can be a good thing. It feels good to help others when you can. But sometimes people mistake trying to control what someone else does as guidance, which it’s not. It’s […]

Happy Thanksgiving!

If you live in the U.S., you know that today is Thanksgiving, a day to give thanks for your blessings. Truthfully, I think we should do that every day, and I try to do that. This is a day when […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Detailing Your Desires

This is post 213 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

One–way Takers

Some folks have a distorted sense of entitlement. They might expect help to get a job in your company or your field and push you for contacts. Or they might feel entitled to get free services from your professional skills. […]

Are You Considered a Pollyanna?

Since I’ve been posting about happiness all week, I thought this topic was appropriate to end the week—seeing the world through the eyes of the kind of optimism that being happy can give you. Sometimes when I try to be […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Happiness

This is post 212 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stoke Your Happiness Mojo!

While it’s not officially happiness week, I’m calling it that and my posts this week will all relate to happiness. Why? BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!! I endured many years of unhappiness when I was a DoorMat. Even […]

Denial to Your Reality

Years ago I wrote a song called Denial after a discussion with a friend about a guy I’d been seeing who lived with blinders on. He ignored obvious things he did that caused him trouble and acted like everything was […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Feeling Like a Phony

This is post 211 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stop Playing Defense with People

When I began to say “no” to people or changed my habits in my DoorMat days, I found myself having defend what I did. People were used to me one way—always agreeable—and some didn’t like the new more empowered Daylle. […]

Ending Violence Against Women

Today I’ll be talking about something very serious and also very important. I ask that you read this and pass it on!. Close to 15 years ago I attended the first big V-Day event at Madison Square Garden. V-Day falls on […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Resistance to Obstacles

This is post 210 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

“Is That the Best You Can Do?”

I regularly find myself negotiating a money issue. As a freelancer, I negotiate what I’ll be paid to write an article or book. People have said they never have anything to negotiate, since they have a job with a fixed […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »

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