Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Questions Answered Archives

QUESTION: How Can I Keep My Past Issues from Hurting My Present?

QUESTION: I got an email from Maggie, who has read some of my book and is struggling with her current boyfriend. She said they had a wonderful relationship, except for the bad issues from her past about falling in love. […]


Question: How Do I Handle My Boss’s Jealousy?

Jenna wrote: My boss recently got burned by her boyfriend and is very bitter toward men. I’m married to a wonderful guy and she knows it. She constantly snipes at me with comments that include a reference to my “perfect […]


Question: How Can I Feel Empowered When I See the Ex Who Hurt Me?

A reader who I’ll call Lisa wrote that she has to go to an event for a friend who is friendly with her ex-boyfriend, so he’ll be there too. This guy took advantage of Lisa when they were involved. She […]


Question: How Can I Stop Lending Money?

A reader asked how she can stop loaning money to family. They rarely pay her back and always have a rationale about why she needs to help them out. They don’t help her. Yet they act like it’s her responsibility […]

Question: How Can I Stop Having To Work Extra Days?

Helena wrote that her boss knows she works faster than the other people in her department and lately has been putting her on the spot to work overtime after work, and on weekends. While she does get paid for the […]

Question: Why Does My Daughter Say I Like To Be Treated Poorly?

A reader asked in a comment, how could her daughter say she liked being treated like crap? She and her brother use it as an excuse to treat Mom poorly and she wants to change it. How could they say […]

Question: How can I Help My Child Cope with Worrying?

Last Friday my post was What, Me Worry? A reader asked for help with dealing with her child’s fears. Since we all get scared of the unknown sometimes, I’m answering here. Kids and adult can both think ahead and imagine […]

Question: How Do I Cool Off a Clingy Acquaintance?

A reader I’ll call Deb wrote to ask about how to set more boundaries with Vi, someone she only considers an acquaintance. They know each other from school days so Deb doesn’t want to completely cut her but Vi calls […]

Question: Why Does My Friend Look for My Flaws?

I got a question from Leslie, whose good friend Cara often needs to give her unasked for advice on how to improve herself or something she does, even though she doesn’t ask for it. Cara is a lovely kind person […]

Question: Is it a contradiction to feel blessed yet still feel lonely?

Someone asked this question on my post about counting your blessings that I wrote about Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving. She said she knows she has many blessings, and expresses her gratitude. But, this time of year, with all the holiday […]

Question: Are People Rude for Talking or Texting at a Meal?

The electronic age is taking over the lives of many people. It seems the younger someone is, the more they have some device almost affixed to them. Texting is immediate. Calls on cell phones constant. People feel more connected than […]

Question: Am I Stupid for Being a DoorMat?

In my first post on Beliefnet, someone asked if his stupidity led to his blindness or did his blindness lead to his stupidity. I need to address this as I do believe that many of you probably feel this way. […]

Question: Do People Smell DoorMats?

A reader complained about getting taken advantage of because of being a bit too giving. She asked if people like her have an aura about them that controllers seek out. Others have asked if people can sniff a DoorMat coming […]

Question: How Do I Give Criticism Less Importance?

A reader commented on my post called Giving Back: Kind Words. She said that while she has a nice boss and knows she does a good job, her boss isn’t forthcoming with appreciation. She asked why it seems that people […]

Question: How Do I Get Away from Someone’s Control?

In an earlier post, Rhonda J asked. “What if those (individuals) in one’s life just can’t/won’t relinquish their ‘position of power’, over the DoorMat?” The short answer is Take Responsibility! No one can make you do what you don’t want […]

Question: How Can I Stop Too Much Babysitting?

In a comment on my post on Turning Over Your Welcome Mat, Ginger complained that her son and daughter-in-law take advantage of her by putting her on the spot to babysit for her 3 undisciplined grandchildren who are under 5 […]

Question: Am I a DoorMat?

Many of the comments for my posts tell me a story and then ask, “Am I a DoorMat?” To paraphrase an old saying: If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and talks like a duck… Do […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank ...

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to ...

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks ...

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to ...

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when ...

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »


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