Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Scary Bachelor Used Kisses


I just caught the end of The Bachelor. Had to. It’s comedy on the one hand. But it sends a very sad message on the other. They all hoped to kiss this bigger than life man. Each woman lunged for his mouth when the opportunity was there, not caring who might have been there not long before her. Yuck! I’m glad it’s on at 10 so there are less young girls watching and getting a sorry message.

Talk about stomping on your empowerment! Thinking of him as a husband after knowing him for just a short time. Praying for his attention. Jealous of so many other women who vie for and get his attention. The stereotypes it reinforces is shameful. Women need to own themselves first! And then there was the blond who didn’t get picked. Crying about how she hoped they’d get married! Lady, you barely know him! She actually, through tears, said many things like:

“I’m going home empty-handed.” You have yourself honey! Stop looking to find the man who’s a prize like something in a box of Cracker Jacks! Even if he picked you, you’d still be going home empty-handed if you don’t value your own worth! Since leaving DoorMatville, I always go home full, because I’m great company solo!

“I wanted my dad to be proud of me.” What kind of dad would be proud of a daughter who makes a fool of herself on TV and competes for the attention of one guy, like there’s no one else for you. Didn’t your dad teach you to have some self-respect? I guess not.

I’ll try not to peek at the show next week but no promises. It’s fascinating how it just keeps getting worse!

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Shake Your Head & Then Get Your Butt Movin’


In my last post, Chris Melton talked about how your must walk the walk of your dreams by taking action. It’s easy to dream and hard to enact them. Are you one of those dreamers? I had many back when I lived in DoorMatville but they existed only in my head. I’d smile at the thoughts, then feel down when I couldn’t get myself to act. It made me feel powerless.

Ashleigh Brilliant said, “Good ideas are common—what’s uncommon are people who’ll work hard enough to bring them about.”

We all get good ideas. But only some of us do the work. The more work you do, the more empowered you feel. Chris Melton’s friend designed The Rotator to help his own injured shoulder. It helped with his healing and they decided to manufacture them for sale so that many people could be helped by it. It was a great dream. But Chris helped make it a reality. His passion and belief in the product spurred him on. Slowly, people are finding out how well it works and orders and publicity are coming it.

He didn’t pray for it, or hope for it. Or sit around waiting. He used hard work to make it happen! If you have a dream, ask yourself:

How badly do I want it?
How much work am I WILLING to put into it?

If you just sort of want it, leave it alone. If you’re not willing to do the work, ask yourself why. WILLING is the key word. You may not be ready to go full steam at this moment, but are you WILLING to get into gear to do so? Are you WILLING to consider what needs to be done? If you believe that you are WILLING, say affirmations to get you in motion.

“I am willing to open myself up to what needs to be done.”
”I am willing to do what it takes!”

Until you are willing, you’ll be putting your energy into making excuses for not getting what you say you want. Don’t waste that energy! If you’re not willing, let it go. Being willing to put it out is a good first step. It let’s the Universe know that you’re getting serious and can lead to situations where you might meet people who help or guide you.

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Use Your Passion To Reach Your Potential


This week Chris Melton is my guest blogger. He’s an entrepreneur who markets The Rotator, a devise that rotates the shoulder to increase its range of motion. He’s also the author of www.soupornuts.com, a blog dedicated to inspiration and motivation.

Use Your Passion To Reach Your Potential

Everybody says that they want to get ahead, take it to the next level or become successful. But what do they do about it? We have become a society of waiters, hopers, dreamers, slackers and wanters.

We wait for our ship to come in.
We hope to hit the lottery.
We want to get a promotion.
We want to change to a more rewarding career.
We want everything, we just don’t want to exert any effort

We just don’t want to have to do anything. We have drifted a long way from the attitudes of our forefathers who hacked a civilization out of the North American wilderness. But they didn’t have very much choice in the matter. They didn’t have the luxury of a Starbucks on every corner, a Walmart right down the street and Domino’s pizza delivered right to the front door.

In order to have more, we’ve got to be more and that requires doing more.

If it is your desire to have more stuff (money,etc.) then you must be more marketable. Your skills have to become more valuable. To increase your value, you must do the things that add to your value.

1. DEVELOP YOUR PASSION Do you have a passion? If so, what is it? Here’s a clue: you become proficient at your passion. That’s not to say that you will become a great guitar player if guitar is your passion, but that you can become very knowledgeable about the various aspects of the guitar. Knowledge is marketable, by the way.

Ask anyone about their passion and they will speak for hours (if you let them), describing the various nuances of the topic. What’s the point? If you have passion, then you have fuel. That’s what passion is. Fuel.

It motivates you
It empowers you
It stirs you
It intrigues you
It inspires you
It is the first step on the rung of the ladder that can take you from mediocrity to excellence

Determining your passion is much easier than you think. Ask yourself, “What is it that you love to do?”

2. BECOME MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT YOUR PASSION This is not hard to do because you love this topic. You are probably quite knowledgeable of the subject right now. But if you want to translate your passion into something that can become profitable, then you are going to need to know how this can be accomplished.

Are others making money on some aspect of your passion?
How are they doing it?
Is it a good business model?
Can you develop a better business model?

If you are passionate about anything, the chances are that there is someone else out there who is just as passionate as you are about the same thing. The beauty of living today is that with the unlimited reach of the internet, you can connect with those who share your passion.

Start a blog—-tell the world how you feel about your passion. My passions are entrepreneurship and motivation. I have this blog and am involved in two more (Shoulder Performance & Rehab and MY-TOOL Talks ). Am I passionate about them? You bet! And, yes, it does take a lot of time.

Build a business–if you can connect with enough people via the internet, then you can create an income stream. How? Well, if I told you everything then there would be nothing for you to do. It’s your passion, discover how to monetize it. It’s not as hard as you may think.

If you have are having a hard time getting motivated then you don’t have a passion. What you have is an interest. You’d like to know more, but it’s really not important enough to devote any time or effort to. Don’t try to fool yourself. Get a dictionary and look up the meaning of passion. You cannot ignore your passion.

3. Get busy doing something about your passion Too many people spend too much time getting ready to do something, but never pull the trigger and actually follow through. Take a chance. Take a small step. Explore your options and then do something.

You will not be remembered for:

what you think
what you say
what you feel
how smart you are
how strong you are
but you will be remembered for what you do!!!

DO SOMETHING TODAY!!!


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Double Standard Alert: Half Naked Guys Fine! Bikini Topped Girls Banned


I’m getting very tired of seeing double standards against females sanctioned. Guys are still the princes of society in many circles and get away with so much more! Females are held to much higher standards in many situations. This was illustrated in Bradenton, FL on Friday night when Jessyca Altenbach and Monica Cummings, seniors at Manatee High School decided to show their school spirit at a home football game in the same way that boys do.

BUT, unlike the boys, they were forced to leave the stadium. Their crime: wearing shorts and bikini tops and painting their bodies the school colors.

It’s okay for guys to come to games completely shirtless, with painted chests, their pants hanging down and their boxers or butts hanging out. That what guys do. Jessyca and Monica weren’t as exposed. They had on bikini tops. Their vitals were covered. No nipples or butt cracks showing, something not uncommon with guys. But Margi Nanney, the spokesperson for the Manatee County School district said they got complaints that from afar the girls looked like they were naked and found it offensive. Hello! They weren’t naked and were less exposed than many painted males.

Cheerleaders are acceptable in often teeny skirts that reveal cheerleader panties when they jump and twirl. That’s considered okay. Guys get turned on watching these scantily clad girls climb on each others shoulders and dance. That’s okay! But different isn’t!

Boys do more as they please and get away with much of it. “Boys will be boys!” Girls are expected to be pristine.

These girls asked a school resource officer for permission ahead of time and he said he saw nothing wrong with it. While school officials said there were many complaints, the girls say they were greeted warmly. They never saw a single person upset by their appearance.

I’m not saying there were no complaints. There will always be people with gripes. I can understand why some folks didn’t like seeing girls whose bikini tops were painted the same color as their bodies. But I’d bet a lot that when guys first began showing up to events shirtless and painted, there were plenty of complaints that were pooh-poohed, the way complaints against the girls should have been.

To say that girls who have no sexual body parts exposed must cover up while boys freely roam shirtless is sexual discrimination.

We need to be more vigilant about separate standards that exclude females from behavior that’s accepted in guys. Otherwise, it can begins with something small like this and escalate into more rigid differences if it isn’t addressed immediately. People may not like the way some girls dress, but that doesn’t make it wrong. I’m sometimes appalled by the tight, short skirts I see on young girls and want to smack their mothers for allowing it. But I don’t. We can set moral standards at home with our own kids. But opinions aren’t laws or rules. There must be the same set for everyone.

It’s unfair to set double standards for girls who aren’t breaking any rules.

I’ve read accounts about this that make the issue more about being at a school function in proper attire. While I agree that schools have the right to make rules, these rules were different between the sexes. Either shirts should be on or off. Personally, I think it was all funny. The girls looked cute—feminine versions of the maniac football fan. Those who were offended probably have issues with many standards and have a hard time getting their heads out of their rears. Or maybe it was just a few prissy school personnel projecting their own moral values onto those in the stands.

Either way, the girls broke no rules and are owed a public apology, and a refund for their tickets.

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Previous Posts

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posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

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posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

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posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
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posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »


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