Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 2



This is my thirteenth post in my Monday series on the Law of Attraction in Action, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. You can find the other posts at the end of this article.

I want to talk more about using the Law of Attraction to attract miracles to you. Last week, my post, Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 1, discussed the first phrase in the Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson (Multnomah Publishers). The 4 part prayer says:

“Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.”

I explained how the interpretation of “bless me indeed” is to ask for lots. The more you put out, the more you get back. God wants you to have miracles but you must be clear about exactly what you want. And ask for it. And affirm that you have it. And truly expect it. The more miracles you get, the easier it becomes to expect more. I know, because I’ve had so many and keep having them.

As you manifest miracles, also focus on doing what you can to help others as the second part of the prayer—“and enlarge my territory”—states.

Wilkinson explains that “enlarge my territory” means to find ways to do good things for other people. Using that part of the prayer is asking God how you can serve Him. How can you give back? How can you make someone’s life better? Giving of yourself to help others attracts a lot more goodies to you. I get so many blessings from people and try to help others whenever I can. Some of what comes back to me is truly miraculous!

What I get may not be from the same people I helped. The Law of Attraction isn’t an equal bartering system.

I’m kind to someone and someone else is kind to me. If someone I help then asks what they can do for me in return, I usually suggest passing on the kindness to someone in need. I’ll get mine when I need it. Whenever I need help with something, someone is there. All my websites have been built by people I didn’t know well yet who offered to do it for free! Kindness abounds in my world! People send me free products. I may never have to buy certain items I use regularly because I get so much free stuff. Just last weekend I went out for coffee and told the manager how much I love their hazelnut coffee. A few minutes later, he came back with 3 packages of it in a bag—because I’m a nice person he said!

After living in my DoorMat world of users and takers, I now create a loving world of kindness, generosity, and miracles. YOU can create a lovely world amidst the chaos of the bigger picture of our world—IF you CHOOSE to!

Be vigilant about how you can help people. If you’re concerned about offering to do something you may not be able to do, remember the third part of the prayer—“that Your hand would be with me.” You’ve probably heard it before but may not have quite believed it. If God brings something that you want to do but have doubts about—whether it’s volunteering to do a tough job, a big career opportunity, trying something you’ve never done before, etc.—He will be there for the outcome to support you.

The key is clearly asking for and expecting the help. Then let Law of Attraction do its work!

Fretting about what you need to do and expecting not to be able to do it sends a message of doubt. The Law of Attraction will support that doubt. Then you’ll be even more sure in the future that you won’t get support or can’t accomplish things. Counterproductive Alert! The Law of Attraction doesn’t dig into your psyche to see what you really want. It brings you back what you expect.

So EXPECT the support you need to get something done well when you take on something. God’s hand will be there with you!

When my book How to Please a Woman In & Out of Bed came out, a friend said, “You have to get on Howard Stern’s radio show.” Yes, I decided I did have to. I put it out as a serious intention. Told people, even on a TV interview, that I’d be on the show within 3 weeks. I was truly sure! When I told the publicist at my publisher my intention, she laughed, asked how I’d do it and then warned me not to get my hopes up as she’d never gotten one of her authors on. I laughed back and said I’d be the first.

Still, she was stunned to call me 3 weeks later to say the show had called to book me. I’d done nothing other than put out my intentions, and make sure the publicist sent a book to the producer.

I was fine until the night before the show. Friends advised me to listen to it beforehand to prepare myself for Howard’s nastiness and jabs. I replied that I didn’t need to, since I expected to be treated well! “Oh yeah, right. Howard Stern will be nice to you. Dream on!” The night before, as I went to sleep, I got nervous. It hit me that I’d be on Howard Stern! What if he was mean to me or tried to embarrass me? I picked up a spiritual book I read from often and opened to a random page. I know that it was no accident. I was meant to open to that spot.

It said that if God causes something to happen, He will be there for the effect too.

I knew where the message came from and fell asleep quickly and calmly. The show didn’t just go well. People asked if I’d hypnotized Howard since they’d never heard him be so nice to any other guest. He did get sleazy. After all, he’s Howard Stern. I rolled with his jokes. But he kept me on for 35 commercial-free minutes, gave my website several times, and kept saying that I made a lot of sense and people should buy my book. I knew all of this happened from EXPECTING to have a satisfying experience and The Law of Attraction fulfilled my expectation.

When you KNOW that you have God’s support, God KNOWS what you need and provides. My appearance on Howard Stern’s show was truly a miracle!

I read Prayer of Jabez just before 9/11. Right after my city was attacked, I knew I had to do something to help. I discovered that they needed many laptops to input the names of the missing people and try to track them. I sent out an email to everyone I knew asking for donated laptops. People forwarded it to others and I began hearing from heads of major corporations—IBM, Time Warner, Intel, and more—all wanting to help and not knowing how. I compiled a list of all the people and notified the 9/11 Fund about it. They asked me to keep it for when they needed it. Soon I became the go-to person for Ground Zero IT needs.

That Saturday, I heard from a VP at Time Warner. She’d been given my name as that go-to person and explained the National Guard needed walkie-talkies at Ground Zero. I explained I’m a writer and had limited contacts. She was Time Warner! But she insisted they needed me to get them. Okay I said. Since it was Saturday, none of the people on the list I’d compiled were available. I didn’t know what to do but kept trying. Then I heard from a head honcho at HBO who was volunteering with the National Guard. They desperately needed the walkie-talkies. What could I do?

I talked to God, saying the prayer and reminding Him that He’d gotten me into this and I now needed His hand in finding the walkie-talkies.

It was after 6PM on a Saturday. I had no one left to call. But all of a sudden I got out the Yellow Pages without thinking about it. I found stores that had walkie-talkies. The first one I called was closed. So I said the Prayer of Jabez, told God I was counting on Him and “randomly” called a second. They too were closed, BUT, there was a message and a phone number to call if this was related to 9/11. I called and the guy provided the walkie-talkies. Incidents like this happened more times as I continued to be asked for stuff to help at Ground Zero. They were nothing short of miracles!

Ask how you can serve and keep your eyes open for where you’re needed. You’ll get the help you need to get through, and helping others—when you can, not by sacrificing your own needs—will come back to you with miracles.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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Law of Attraction in Action Series

Law of Attraction in Action: Concrete Use of This Power
Law of Attraction in Action: Service People
Law of Attraction in Action: Kindness
Law of Attraction in Action: Easing Your Way to Joy
Law of Attraction in Action: Smiling in Your Mirror of Other People
Law of Attraction in Action: Age
Law of Attraction in Action: Who Are You?
Law of Attraction in Action: Revenge
Law of Attraction in Action: Too Blessed to Be Stressed
Law of Attraction in Action: Recovering Your Health

Law of Attraction in Action: Respect
Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 1

You’re Getting Older If You Smile When Construction Workers Whistle


Okay, I’m being somewhat facetious about the title of this post. But there’s some truth in it! For most of my life I’ve hated walking down the streets of NYC and having to endure whistles and loud comments about me or my body. Construction workers, delivery guys on bikes, and occasionally some other guy had to yell something about a body part or two, or make a general “hey baby, looking good.”

I admit to having a curvy body. In proportion. Some call it an hourglass figure. I’ve always gotten some attention when I walk down the street.

Usually I hate it. “I want to get into your pants” has especially gotten my blood boiling. Being a walk-a-holic, I found comments and whistles distracting to my pleasure in hoofing it around NYC—an intrusion; a distraction from my exercise flow. I power walk and get into a rhythm that gets broken by these annoying men. So I got in the habit of walking with blinders on—looking straight ahead and ignoring any side affects.

I still see myself as hot and sexy yet getting older, especially in a city like NY, can make even a confident girl question if others still think she’s got it.

I recently had a birthday. While I feel great about me, it is a fact that as women age, they’re not considered as appealing as younger ones. I do still feel VERY appealing. Being confident, happy and whole makes me feel like I’m the best I’ve ever been. I run 3 or 4 times a week in Central Park and work out with weights with a personal trainer. I didn’t do either until 5 years ago. But, messages about older women losing their hotness can make a girl wonder if other people appreciate the attractive and sexy woman I know I am.

I’ve loosened my blinders as I walk down the street. Right after my birthday I sped past a group of guys in hard hats and heard the familiar catcalls I used to block out:

* “Oh baby!”
* “Nice!”
* “Shake it honey.”

And I smiled after I was out of their vision.

Since then, my blinders came off more. I noticed appreciative looks from men I pass. Even guys in cars at a light give me the up and down once-over and smile or comment. While I still don’t like men yelling to me on the street, my initial “Grrrr…” reaction to it has changed somewhat. I’ve noticed that lately I also smile when guys look me over with a smile. I’m more amused than annoyed about it these days. Hmmm.. am I going soft. NO!

It feels almost like a validation of my belief that people are SOOOOOO WRONG about women losing their appeal as they get older!

I do know I’ve still got it. Yet I also remember what I’ve heard said about older women and smile, because each whistle and catcall is an unbiased affirmation that people are wrong. I don’t consider myself a cougar. I’m just me! It feels good to have the kind of confidence I do, since so many women, even many younger than me, think they’re getting used up when they approach or reach 40.

These construction workers and other men on the street affirm that a woman who takes care of herself feels and looks good, and gets whistled at.

Age doesn’t determine when you’re over the hill. YOU determine that. I’m still the same woman I was at a younger age. Actually, I’m better, because my confidence is much stronger and I do more to keep my body healthy and fit. I was attractive when I was a DoorMat, but didn’t appreciate it then. I was also thinner. Yet I didn’t put much time into keeping myself looking as good as possible. Why bother? Back then, I saw myself unworthy of nice clothing or good skin care products.

Now I love looking my best because I love me! And as other women stress about getting older, I revel in getting better.

It’s fun to get the admiration I know I deserve, even as my age continues to increase. I won’t deny my body is changing and while I don’t look my age, I don’t look 20 anymore. But, that doesn’t take away from who I am today. A friend pointed out that the main reason I get attention when I walk down the street is because I walk straight, shoulders back, head held high and exude confidence.

Confidence transcends age. It’s attractive no matter how young or old you are!

We can rock at all ages! While men on the street will continue to annoy me with their unasked for attention, I’ll probably hang a smile in my annoyance. But unlike some women who feel like they’re losing it as they age and thinking, “Wow, I must be lucky that anyone whistles anymore,” I think, “Damn, I’m still good and it’s nice that others appreciate that too!”

So don’t place yourself over the hill. Stay on the bright side of it. You’re still the same person you’ve been, even if the packaging is wearing out a little. Embrace who you are and do your best to be your best at the age you are now. Then wear the confidence it brings and see how much more attractive you get! ?

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Miracles Part 1



This is my twelfth post in my Monday series on the Law of Attraction, inspired by watching Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version.

I want to talk about using the Law of Attraction to attract miracles to you. I first learned about the power we have to manifest miracles when I read the Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson (Multnomah Publishers). It’s a teeny book explaining the meaning of a 4 part prayer attributed to a little known man named Jabez. Yet his prayer is included in the bible. It’s simple but profound:

Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.

When Jabez said that prayer, it was answered. I read the book’s 93 pages in one sitting. I had the benefit of being in Vermont for the weekend to relax, so I sat down in a pretty place in a park and just read it. I didn’t expect to finish it but there aren’t that many words on a page so it went quickly. A quick explanation of the prayer that Wilkinson elaborates on so well in the book is:

“Oh, that you would bless me indeed” This means God wants you to ask for miracles. Lot of them! He wants you to have them! This was emphasized in the book.

“and enlarge my territory” This means you should ask how can you serve God by helping others. I do love to help people so this felt good to read about!

“that Your hand would be with me” This was a fantastic reminder that if God brings you something you must do, He’ll be there with you to help you get through it.

“and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.” This means protect me from being tempted to commit a sin.

This prayer blew me away and got me thinking. When I read the second line, I wondered how I could help someone. There was a couple a few feet away taking pictures of each other against the scenery. So I asked if they’d like me to take one of them together. They were thrilled and explained they’d wanted to ask but didn’t want to disturb me since I seemed so engrossed in my book. So I found a way to help right away!

I was most intrigued by “Oh, that you would bless me indeed” Indeed! Wilkinson explains that God wants us to ask for miracles. Lots of them! After all, if you don’t ask, how can God know what you want? I’ve always expected good things but never thought about it in terms of miracles before. What a lovely thought, that God wants us to have miracles! Since then I realized it’s true, because I’ve had many! Since reading the book I’ve been more focused on asking for and expecting miracles.

It doesn’t matter how unlikely it seems. When you expect miracles, they happen!

One incident continues to remind me that miracles come to those who expect them. I did a 3-month book tour for my last music business book and drove around the US, 10,500 miles, by myself. My New Orleans and Mississippi appearances were canceled due to Katrina, which meant I had a week free before my next events in Atlanta, so I booked a flight to NY to take a break. I had to drive from Mississippi to Atlanta for my 9:30 PM flight. I thought I had plenty of time as I had a late lunch in Mississippi until the waitress reminded me that I’d lose an hour in Georgia, and I’d go through Birmingham during rush hour.

I looked at my AAA triptik and realized they’d left out 2 pages. Birmingham and getting to it were missing so I’d really misjudged the timing! The waitress was sure I wouldn’t make my flight. I hurried back on the road. I did have bad traffic near Birmingham and also many pockets of construction. Driving, I began to panic. I knew I needed to get to the hotel I was staying in when I returned to Atlanta (they were letting me leave the car there) by 8, in order to pre-check in and then have time to wait for their bus to the airport. It was 6:30 and it looked like I had at least 2 more hours to drive. Then I saw more construction delays. I began to think that it would be impossible to make my flight.

As the thought came to me, I shouted, “NO! I HAVE TO make the flight!” I asked God for a miracle, promising I wouldn’t look at my watch until I get there, and put myself and my drive in His hands.

I didn’t check the time again as I drove and drove. I was curious to know how much time I had but kept my promise. I talked to God and explained that I knew if I didn’t see the time, He could do the miracle work without my seeing how it happened. The rest of my trip, I continued affirming that I had to make my flight, and would. There was more construction. Most people would have accepted missing the flight. Not me! As I pulled into a spot at the hotel parking lot, I screamed to see it was 8:05.

I don’t know how it happened. It really was impossible to go the distance I did, in the traffic I had, in an hour and a half. But there I was at the hotel on time.

They checked me in fast. The airport bus was waiting for me. With a little rushing, I made my flight! I have no idea how I got there on a logical level. There hadn’t been enough time. But miracles aren’t logical. You have to ask for them in strong faith, like I did. I was excited as I expected my miracle. Others would have been skeptical. Skeptical attracts negative results. The Law of Attraction reads skeptical as not expecting the miracle. But when you open your heart to a miracle in good faith, it can happen.

Start asking for miracles. If you can’t bring yourself to ask in total faith, ask for support in believing that it can happen.

It’s normal to have doubts. Instead of fighting them, acknowledge them and also acknowledge that you’d like help with getting past them since you want miracles. Start with small ones. As miracles occur, your faith will grow. Life with miracles is lovelier than life without them! Ask and ye shall receive.

Next week I’ll do another post about the Prayer of Jabez and miracles. Read it here.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a commen
t and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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Do You Want to Win at the Game of Life?

Have you ever watched someone who seemed to possess second-rate skills or talent have a first-rate success? Did it make you wonder why, since so many people who are more gifted or smarter go nowhere? The latter ones may have a key component to success in common—a determination to rise to the top of their game and their careers and they go the distance to achieve it.

Actress Sophia Loren said, “Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent but with great inner drive go much further than people with vastly superior talent.”

All the talent in the world won’t help if you don’t use it. Being the most delicious cookie in the box won’t get you eaten if no one picks you. Being the smartest person in your office won’t help if you don’t open your mouth and show your smarts. Many people waste their natural abilities by not putting them to the test and proving what they’re capable of.

This Recovering DoorMat has learned she can do anything she chooses too. YOU can too!

Think about what you could accomplish if you develop the ability and the inner drive to advance in whatever you want to do. How can you prepare yourself to take the steps to pursue what you say you want? The keys to making progress are:

* Learn what you don’t know. Take a class, get a tutor or mentor, read books, or whatever it takes to teach you what you need before going forward.

* Practice your skills until you improve them and then keep practicing to be as good as possible. Practice may not make you perfect but it will make you better. And the better you get, the stronger your confidence becomes.

* Ask yourself, “How badly do I want [whatever it is you’re pursuing]?” If it’s just a whim, let it go. But if it’s something you want from your soul, acknowledge that. Focus on it. Write it down. Keep in on your mind so you can build a mental momentum.

* Stop making excuses about why you’re not ready or can’t do it. Excuses are self-inflicted road blocks. They say you’ve made a a conscious decision not to go after what you say you want. “I can’t learn to ski since I’m not fit enough.” Give it up or eat healthier, hit the gym and improve your fitness. “I don’t know enough to run the office.” Give it up or educate yourself. Ask lots of questions. Write down what you think you don’t know and find out how to learn it. It’s your choice, not your sentence, to let excuses stop you.

* Decide if achieving your goal is worth the effort. Literally make yourself choose if you prefer to complain or make excuses or do what you’ve gotta do to make it happen. Consciously make the choice. And if the choice is to go for it, start doing the work.

* Affirm your intentions. “I trust myself to do____.” “I want___ enough to do what it takes.” “I can do it!” “I’m good enough!” Make up your own affirmations to fit your situation.

* Focus on doing what you have to. Start with one baby step at a time. Do something to move forward, even if it seems trivial. One step closer is one step closer! Then take another. Even if reaching your goal takes time, keep moving forward.

* Push through the doubts or fears or pain if you want to get to the other side. It will be worth it when you get what you want.

This morning I saw gymnast Kerri Strug on a TV morning show. I remembered watching the gymnastics finals in the 1996 Olympics. The US team was in contention for a gold medal and Kerri was last to do her vault. It was all up to her. Everyone thought it was over when Kerri fell and injured her ankle on her first try. She was in pain but needed to stick her landing on the second vault. Most athletes would have mourned their bad luck and allowed themselves to be carried off. Not Kerri!

I held my breath as she focused on her second vault with determination. She did it perfectly, landed on both feet and held it long enough to secure gold for the American team. Then she collapsed from the pain. Some have it, some don’t. It’s hard to stay in the game and not get discouraged or give up because of difficulties. Advancing in any career takes work. Some goals add extra elements of difficulty. You need a strong soul, and strong faith, in both you and in knowing you have spiritual support. Kerri Strug wanted to win badly enough to endure the pain and focus on what she needed to do. Do you?

Kerri is now working with ING to encourage young people to get out and run through a program called Orange Laces. Check it out and donate if you can! She’s now determined to help kids become more fit.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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Previous Posts

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
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posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Overcoming Obstacles--interview with Jenn London
Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter and a self-love ambassaador for The Self-Love Movement™. She’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of her life, from  childhood obesity to immense family tragedy. Her optimism, determination

posted 12:01:39pm Apr. 10, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Fear of Technology
This is post 279 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. I admit that I’m not comfortable with new technology. I get nervous trying something new

posted 12:01:44pm Apr. 08, 2014 | read full post »


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