Last night I caught part of The Bachelor. There was so much hype about the ending that I was curious. Jason, the bachelor, who lost when he was one of the final two on The Bachelorette, had to choose between 2 lovely women. He knew what it was like to be one of 2 candidates hoping to win the heart. Yet he learned nothing and was so selfish in his decisions. From the snippets I’ve seen, Jason has been like a pig at a chick smorgasbord. He kissed (and probably a lot more in private) as many women as he could get his lips on.
Joy Behar sprayed his lips with Purell before she kissed him on the View! ? He did get around.
So after being rejected by Deanna, all of a sudden Jason was ‘the man.” Women begged for his attention and he gave it in exchange for physical contact. I never watched full shows yet I saw a lot of making out and fondling. And, he spent the night with several. My thought throughout was “What self-respecting woman would want to be with a guy who jumped into intimacy with woman after woman?” The “winner” got to see it all on TV after.
When a woman gets intimate with a few guys she’s labeled a slut and scorned, which is totally unfair! Yet Jason was treated like a king by women who knew about his chick jumping.
I hate this double standard but more importantly, I hate seeing all these women—gorgeous, fit, and otherwise bright —throwing themselves at this guy, begging for crumbs, and fighting for his attention, and love. DON’T THEY GET IT YET THAT YOU CAN’T WIN LOVE ON A TV SHOW! Yes, Trista and Ryan are still married and have a baby. But that one possible success out of a boatload of failures doesn’t compensate. Nor do we know if they’re really happy.
Meanwhile, many women watch this show and seeing these attractive women set a poor example of how desperate women can be.
At the end of the show, Jason dumped Molly, explaining that he’d fallen in love with Melissa. Molly left hurt and angry. She warned Jason that he’d made a big mistake. Jason said he knew better and was very much in love with Melissa. After only 6 weeks and 25 women, Jason couldn’t have fallen in love. People jump into relationships so fast that they don’t let the sexual chemistry settle before declaring their love. And what made this situation go from bad to sickening is that Jason, who expressed so much love for his son Ty, brought him into this scenario.
“Here’s your new mom Ty!” But as Ty bonded with Melissa, Jason changed his mind. On the after show, he explained that his feelings were different for Melissa since the show ended.
He acted forlorn as he matter of factly said that now he realized he should have picked Molly. Hey, you can send a dish back in a restaurant! Why not trade one desperate woman for another. He tried to act all sweet but there was an arrogance in his decision to end it with Melissa and order a Molly meal. Jason was confused about why it felt different now with Melissa. Hello!
Jason, you jumped into it without knowing each other and now that you do, don’t like what you know! Relationships take LOTS of time to develop.
Needless to say, Melissa wasn’t happy. But does out boy Jason learn? NOPE! He then declared his love to Molly. She looked at him like he was crazy when he asked if he could start seeing her and go slow this time. Okay, maybe he has learned a teensy bit. She kept giving him an “I know you didn’t!” look as he professed his feelings. Here I was thinking that she’d give Jason his comeuppance. Say no. Tell him he’s nuts.
Or “How dare you expect me to jump in again when you explicitly said you loved someone else when you dumped me.”
But she made me ill when she smiled and hugged him. And kissed him, expressing how relieved she was to have him back. Double YUCK! Does she have no self-respect? He dumped her, told her he loved someone else. But now that it’s over with Melissa, he wants to try Molly next.
I wrote the book All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise. One thing I ask women is “Who really is the jerk?” when they allow men to get away with stupid behavior. Molly barely gave Jason a hard time. She welcomed his slutty mouth back. So he made out with a lot of women, probably slept with a bunch too, and chose someone else over her. He wanted her back and that was all she needed. No apologies.
Jason smiled sheepishly and Molly caved. So again I ask, “Who’s the jerk?”
I truly hope the day comes when more women wake up and get smarter about how they expect men to treat them. And, that they don’t make men more important than having self-respect. And they don’t sacrifice their happiness to feel what they consider complete. We all deserve to be loved with respect and treated well. Men aren’t jerks. Women just teach them that it’s okay to have bad behavior because they’ll always be forgiven.
I’ve never been happier since I completed myself. Molly needs to learn that settling for a guy like Jason will break her heart down the road. He falls in and out of love like some folks do their laundry. Grrrr… I hate to think about all the women watching this show and thinking it’s okay to take a guy back who behaves poorly.
When you reach a place of contentment like I have, and self-love like I have, you’re much less likely to tolerate disrespectful behavior. I know what I deserve and won’t settle for less!