Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Keep Going!

Every time I run I want to stop. Going up hills motivates me even more to begin to create excuses for why I should cut myself some slack. I play this game in my head almost every time I do it. Sometimes the tendon behind my knee begins to hurt a little. I’m used to it and it always stops as I continue. I know it’s just a stiff muscle but when it hurts, I want to stop.

But I’ve learned that when I push through the pain I get to the other side and am always glad I did.

Living means encountering some pain. It can be the pain of exercise or the mental pain of being in a relationship that has problems or going after something that isn’t working yet or a number of other things. Mental pain can be worse than physical. There’s a whole lot of things that can hurt.

Lance Armstrong said, “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

If you quit, it’s over, but so are the possibilities that come after the pain. Running keeps me fit. I don’t feel like quitting the whole time—just when pain either starts in my tendons or I feel tired and spent going up a hill. I do some loving self-talk. Knowing that without running, I’d probably gain weight, I lovingly call myself tubby and add a pep talk about how I need the exercise and must push through the pain.

I always make sure to be conscious when my run is over and say congrats to me for finishing!

There are times I almost give up. Times I’m so hungry I just want to run to McDonald’s and pig out. But I know that if I cut myself slack that once and shorten how much I do, or give in to the excuses and short term pain, I’ve lost. I remind myself of that whenever quitting thoughts go through my head. How can one time mean I’ve lost?

Giving in once means I’ll do it again.

You can always find excuses to quit. And if they work once, they’ll work again, which is why I can’t go there. Just as I said in my post Just This Once—Not!, I know that once you cut yourself slack, it’s so much easier to do it again in the future. So I push myself to be strong and push through any pain I’m experiencing. It’s also painful for me to make the calls and send emails to media people or others for my career. Not getting anywhere is downright mentally painful!! But this is the career path I’ve chosen and it has to be done to stay a freelance writer.

While the idea of experiencing pain isn’t pleasant, the rewards can be sweeter than you’d expect.

I’d never joined a gym or worked out with weights until 2001, when I decided my concern about how I’d learn to lift weights needed to be overcome in order to stay in good shape and keep my bones strong. I’d heard about slow motion weight training, where you lift heavy weights very slowly and when your body feels like it will die from the pain, you hold it for another count of 10 seconds.

Sound painful? It hurt more than anything I’ve ever done.

It sounded good before I began. The routine only take a half hour or less once a week, since you can’t do more than a few reps of each and it takes a week to recuperate. The science behind it is to quickly push your muscles to intense failure. That builds muscles faster than any other workout you can do. The workout is done with a trainer, who guides, pushes and insists you do what’s necessary. Most weeks I’d leave swearing that was the last time. And as I’d push through the pain of doing the reps, I’d think, “I have to quit!”

But I didn’t! Each week I returned for more torture, as I thought of it.

I did this program almost every week for a year. Had I skipped or shortened a session, I would have quit completely. I got into the habit of congratulating myself on the way home each week. I was truly proud of me. And that was a big factor in the rise of my self-esteem. It was tough but I pushed through! I didn’t let the pain make me quit. That motivated me to go back.

Pushing though pain is winning! The confidence it gives you to take more risks or do things that seem hard is priceless. I switched to a trainer in a regular gym after a year. By then, I’d learned many valuable lessons:

1) I can use my breathing along with my mind to lift the weights by concentrating hard and breathing into the lift.
2) Lifting in slow motion is a great way to learn perfect form for weight lifting.
3) I can do whatever I set my mind to!

After that year my body was much more toned and I had unusually strong muscles for only working out once a week for a year. My new trainer says I bench press heavier dumbbells than any woman he’s ever worked with, with perfect form! I’m up to 2 at 40 pounds each! When I’m stumbling with something, I remember how I felt when I left a slow motion session—proud beyond words. Even when my dentist had to do painful work on my tooth, I took deep breaths and told him to just keep going so it would be done faster instead of taking many breaks and dragging it out.

Self-love is a big motivator to push through pain. Doing so made my body healthier, which is important to me. Love yourself enough to drive through pain in situations that you know can have a reward at the other end. Stay on the treadmill a minute longer. Ride out the pain of breaking up with a romantic partner who isn’t good for you instead of going back for another sweet session ending in more pain.

Allow yourself to endure a painful treatment that can heal you.

Lance Armstrong hung in with his cancer treatments and he continued to hang in to win the Tour de France many times. You can win too if you love yourself enough to persevere to the other side of pain that can have a happy ending, like a fit and healthy body or freedom to find healthy love. You’re worth it! ?

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Law of Attraction in Action: Recognizing Signs

This is post 52 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.



Summer is officially over, even though the calendar says differently. Outdoor pools are closing, even though it’s still warm, most people are done with vacations, shorter workdays are over and traffic in NYC has gone from minimal to bumper to bumper. I went on my run in Central Park this morning, lamenting about how quiet it was Monday and how crowded it is today.



Last week I talked about how September brings new beginnings for me. That seems to get into gear right after Labor Day. I’ve been saying spiritual affirmations all weekend, preparing to get into gear. I have a lot on my plate and needed to get busier. I tend to slow down in the summer. So I put myself into God’s hands and watched for the signs from Him with expectation. I said I was ready to break out and move forward.


People complain that they ask for things or put out expectations but get nothing. I ask if they’re watching for signs that their message is being heard.


They act like I’m crazy. What kind of signs?? Why aren’t they getting what they want?! Not recognizing the signs we get can make them think they’re not being heard and they give up. That tells the Law of Attraction that they’ve given up and no longer expect what they want. So they don’t get it.


Many people continue to try manifesting and end up empty-handed and disillusioned because they have blinders on.


Your higher spiritual power hears you and sends signals that you’re being heard, especially when you ask for them. It usually comes through experiences. But you have to watch for them and have enough faith to recognize them. Something can happen that you didn’t expect or small things can happen like all the traffic lights turn green when they never do. These signals are usually small, unless you ask for some bigger ones. When I’ve been scared or down about my career, I get quadruple the number of fan letters I normally get about my books. Whenever I recognize a sign, I look up and say thanks! Then I get more.


I call these God’s version of being my cheerleader, as they are reminders that God is here for me. They say, “You go Daylle!” They always spur me on!


As I ran yesterday AM, I asked for unexpected miracles, right here and right now. And I asked for signs that God was hearing me, as I needed a good spiritual kick!


When I got home, things started to go right. The elevator was waiting for me (one side has been out of service and it can take ages for it to come). I had an answer to an email that I needed. Then there were some odd signs that most people would laugh at but I’m enlightened enough to recognize them. For example, I love to play the video game Bejeweled 2 with my coffee as it helps make me alert for the day. This morning I hit one of my highest scores on the first try as I asked God for more signs. As I talked to Him while playing, much more bells and whistles than I usually see went off. Coincidence say the skeptics? I don’t care.


I KNOW it was God letting me know he was with me as everything on the board fell into place in ways it rarely does. I got excited, with my expectations going up a notch.


Later in the day I was doing some chores and threw the TV on. Deal or No Deal was on. They choose contestants by spinning a roulette wheel with 25 numbers. As it went round and round, I saw my lucky number 4 go by over and over and spontaneously asked God to let me know He was supporting me in what I needed by having the 4 chosen. The wheel spun a few more times and landed on 4! Even I was blown away by that! Coincidence? When they did it on the next show to choose the next contestant, 4 was chosen again! I got more revved and kept expecting more.


Messages from the Universe come through experiences and it’s up to you to recognize them.


The more things you recognize, the more you’ll look for and find them. Maybe it’s all in my head as some skeptics say, but my head is where all manifesting begins! Maybe it’s wishful thinking. But, I keep manifesting when it happens so it works!


There are signs big and small. They all speak to you if you listen! I’m so motivated, feeling God on my shoulder in many ways. When you need support, ask for experiences that you can’t miss to show you’re being heard. Then watch for them and be open-minded to how they come. They will if you EXPECT and recognize them as such. I WANT you to experience your own miracles, so please try this!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.


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Chill on the Attitude!

Happy September! I always think of this time of year as new beginnings. I admit, it’s partly because my birthday is this month. But also, as summer winds down and temps cool, things start to heat up in life. People begin going to seminars, consider career options and feel more of a need to get moving with their lives. Many of us are lazier in the summer. Work slows down. People take vacations. Workdays are often shorter. Now it’s time to get going!

Since it’s cooler, I’m literally doing more running in Central Park. My mood is brighter as I get more revved!

This morning I got up early to run. I was in a good mood and feeling energetic. I loved the crisp, cool (around 60), low humidity air with the sun shining brightly. I have to stop to stretch and hydrate occasionally and have spots I do that. My tendons behind my knees get too tight if I don’t. After a while, I jumped off the path most runners use. This spot is the end of a small stretch of dirt that some runners take instead of the paved path. I stop at the very end of a short one. Behind me is a fence so no one can continue.

I always thought I was out of people’s way there, until this woman with a bad attitude growled at me.

I see her often. She obviously has a physical disability. One of her arms seems permanently bent and she favors one side of her body as she runs. I’ve always admired her as she chugs along, despite her limitations. Until today. I saw her coming toward me as I drank some water and assumed she’d jump onto the main path like everyone else does when they reach the end of the dirt path. I do that sometimes. I backed up against the fence to give her room as she closed in on me. Fast!

As she turned around to go back the way she came she growled at me, “Why are you here?!!” with hostility

She knew I was a runner (even if she didn’t recognize me, she could see I was sweaty and had been running). It would seem logical that I’d be in this dead end space instead of blocking many runners on the main path when I stopped to refresh. Often I see people just hanging in that spot who aren’t in the park to exercise. It’s everyone’s park. I admit I get annoyed when people walk in groups on the path for exercisers when there’s a walking path parallel to it. But I don’t verbally attack them. I go around them.

I was so stunned by this woman’s anger that I couldn’t retort before she turned and ran back. Being handicapped doesn’t give license to be nasty.

I assumed her routine is to run to this point and turn around and go back. She looked like she wanted to tag the fence. But in a public park, you can’t always do things your way. I felt angry as I began to run again. What had been a lovely peaceful run got snagged with her negativity. I silently answered her in my head. “Why am I here?” Because I have a right to be! It’s a city park! Better there than blocking many runners. I wasn’t expecting someone to need that dead end. As I resumed my run, I thought I might see her again if she turned and came back toward me and I could shout that at her.

Gratefully, I caught myself. This woman is obviously unhappy if she makes such a big deal out of going all the way to the fence.

It wasn’t worth ruining my run over by letting the thoughts play in my head. I let it go. By feeding a need to say something to her, I was adopting her bad attitude. Maybe yelling something would feel good for the moment but it wasn’t necessary. In the bigger picture, it wouldn’t be a nice thing to do. This woman has a physical problem and maybe this run is her only way to feel in control. So I let it go and felt much better after.

Telling someone off isn’t worth the energy most of the time.

Compassion for the fact a person who gets mean or nasty must be unhappy about something in their life eases anger. Understanding that makes it easier to accept their actions. Bad attitudes can be contagious, just as good ones can be. Watch yourself when you’re hit with one that makes you bristle. Forgive the person for taking their own stuff out on you in your heart and let it go! Instead, spread a good attitude to others! ?

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Law of Attraction in Action: Tough Times

This is post 51 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.



The economy has been bad for a while. That’s true! Many people are out of work. that’s true too! Prices are going up. The news media spreads the hype that we’re going through tough times. I hear people, even those with good jobs, talking about what tough times we’re having. Even people on TV talk shows, who have to be making a better than average salary are talking about having to cut back like it’s a real bad problem.


You’re having a tough time IF you choose to have one.


It’s hard not to feel the pinch, even if nothing has changed in your economic world if tough times are discussed so much. There are constantly segments on TV about how to budget and find ways to get through these tough times. I often turn the channel when they come on. Of course I like to know how to save money. That’s always good. But I don’t like the message that comes with the tips—that we’re living in tough times.


These are only tough times if you think of them as tough times! And if you do, the Law of Attraction will reinforce it for you.


During times when people around you seem to be struggling, do what you can to keep negative expectations out of your world. Even if you lose your job, expect to find something better. I’ve spoken to people who’ve had this happen. Some talk like their life is over. “Oh woe is me!” “What will I do?” They immerse themselves in the tough times and attract more tough times.


Every situation can be gotten through when you put out a positive vibration of expecting good things to come, even in the face of adversity.


I know it’s hard. I’ve been there. That’s why I considered my #1 blessing to be the strong faith I have that everything will work out. I don’t have a job. I rely on getting book deals, speaking gigs and counseling clients. Once when my checking account was empty and I had no work, I automatically went into panic mode. But I caught myself fast. I KNOW with all my heart that I have a steady income. So I cleaned to feel back in control like I discussed in my Law of Attraction in Action: Control post. Then I expected to get something good. Two new books to write came to me at once the next week!


Stressing out over the economy shows a lack of faith. And it makes you more unhappy.


Why do that to yourself? Instead, be more loving, take some deep breaths, and work on creating a strong vibration to show the Universe you intend to get what you need. When I needed an income, I screamed affirmations with joy. Over and over! I made it clear that my intention was strong and I wasn’t worried because I expected to get what I needed.


“I have the income I need from whatever source is best for my highest good!”


There are still jobs to be had. How you CHOOSE to view your situation determines where you land. I have a friend who’s been out of work for a while. She collected unemployment as she did a job search in this tighter job market. She also got some freelance work to help out. Never once did I see her lose her positive attitude. She went on one interview after another, only to find 20 other candidates were fighting for the one job.


Laurie continued to do her best, certain that she was okay and would get a job when the time and position were right.


Her unemployment was about to run out but she hung in with a smile and relaxed attitude. In this time that many see as tough, Laurie landed her dream job. It was a perfect fit for her, a good salary, and she loves the work. While others sit home lamenting about tough times, and bringing them on with their thoughts, others are finding great opportunities.


It YOUR choice how to spin the economy in your head. Tough, challenging or full of new opportunities?

My world hasn’t been hit by the “tough times.” I still live as usual. Some people see the way I live as on edge, since I don’t have a steady paycheck. I don’t at all! The week before I finished up my last book, I looked up and said I was ready for the next one. The next day I got a call to write the most prestigious book of my career—so far! It’s a challenge but I’m up for it. When you have faith, life flows with good in your direction!


Living within your means doesn’t have to be tough!


Prices have gone up dramatically here in NYC. But it hasn’t really affected my lifestyle. I’ve changed some habits that save money and have been good for me too! For example, I always eat out of the weekend. I don’t drink a lot of coffee during the week but always had several cups in restaurants. So I cut them out. It’s better for my health and compensates for the increased cost of my meal. I no longer miss it and have some before or after that I make myself.


Saving money can also be healthy!


I’ve actually cut back on my portions of meat which saves money . I didn’t consciously do that to save money. It just seemed healthier to eat less meat so I do now. And it’s helped me to slowly trim my weight. To me that’s a win/win situation! I save money and calories.


Don’t let the media convince you that you’re living in tough times. They may be tough all around you but don’t have to be in your little corner of the world!


Count your blessings, do positive affirmations and keep expecting good things, even miracles! You can create a secure environment in an insecure world if you expect it. Remember, the Law of Attraction will bring you whatever you think, so think happy, prosperous times and finding new ways to live a great life!


See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.

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