Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Law of Attraction in Action: Swine Flu Panic

This is post 37 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

It’s all over the news—the swine flu scare. Is it a dangerous epidemic? Or worse, a pandemic? People are panicking. They’re wearing masks. Schools are closed. The newspapers and TV outlets are having a field day with this story. But, is it really necessary?

Absolutely NO! The news media plants these thoughts in out heads and pushes us to send the fear of contracting swine flu out to the Universe. That’s what stimulates the Law of Attraction to help it spread.

The panic that the swine flu scare creates attracts more panic. Thinking about the flu attracts more.

The regular flu kills many thousands of people a year. One estimate I heard was it averaged 500 people a week dying in the U.S. from flu related illness. We have flu going around every year. The cases of swine flu in the U.S. have been mild. Right now there aren’t that many and it isn’t spreading as fast as the media would like you to think. Yet the news builds up the scare and we buy into it. Nobody likes getting the flu but it’s normal for it to go around. This one doesn’t seem any worse than what’s gone around before, but never before has technology made it so easy to spread information—and fear.

Yet as we hear the flu isn’t spreading fast and the people who have it are recovering easily, there’s panic going on. All the media hype keeps it alive in your mind. It’s hard to get away from it but I try to. I mute reports and change the radio or TV channel if there’s another special on swine flu. I already know that I won’t get it, since it’s my intention not to. I have strong faith that the Law of Attraction will support this.

People tend to overreact to situations that are built way out of proportion by the media. But collectively, they help the Law of Attraction to spread the flu.

Or, collectively, you can help the Law of Attraction to stop it from spreading with your intentions.

My drugstore in midtown Manhattan has face masks prominently placed for sale. I see people wearing them in the street. Swine flu continues to dominate the news. School districts are closing schools for a week or two. Everywhere people talk about this illness like it’s deadly. Some people stopped shaking hands. I still do because I KNOW I’ll be fine. Panic makes people behave irrationally. I’m acting in faith.

Panic says that you don’t trust you’ll be okay. That attracts more feelings of fear or getting the flu or whatever it is that makes you panic.

The first outbreak got me momentarily nervous since they emphasized how the majority of cases are in NYC and I live here. It sounded awful. But, then I thought about it rationally and paid more attention to the good news—that people aren’t getting very sick. An overreaction to something that sounds scary can be controlled if you CHOOSE to. If you feel panicky about swine flu, or any other situation:

* Slow down and take deep breaths. This will calm you and help you to think more rationally.

* Stop talking about it or listening to reports. If all the news reports about swine flu are making you scared, turn them off! If people discuss it, either change the subject or walk away. Don’t let it stay in your consciousness to attract more stress or other negatives that your thoughts might attract.

* Consciously identify exactly what you’re scared of. Getting the flu? Having your city shut down. A loved one getting sick? Or the thought of it? Very often all the panic created makes you scared of the unknown or you just catch the panic and let it run you.

* Take extra special care of your health, which I think you should do every day without a flu scare. Good health is armor against getting sick. It also feels better so you have more strength to deal with what scares you.

* Tell yourself that everything will be fine. It will be if you let it! Do affirmations about your good health and everyone you know staying healthy or being fine. Thank God for it.

* Trust that you will be fine. This is a hard one if you’re faith isn’t strong. I speak from a place that I regularly put myself into God’s hands and know I’m safe. That’s the best place to be to allow the Law of Attraction to work for your highest good!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Playtime!

Lately I’ve been working longer hours than usual. Part of it has been to compensate for time spent at the hospital to support my loved one with cancer and other family obligations. A lot of people count on me to be their rock. I try my best not to neglect those I care about. But in doing this and trying to get my writing done, I’ve been neglecting me!

When being kind and helpful to others, it’s important to give enough to YOU!

I realized I’ve been automatically passing on getting together with friends when I have free time so I can catch up on my work. I do need to catch up but I can’t sacrifice all my playtime! Doing that mimics my behavior when I was a DoorMat and I don’t intend to return to that mentality! That’s why being conscious of your behavior is so important. It’s normal to get onto auto-pilot when you’re busy and trying to fit all your obligations in.

We often do things by rote—out of habit—without realizing that we’re hurting ourselves. Pay attention!

The other day a friend called to invite me to a special event. He’s a TV producer and was going to an evening with the cast, writers, and other people from the award-winning TV show, Damages. My first inclination was to say “no.” It was my only free night. I planned to stay home and write. But I caught myself. I needed some fun! I haven’t had much lately. So I took a deep breath, pushed away all the reasons I shouldn’t go, and accepted the invitation.

Making plans to do something fun can get you smiling. It sure did for me. that’s healthier than passing on fun to get more work done.

Once I knew I was going, I looked forward to it. I always enjoy spending time with a friend. The event began at 7. When he asked if I could meet him at 6 so we could be early and get good seats, I hesitated. That meant leaving at 5:30 and would cut out some of my work time beforehand. But I caught myself and said yes. It was empty when we arrived. Had I not been conscious, I might have been upset that it wasn’t necessary to arrive so early.

I could have gotten more done. But instead, I enjoyed my conversation with a friend. And we ended up sitting in the center of the first row!

The discussion was fascinating. Ted Danson and Glenn Close were literally right in front of me. I’ve met many celebs so I wasn’t star struck by them but it was FUN. I could see the twinkle in Danson’s eyes when he told jokes. Seeing Glenn Close like that was a special trip for me. When the movie Fatal Attraction came out, I got stopped all the time and told I looked like a dark haired version of her in that film. My hair was curly like hers was in the film back then. Kids would come up to me and say I looked like the lady with the knife. I heard it hundreds of times but couldn’t see the resemblance.

Until now. I saw it—just a little—in her profile. As she spoke, I noticed a bit of a similarity. It’s more in the shape of our faces than our features. Not enough to merit all the comparisons in my opinion, but of course that was years ago. It was FUN to see her and try to find some resemblance. And FUN to be out and go for a bite after at an outdoor café. I can get lost in my work. I’m glad I realized how much I needed to play!

Playtime is important, even for adults. We can get caught up in obligations and forget to have FUN.

People Pleasers make that a lifestyle. Everything revolves around others when you live in DoorMatville. But it’s not hard to change with consciousness and desire. Pay attention to how much you give. Then think about how much playtime you take. If you can’t remember when you last had some or you only need one hand to count all the recent FUN times, make some plans to play!

I’m making a more conscious effort to include downtime and playtime in my schedule. Make that effort too! Life is too short to not enjoy it.

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Finding Happiness in Tough Times

Many people are having a tough time these days. The economy is hurting and now we’re hearing about the swine flu epidemic. It can really get you down. That’s why I’m thrilled to have Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D., author of over 50 books, including her new one, Want It, See It, Get It! as my guest. She gives an overview of her 12 principles of happiness no matter what’s going on.

You Can Be Happy, Even in Difficult Times
by Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.

As each day brings more and more bad news about the state of the world, you could use an antidote to today’s doom and gloom to rejuvenate yourself.

What? Try applying the principles of happiness to whatever is happening in your life today, so you can enjoy whatever you are doing and get rid of your feelings of stress. The 12 principles of happiness are listed below. Think about them each day, so you regularly apply them; perhaps keep them on a list you see regularly, so they stick in your mind. Eventually, this way of experiencing happiness will become a habit and way of life, so you enjoy every day, no matter what happens. It’s an outlook that will help to drive away fear and other negative feelings towards work and your economic future.

1. First cultivate love, which is often called the “root of happiness” and the polar opposite of fear. To do so, remind yourself to experience and express appreciation for the work, friends, and significant others you have in your life. Focus on what you have now or will have, so you feel gratitude, not on what you don’t have or used to have, causing you to feel a sense of loss.

2. Be optimistic. To this end, put any painful experiences by letting them go or thinking about how you can learn from whatever difficulties you encounter. Optimism can also help you overcome any regrets for the past and lead you to feel confident about what the future will bring.

3. Cultivate courage by actively embracing challenges as a way to overcome feelings of fear.

4. Remind yourself that you always have the freedom to choose whatever the situation. Should you feel stuck where you are, think of the different ways you might remake yourself and do something different; consider how you might adapt your skills to respond to today’s economic situation.

5. Be proactive, so you shape your own destiny, rather than waiting for other people or events to make you happy. Think about what you can change or do differently to reshape what you are doing now.

6. Gain security by liking and accepting who you are, so you have an inner sense of assurance, since everything else in life changes. So seek security come from within, not from outer attributes, such as money or popularity.

7. Take steps to be in good health, because you need to feel healthy to be happy, while feeling happy will contribute to your good health.

8. Have a sense of spirituality, which means being open to experiences beyond your everyday life, rather than having a particular religious faith. This sense of spirituality can then help you feel secure and give you a feeling of strength and purpose, so you are better able to weather difficulties you encounter in daily life.

9. Embrace and express altruism, since you will gain great satisfaction through giving to others and feeling connected to them; it will help you have a sense of purpose. By contrast, overly self-absorbed people are generally not truly happy.

10. Cultivate a sense of perspective, so you are better able to distinguish between big and small problems and prioritize what is more and less important, rather than being rigid. This way you can put your current difficulties into a larger context. For instance, you might view current economic uncertainties as a time of change preparing you to move on to newer more satisfying work in the future.

11. Look on whatever happens with a sense of humor , which will help you lighten up and move past current difficulties.

12. Have a sense of purpose, which will give meaning to your life. It will enable you to feel satisfied that you are doing what you were meant to do.

Now that you know the 12 happiness principles, think about how you might apply them in your work and life. You may find you are already using many of these principles. But now pay attention to how and when you are using them, so you appreciate yourself for what you are already doing – an example of the first principle: love, whereby you show appreciation for yourself.

* * * * * *
Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D. is the author of over 50 books and a seminar and workshop leader, specializing in work relationships and professional and personal development. Her latest books include Want It, See It, Get It! and Enjoy! 101 Little Ways to Add Fun to Your Work Everyday, both from AMACOM. Read them for more insights on how to be happy. Gini’s websites are: www.workwithgini.com and www.ginigrahamscott.com.

Law of Attraction in Action: Clarity

This is post 36 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

The Law of Attraction reflects what you put out. But often we’re too vague about what we say we want. Clients have said they want more of everything. I ask what everything is. They can’t quite clarify it. They say they know what they want but think in generalities instead of specifics. You can’t get exactly what you want if you’re vague about what it is.

To get the best results from the Law of Attraction, you must be VERY clear about what you want.

If you leave it up to the Universe or God to figure it out, you might not get what you really want. You may think you know what you want but don’t really. Wanting to be out of a current situation into something better isn’t clear. Knowing what you don’t want doesn’t attract the opposite. Thinking about what you don’t want can actually reinforce your continuing to have that.

When you’re clear about what you want, the Universe responds to your clarity. That’s when you get the most good stuff!

Think about how you put out what you want. If it’s not clear, make an effort to be specific. Besides your words, make sure that your actions also support your desires and intentions. If you say you want something but your behavior is counterproductive to getting it, it’s hard for the Universe to figure out your true intention. Some of the most common things people say they want in unclear ways are:

* “I want more money.” If I give you a penny, you have more money than you just did and your wish is fulfilled! But I don’t think that’s what people mean. How much more money? I prefer to put it out that I want abundance, in all areas of my life including financially. Or be specific and put it out that you want to double your income or have enough money to buy a house or whatever else you want money for. I leave it in God’s hands to decide where it will come from. But if you say you intend to have lots of money but refuse to buy something you’d like because you’re scared to spend money or you refer to yourself as poor, the message gets muddied. I don’t go crazy but spend with faith that I’ll always have what I need. And I ALWAYS do!

* “I want someone good in my life.” You may mean a romantic partner but may attract more time with your mom, who is a good person. Be clear about what you’re looking for. “I want to meet a romantic partner who makes me very happy and treats me well.” Or make a list of all the qualities you want in one. The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to attract what you want. But if you continue to take back the person who treats you poorly or avoid meeting people, the message you send is confusing.

* “I want a better job.” What does a better job mean to you? More money? A higher or more interesting position? Be clear about exactly what you want in your next job. Polish up your resume with clarity about your goals. Complaining about your job while sitting still in it shows you’re okay there. Do things to prepare yourself for the job you say you want so the Universe is clear about what it is. If you’re not clear yourself, figure it out because the Law of Attraction won’t. It will just keep you stuck!

* “I want to be happy.” What does happy mean to you? Being happy means something different to everyone. You have to be specific about WHAT would make you happy. Figuring that out can be the hardest part. Make a list: “I would be happy if….” Include everything you can think of. It’s better to have being happy as an umbrella goal and seek to receive the specific things on your list.

* “I want to lose weight.” Would you be okay with losing just an ounce? Probably not. Think about what losing weight means to you. Losing at least 10 pounds or a pound a week for months? Fitting into a smaller size. Shrinking your belly? Focus on the specific aspect you want instead of the general statement. And, do at least something to change your eating and exercise habits. Otherwise, your actions show you want to remain the same.

For many years when I lived in DoorMatville I longed for all sorts of good things. But, I treated myself poorly, which contradicted my wishes. It killed my faith, since I didn’t understand that I sent a message that I didn’t love myself and couldn’t help myself, which the Law of Attraction picked up on and kept me in that place. Now when I expect good things, my words and actions are specific about my being ready to receive them. I get goodies and miracles regularly.

The clearer you are about your desires and goals, the more likely you are to achieve them. It gives the Law of Attraction fuel to make them a reality!

There’s an old saying about being careful what you wish for because it might come true. THINK about what you want, be SPECIFIC about what it is, ACT like you expect to get it, and enjoy the results! That’s the best way to attract the most. I do all the time and it reinforces why DoorMatville is a place I’ll never choose to return to.

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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