Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

This is post 54 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Everyone gets disappointed. It’s just part of being alive. If you have no disappointment, you’re probably not living fully enough. I’ve said this at a talk and people have questioned how someone with strong faith in the Law of Attraction can be disappointed. Shouldn’t I just keep attracting what I want? No! It doesn’t work that way. And honestly, it’s better that way. Disappointments help us appreciate the good stuff. If everything went your way all the time, you’d take your blessings for granted.

I don’t manifest 24/7. There are many times that I’m so busy I forget my own lessons. Disappointing? Nope! It’s being human.

Often disappointments are also things we want that don’t happen because it’s not best for our highest good. If all we had to do to get anything was wish, we’d all have everything. But what you want may not be what you need or may not be best for you. Even so, if it doesn’t happen, you can become disappointed. That can set off a negative thought with a negative chain reaction.

Disappointment tells the Universe you feel let down. It’s almost like the opposite of gratitude, which attracts blessings. So guess what disappointment attracts!

Disappointment can also block you from taking future risks in faith. People withhold joy and adventure in the name of avoiding disappointment. You might not realize you do it consciously but it happens. Disappointment doesn’t feel good. I agree. But you can’t let it stop risks or looking forward to getting stuff you want. And you shouldn’t let disappointment create fear—of being let down by not getting what you want.

Disappointments are road bumps, not doors that shut. It’s your choice, not your sentence, to get too discouraged to try again.

It’s a natural reaction to let the memory of disappointments permeate your consciousness and effect your decisions now. That’s living in the past, yet many of us do that. Disappointments wound us. They hurt. I’ve had some major letdowns that literally whammied me into pain as bad as a physical wound. It happens to us all. You may get fired or have a business tank or a deal fall through or lose someone you care about or a gazillion other letdowns. Your perspective about what happens determines your future.

When you’re disappointed, do you tell the Law of Attraction that you’re angry at what you got, or have faith that it happened for a reason?

I choose the latter. I’ve accepted that things happen for a reason and something that isn’t for my highest good won’t happen, even if I want it badly. I learned this when a top literary agent was enthusiastic about repping the first book I wanted to write. She was sure I’d get a 6-figure deal for it and insisted I go buy a conservative suit to wear to meet with editors. I did and walked around in frenetic excitement, expecting to be rich soon. But not one editor wanted to meet me and the book go no offers.

I was devastated when the agent gave up and mourned for a day to soothe my disappointment. Then I affirmed, “Everything happens for a reason, Whatever is meant to be will be.”

The Universe worked with me and brought me the reasons. I self-published a newsletter to have something to write and sell. Doing that made me a better writer and helped me solidify my writing voice. I needed to do that before editors got into the mix and pushed me possibly in the wrong direction. Feedback from people who subscribed to my newsletter gave me a confidence in my ability to write that I never would have if I’d gotten a deal back then.

Realizing that strengthened my faith and the Law of Attraction responded by showing me a better direction.

Disappointments can make you quit, or make you stronger. I got stronger! They can spark your determination to ultimately succeed if you let them. Disappointments have a profound effect on many people in ways they don’t easily recognize and spur you to send out counterproductive messages that helps the Law of Attraction send you more of what you don’t want, such as:

“My romantic partner broke my heart. I’ll never love again!” If you prefer to never have love again, go for it. Otherwise, change your perspective to something like, “Next time I’ll love someone who is good for me and will treat me well.”

“I’ll never get a job as good as the one I lost.” Is that what you want? If not, don’t say it!

“Things aren’t going well. Life sucks!” Need I elaborate on what the Law of Attraction will bring you if you say things like this?

When you accept life’s circumstances and learn to roll with them, with a positive perspective, you’ll attract something more positive later. It can take a while. Years after the book I mentioned earlier didn’t get even a nibble from publishers, I’m grateful I never wrote that book. I know that had I gotten it published, my career would be very different. As I grew, so did my take on self-empowerment. That book would have steered my career in a direction that I’m so glad I didn’t go in. So in retrospect, if worked out perfectly.

Turn your disappointments into blessings! You can if you change how you view them.

Tell the Universe it’s okay, and that you trust you’ll get what’s best for your highest good at the right time. Disappointments also teach when we let them. You can learn what to do better or differently next time whether it’s a relationship, business, trusting someone who let you down, etc.

Disappointments usually mean that what you wanted wasn’t for your highest good or the thoughts you put out attracted what disappointed you.

Either way you can control them. Tell the Law of Attraction you’re open and willing to accept what you get, and then watch your thoughts carefully to let the Universe know exactly what you expect. Doing that cuts down on disappointments and makes the best of the ones you have. I gave away the suit my first agent made me buy with the tags still on it. It wasn’t my style. Now, my whole career is tailored to who I am and it fits me well! I’m so glad I turned that disappointment into a blessing!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Another year to celebrate! I’m flat out kid today. Fun. Eating. Being lazy. Celebrating. Kids do these things. Adults often minimize the day as not a big deal or lament another year. As I said in my post on Monday for the Law of Attraction in Action series on Aging, birthdays are a fabulous way to celebrate another year of your life.

Choose to take care of yourself so you can age well and not be intimidated by getting older.

People tell me I’m lucky when they hear my age. I’m usually taken for a lot younger than I am. My skin is youthful, my body fit and my muscles strong. What surprises people the most is I don’t need glasses for anything. I recently went to an eye doc to get my form filled out to renew my driver’s license. Even she was surprised at my excellent vision. Lucky? Nope.

You too can have good health luck by taking excellent care of it like I do.

I’ve always tried to have good health habits. Maybe the luck is having parents who taught me the importance of taking vitamins and supplements, exercising, and paying close attention to the general care of my body. Since my late teens I’ve consciously cared for my skin. I read many health magazines to learn about what’s best for me. People laugh at me when they see how many pills I take each day. Let them! I just have to look in the mirror, look at them without glasses or see the numbers on my blood tests to laugh back!

Age isn’t just a number. It represents the number of years you’ve been blessed to be on this earth!

Each year is a blessing, not a curse. You make it a curse when you look at yours in a negative light. Sure I have more limitations than I used to. I feel it a little more when I stay out late or other activities. Oh well. Should I lament? Nope! I just work with what I have and watch myself a bit more since I don’t want to hurt my health.

Agatha Christie said, “I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

Being alive is a grand thing! A very grand thing! Don’t let other people or the media make you mourn birthdays. Celebrate you on your day, as I’m celebrating me today. You’re alive, and the same person you were yesterday. You don’t just change as the day comes. You can work with your years and enjoy them or work against them and be at unhappy about getting older, which ruins your joy!

This post is short today because I have things to do to celebrate! Special people, a reflexology session, enjoying the glorious weather I always attract for my HAPPY day! I’m wearing my t-shirt that says, “Women do not have an expiration date.” You can see it backwards in the pic.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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Today I welcome Barbara Joye as a guest blogger. She’s stopping by on her virtual book tour for the title she co-authored, The Light Won: A Tutorial in Co-Creation.

Considering a Shift from Duality to Relationship
by Barbara Joye

I have often asked myself why life seems to be so difficult, so hard. In communicating with the Angelic Realm during the co-creation of the book The Light Won, I believe the Angels provided an answer that makes sense to me and to those I have shared it with thus far. The answer is that we are living life in ‘Duality’ rather than in ‘Relationship’. In fact we even live our relationships in a duality format.

Duality has been the manner in which we have lived for generations – perhaps since the beginning of time. As such, we are all well steeped in the ‘Game of Duality’ and know how to play it well. Duality says that this is right and this is wrong and gives us all the roadmap for living. Or does it?

Duality is, in fact, not an essence that our deeper persona relates to well. In the space our spirit lives, duality is an energetic drain as nothing else can be. And, if it is in the space our spirits live, perhaps it is for the human body and the human experience as well.

Perhaps it is well worth our time and effort to rethink our connection with The Game of Duality – and consider a shift to The Dance of Relationship. In the book The Light Won, comparisons between Duality and Relationship are provided in an insightful and powerful manner.

“What Duality defines as comparative, Relationship defines as connected.”
“What Duality labels as opposite, Relations characterize as balanced.”
“What Duality classifies as ‘out of sync’, Relationship expresses as expended.”

As I spent time with these concepts and began to consider how my life might change if I were to relinquish the Game of Duality in favor of the Dance of Relationship, I began to understand why this was not such a simple process – not the ‘no brainer’ one might think it would be.

For starters, who would define what is good and what is bad; what is right and what is wrong; what is appropriate and what is inappropriate? I have a hard enough time now staying in step with the culture and am known as a bit of a maverick…what would my life look like if I really took it upon myself to determine rights and wrongs; goods and bads; and, perhaps most challenging of all, appropriates and in appropriates? How out of step or out of control might my life become?

With these thoughts in mind, I awaited the next meeting with the Angelic Realm to ask a few more questions about this ‘Dance of Relationship’. I decided that a bit more insight was important to my being willing to step out on what felt like a limb and become an individual who lives life in relationship. The morning arrived for our next discussion and I opened with the questions I had pondered. The discussion what brisk and energizing and provided me with a whole new perspective of a life in relationship.

To begin with, living in relationship is about living in an understanding of your position on a topic or idea; the resulting possibilities the position you hold supports you in creating; the possibilities create perspectives and opinions; and the perspectives and opinions create the preference which determines how we relate to a specific topic or idea or action or outcome.

Position, possibilities, perspective and preference…these are the elements of relationship.

When we live in relationship, we are able to see our own positions and resulting preferences and we are able, when we have developed our relationship talents further, to see another individual’s positions and preferences, thus the ‘Dance of Relationship. For with an ability to perceive the position and preferences of another individual, we have a greater chance of meeting somewhere in the middle…on the dance floor.

And please note, living in relationship does not mean we should or would relinquish our preferences. It simply means we would understand where our preferences were formulated (that would be our positions with their resulting possibilities and perspectives) and from that vantage point determine just how clearly we are perceiving and whether or not we are willing to make any change, no matter how slight.

This ability to shift – even a miniscule amount – is one of the hallmarks of relationship.

* Relationship provides a way to navigate the differences of opinions that duality does not;
* Relationship exposes our thinking and those of the other individual or group so we may all see each other’s perspective; and
* The dance of relationship provides the music for relating and for finding the center of the issue or difference.

So, if relationship is so powerful and effective, why are we not all actively engaged in and living the possibilities inherent in the Dance of Relationship? First and foremost, because we so steeped in the Game of Duality, the Dance of Relationship has gone unnoticed until now.

Secondly, when we engage in the Dance of Relationship, we have to become responsible for our decisions as we are each determining our action based upon our own position, possibilities, perspectives, and preferences. The one perceived benefit of the Game of Duality is that life is ‘black and white’ and we do not really have to make very many decisions on our own. The societal customs and norms are well established. And whether they are positive or not, they at least exist.

And finally, the Dance of Relationship takes time and effort. With our busy lives, we decide that it is simply too much work. Or is it?

I would ask each individual to consider what their life might look like if lived in the relationship format. How might you life be more dynamic? What might the benefit be to move into a knowing of your position and preferences on just a few topics in your life? Who might benefit if you were to interface in the relationships in your life from a relationship perspective? What do you put at risk by simply considering the possibilities – and what makes sense, engage in and what does not make sense, leave until later.

The Dance of Relationship awaits each of us with its promise of more music and rhythm to life…what do we have to
Check out Barbara Joye’s book, The Light Won: A Tutorial in Co-Creation.

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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This is post 53 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

My birthday is this Saturday, September 19th. I’m looking forward to it with the joy of a little kid! Yet I hear over and over, people talking about their birthdays as one step closer to the end of their lives. They avoid telling their ages, even in their twenties. And they EXPECT to begin to get physical ailments as they approach their 40’s and beyond.

Hello! That screams to the Law of Attraction to make their aging process unpleasant. It usually works!

Each birthday is NOT a notch in your death sentence! It’s an opportunity to celebrate another glorious year on this earth. That’s what I do. My message to the Universe is that I intend to make the most of every day that I’m here. And my life keeps getting better. I attract better!

Getting old isn’t just in your head. Our bodies change. But you can adapt to the changes and find ways to keep up a positive attitude.

I admit, I get tired more easily these days. I hear it from others too. But creating a “woe is me” kind of message about getting more tired or your body aching a bit more as you get older and do activities attract more woe to you! The Law of Attraction brings you what expect. If you expect woe, you’ll get it! If you accept the changes with joy, knowing that the rest of your life is good, you’ll enjoy life a lot more.

Find ways around some of the glitches of getting older by taking better care of yourself, and you can offset it.

I’m still running several times a week. People even younger than me say they’re sure they can’t do that anymore since they’re getting older and their knees will give them problems. Bah! When I began to run 4 years ago, I also began to take Glucosamine with Chondroitin and MSM. I knew it helps joints build more cartilage. When my mom (may she rest in peace) had a lot of pain during her power walks, her doc insisted she needed both knees replaced. I got her on the supplement and a few months later she was power walking pain free. Her doc was shocked that she no longer needed surgery.

So I take a smaller dose to protect my healthy knees, knowing I’m getting older and running can hurt my joints. And I take smaller (but more) strides than most runners, keeping my feet low to the ground to minimize impact. People laugh at me for all the supplements I take each day and the acupuncture I get regularly. But heck, I look much younger than my years and still do things that people much younger can’t keep up with.

Making some small conscious changes to protect your body, including your skin and hair, tells the Law of Attraction you intend to stay healthy as you age, and look better!

Friends I’ve known for years won’t tell me their ages, even though I know they’re younger than me and they know mine. Years ago I interviewed a famous singer, who was no more than 40 and told me she couldn’t get the number out of her mouth. It was too painful. What does that tell the Law of Attraction?—that aging is painful!

I acknowledge that there’s a lot of ageism out there, especially for women. I’ve been asked my age too many times before going on a TV show. It’s discriminatory and insulting! But that’s the way life is. I admit—I’ve lied to producers to get on the show and it’s never an issue after that. They call me back on. But age could get in my way of getting my foot into the youth conscious door.

Nonetheless, your age can’t be changed so you might as well make the best of your life instead of putting a damper on it by telling the Universe your age hurts you.

Find ways around any health issues that may come and don’t let them stop or depress you. Succumbing to fear of aging keeps you from living every day you have to the fullest. Happiness at any age is VERY possible. It’s up to you. Tell the Universe that aging makes you less of a worthy person or less healthy or less of anything and you’ll reap what you sow. Why ruin your joy!

Or, join me in celebrating every year of your life, without letting age get in your way. It’s YOUR choice how you perceive it.

I’ll begin my birthday celebration on Friday night and then celebrate all day on Saturday. Maybe Sunday too! But honestly, I try to celebrate every day as a new one. Saturday is the first day in the next year of my wonderful life. Not the beginning of another year closer to the end. It’s so much nicer to live in joy than fear or depression that you bring on yourself by expecting negatives.

I’m the same person no matter what my age. Universe—I’m ready for the next great year of my life! Bring it on!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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