Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Law of Attraction in Action: Positive Spirits & Reactions

This is post 56 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.



How do you respond to annoying incidents? Do you let your job get to you and other people can feel it by your behavior? When someone makes a mistake, do you bristle and growl at them? Does your job get to you so much that it shows in how you speak to others?

An irritable reaction to circumstances can attract irritable spirits from others.

I admit that I do this. Things take their toll, especially if we’re stressed. I might be in a hurry and someone gets in my way and I want to smack them. While I don’t, I sometimes smack them with a look or sound. Then I feel irritable. And the person who got in my way may feel irritable from my nasty look or comment. Last week, 2 incidents made me more conscious of how we affect others and why it’s better to be positive about negative stuff.

Our moods can be like a virus that spreads from person to person.

Last week I called my health insurance company with a problem about billing. I’m used to a fairly low energy person answering. Instead, the woman was perky and friendly. I was actually taken aback and said responded that it was so nice to hear a cheerful person. She said that it was better to feel happy than down. Her voice was like a song compared to others I’ve spoken to. The rest of our interaction put me into a fantastic mood and I gave her back the same good energy. I was a bit tired when I called but hung up feeling better.

Positive energy attracts positive energy.

I am usually in a reasonably good mood and became more conscious of how it affects those around me. I’m always friendly to the people who work in my building and they’re very friendly and helpful to me. When I first moved in, I thought they were that way to everyone, but noticed they were more low-key with many of the tenants. One person would get a formal hello and then I’d come in behind them and say hi and get a big smile, because my energy attracts it.

Consciousness about how you treat others, and making an effort to treat them with good vibes, brings good vibes back to you.


Not long after my call to the friendly woman, I was riding on the subway with a lot of bags. When I got up to get off, a woman came toward me. I didn’t see her in time to avoid knocking my bags into her. I immediately said, “I’m sorry” in a sincere way and was delighted when she gave me a big smile and said, “no problem. It was an accident.” I’ve growled at people for doing that to me and probably put them into a bad mood. Yet this woman’s graciousness brought a smile to my face.

Being on the receiving end of good energy has shown me how important it is to be friendly and courteous to others, and keep a bad mood in check.

Graciousness can be contagious. And can spread it to others. When I give good cheer on the phone, I almost always get it back from that person, and others. If I force a good attitude when someone accidentally does something annoying, it make what happened easier to deal with and often attracts a smile from the other person. Being on the receiving end of it was a great reinforcement for treating people with a pleasant demeanor and excusing faults.

Calling a customer service person with a friendly attitude can attract a lot better service.

Any time you show friendliness makes YOU feel better. Be aware of your response. Grouchy doesn’t feel good. Growling can get growls in return. Graciousness gives you the best chance of attracting it back. It also feels better to give out. The more you consciously do it, the more it will become a natural part of your demeanor. A good demeanor towards others will truly make you feel happier. It sure has for me!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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Living “Aimlessly”

I confess, I watch The Hills. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don’t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. Her career as a reality TV star has expanded and she’s on many TV shows and often in celebrity news.
Usually I don’t learn life lessons on The Hills. But I did on the last episode last season.

It was Lauren Conrad’s last show. She went in to talk to her boss, Kelly Cutrone, about trying to figure out what she should do next with her career. Lauren knew what she’d done already but didn’t know where to go next. Kelly suggested “je voudrais flâner,” a French expression for “to walk around aimlessly with out a plan.”

Most of us plan, or even over-plan our existence, since planning gives us control.

Or so we think, anyway. When you plan, you know what’s probably going to happen. You take a certain job at what you think is the right time, get married for the same reasons, or whatever else you map out as your life. “To walk around aimlessly with out a plan” can seem scary. Uncertain. Irresponsible. Downright crazy to some.

Yet walking around aimlessly with out a plan can help you see what there is in life.

It helps you stop to smell the rose, to use a cliché expression. And you get to see what possibilities there are, which you’re free to explore since you have no plan they’d have to fit in to. I’m sure that Lauren is financially set enough to take time off from working if she wanted to. More of us aren’t. But you can still walk around aimlessly in every aspect of your life but what pays the rent.

Think about how you’d feel with a blank day planner, at least for a week. Less pressure? A sense of loss? Or giddy at the idea of time, like I feel.

Fear of being lonely can make that an awful thought, but it’s really fun to kind of wing your time. A whole weekend with no plans can lead to finding fun things to do at the last minute that you’ve never thought to do before. It can show you that your own company can be fun. You might meet someone new in your aimless travels. And you might discover something you’re passionate about that can lead to a career change.

Being locked into a one-way life may give you control, but it’s control of things that can limit you. Faith is the antidote!

Faith allows you to try living at least some of the time without a plan. When you trust that you’ll be guided to what’s best for your highest good, you can fly by the seat of your pants, at least a little. If you never do, you can miss out on opportunities that can be life-changing or make you happier than what you planned to have. I thought about “je voudrais flâner” and realized it’s how I’ve lived for years.

Allowing yourself to be guided, instead of always trying to guide your destiny, makes for the happiest life! And, the least disappointment, since you can’t have problems following your plan if you have none. ?

I drive some people crazy when I go on a trip. I might know the city or country I’m heading to but when they ask what I’ll do I say I’ll find it when I get there. Of course I get some info and may have things I want to see. But no plans. I hate taking tours or doing what I’m supposed to do in a city. I like to travel solo so I can figure out what to do as it comes to me from being there.

Living “je voudrais flâner” teaches you the benefits of being spontaneous. It can lead you to things you didn’t know existed.

I do this with my career too. I’ve no day job since I left DoorMatville. Before that my life was methodically planned. Now I have no steady income or plan for what I’m going to write. As I finished up my last book, I looked up and asked for something good to come. It did! I’m now writing a book that I could have never planned to write, but that is an amazing opportunity that I love doing. Had I planned more, my time wouldn’t have been wide-open to do it.

I have NO DOUBT that God leads my path to live “je voudrais flâner.”

Try to leave some time—on a weekend, after work, etc.—unplanned. Be spontaneous. Live in the moment and let yourself be guided. Ask to be. I always look up and ask for what I want, or for my next step, or a direction to walk in. I’m always led somewhere good. Ya never know where it can lead!!

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Law of Attraction in Action: Positive Words

This is post 55 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.



One of the best lessons I learned about the Law of Attraction is to always make sure I frame what a want using positive words. It makes a BIG difference in what you attract. The Universe picks up on our thoughts—literally. It doesn’t interpret what we want or make judgments about what we say. It hears the words, which is why there’s a big emphasis in Law of Attraction teachings about watching your thoughts and what you say you want.


What you think can be what you get—literally.


It’s obvious that if you feel down and say, “Woe is me” that woe will be you. “Everything goes wrong for me” makes more things go wrong. I understood that and watched those thoughts. Just as getting into a habit of doing that can take a while, the more you become aware of what you think and say, the more you’ll recognize how you sabotage yourself without meaning to by using negative words.


I learned that it’s critical to use positive words for EVERYTHING you put out as a desire or expectation. The Universe will pick up on a negative in what you think is a positive statement. Even if you mean it in a positive way, the Universe won’t stop to interpret it. For example:


· My back no longer hurts.” Your hurting back will come back to you! Instead, say, “My back feels great.” That attract your back to feel great.


· I won’t date any more toxic people!” Sounds good but sends “toxic people” out and back to you. “I’ll only date healthy people” gives you a better chance of breaking romantic patterns.


· I am getting out of debt!” In or out, you send debt out as what you attract. It’s more fruitful to say, “I’m becoming financially solvent.” That helps you get out of debt.


· My next sales won’t fall though anymore like they’ve been doing!” Oh yes they will if you say it that way! Instead, try, “I only attract sales that go through.” Then allow yourself to be guided to them.


It’s not as easy to do as it sounds. It’s so normal so say what you don’t want anymore instead of using positive words. You must be really vigilant of what you say until you get the hang of it, like riding a bike. You fall a few times, then shakily get it and then it becomes more automatic. I’d affirm something and later realized the words I used would attract negatives. That made me a bit more conscious for the next time.


The more conscious I got, the faster I caught myself until I got into the habit of using appropriate words.


As my manifesting improved with my choice of words, I had more motivation to choose them carefully. Think of it as a game—the game of manifesting! The rules are only positive words. The goals are to make sure you find good ones to replace negatives. The prize? Manifesting what you want!


See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.


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No More Long Term Disappointment!

My last post for my Law of Attraction in Action series discussed disappointment and what we can attract when we feel it. I heard from a lot of people and wanted to add a few points to the topic.

Disappointment is a negative emotion that doesn’t feel good.

Negative emotions can hurt your health while positive ones enhance it. It’s your CHOICE to feel long term negative ones. It’s normal to feel disappointment when things don’t go your way. I don’t advocate just pushing it away when something you were hoping for or expecting doesn’t come through. That’s not healthy either! Work though it and then move on:

Acknowledge your disappointment. Think about what happened, how you feel and why it feels so bad. Write down what it means to you if necessary to work through your feelings. It’s okay to feel disappointed and have that lead to sadness. Fighting it keeps it alive. But it’s also important to keep it in perspective!

Talk it over with a friend. Someone sympathetic and positive can help you work through your feelings. Express how you feel and why. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you helps you let your sadness go.

Don’t share your feelings with someone negative or who likes to dwell on them! They’ll just rehash your pain instead of encouraging you to look ahead to better things. Negative types can make you feel worse. Be selective about who you turn to.

Allow your sadness to surface and grieve. Have a cry. It’s okay to feel down for a day or two as what happened sinks in. It’s when it becomes entrenched in your mood that it will be a problem. Soothe yourself with thoughts of other things in your life that are good.

Ask yourself if you prefer to feel positive or negative. So simple! It’s your choice to feel bad or move on and find things to feel good about. When I feel like that, I clean, to take back control. I always feel better! Recite your blessings. Find what triggers you to snap out of a bad mood and use it.

Accept that things happen for a reason and move on. When your faith is real, you can trust it will all work out for your highest good. Trying this and seeing it works is the best medicine for overcoming disappointment. Finding the reasons for what happened however far down the road is super empowering!

After my last post I heard from Brenda, who told me a story that I asked if I could share. She went to parochial grade school. When they felt disappointed, one of the nuns told the students not to be and not to think God wasn’t answering their prayers. Brenda still remembers the nun saying:

“God did answer your prayer. He said NO because he knew it wasn’t for our well being at that time…”

As the Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want.” And that’s okay. Not getting what you want helps you appreciate when you do. Acceptance is a key to moving past disappointment. Even for big things, God has a plan, even if it’s not the one you so desperately wanted. When you can accept that, it’s easier to let go of disappointment and leave more room for being happy!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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