Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

This is post 82 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

People tell me they ask God for what they want. I tell them not to and they look at me like I’m crazy. After all, I strongly believe that God gives us the support we need, so how can I say that you shouldn’t ask God for what you want????

Asking implies a choice. When you ask the answer could be yes or no. The Law of Attraction responds best to a clear, definite intention.

“May I have more money” shows you think it may or may not happen. “God, please help me make more money” also indicates you’re hoping to get it with doubt. “I intend to have more money! Thanks in advance for your support!” sets the intention for the Law of Attraction to work with to get you more money. Some of this is just semantics. But your choice of words does affect the response you get. I believe with all my heart that God wants us to get what we want. But it’s important to be very clear about what you expect.

The Law of Attraction works best when you expect it to already be in the pipeline to happen and you give thanks for it like you know it’s happening.

There’s no doubt when you say thanks in advance for what’s coming. I do this in every avenue of my life. When I have a meeting with an important editor or with someone I want to use my services, I say “Thanks for the meeting going well.” “When I have tickets for an outdoor show, I say, “Thanks for the weather being good for sitting outside.” Even when I’m nervous about circumstance or the unknown, I’ll say, “thanks for it all working out fine!” Pleading for help expresses fear and doubt.

“This is what I intend to have. Thank you for supporting my intention.” says you know you have what you need.

The Law of Attraction hears that message loud and clear. No doubt or fear. It says was you expect and you’re grateful knowing that you have it. People question how I could say thanks for what I haven’t manifested yet. Easy! What you expect may not be evident yet but it is in the process of coming to you. Your doctor may be concerned about a serious health problem you might have. But your body may be responding to your positive statement and working towards a state of good health so your test is negative in a week.

Things go on that you can’t see or know about that influences the outcome of what you want. Saying thanks for a positive one puts the wheels in motion for it to be positive.

The weatherman may predict rain in the morning. But giving thanks for good weather can make his prediction wrong! You may not feel the change in the direction of the winds or see the clouds break up 10 miles away when you’re saying thanks as if you already have it. But it could be happening without you knowing it. The only important thing you must see is the clear skies when you’re out enjoying the show.

Intentions begin the process of manifesting. It can take time to get what you give thanks for.

You might need time to get ready or a better opportunity may not be available yet. But continuing to give thanks for it as being already in the pipeline of manifesting for you fuels it to happen at the right time. Be patient! Don’t question if what you want will happen. When I first began affirming that I had a living space that I loved and giving thanks for it, I hated where I lived. I also didn’t know where I wanted to be or how I’d get there. Yet I kept giving thanks for living in a place I loved.

It took over a year for some events to happen that jostled me to move, though I still didn’t know where to move to.

I remember the day I realized that I’d manifested the perfect apartment in the perfect location at the perfect time. Events that I couldn’t have planned for happened that led me here. I was frustrated when I couldn’t find a place in the area I’d decided I should live. Every apartment fell through or I found faults that made me pass. Then someone said a friend was looking to rent a place that I’d love. I knew nothing about the area and almost didn’t go look, but something pushed me to. Now I can’t imagine being happier anywhere else! Giving thanks for finding the perfect space–and accepting guidance–led me to it!

I know it’s hard to say thanks for what you don’t have yet but try it with faith. And keep giving thanks! If you don’t lose hope because you didn’t get instant gratification, you can eventually see the fruits of your gratitude.

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Whether it’s a workshop I’m attending or one I’m speaking at, I notice a dynamic in where people sit. I can often tell many things about people from their choice. It can reflect your view of yourself, your level of confidence, and how serious you are about the workshop you attend. When I come to hear a speaker or panel and it’s to something that interests me strongly, I sit near the front. When it’s not of great interest, I’ll sit further back and on the end so I can leave early if I don’t like it.

When you sit near the front, you make your presence more known, if only in your mind.

Many people say they prefer to sit in the back to be more invisible, even if the event is important to them. They don’t want to be noticed. Nor are they likely to ask questions. Talking to them, it’s obvious they don’t have good self-esteem. They’re at the event and that’s enough. But walk to the front and maybe do something that gets them attention, no way!

When you don’t feel good about yourself or your confidence is low, you’re more like to stay in the back of the room, and in life.

I can get a little crazy when I’m about to speak and people are sitting all the way in the back when there are many seats still open in the front. I often joke that I don’t bite or have bad breath and encourage them to move forward. Many do, almost like they needed permission to come closer. When I was a DoorMat, I always sat in the back. I was scared of the unknown and couldn’t pinpoint what made me so uncomfortable about sitting closer to the speaker. Maybe I’d cough and people would look? Or they’d point me out or ask me to come up to demonstrate something. Goodness knows why! I just believed I had to fade into the background.

Sitting in the back at an event that’s meaningful to you can reinforce how you see your place in the world.

Not all events are meaningful. Sometimes I attend industry panels more for the networking. I sit near the back so I can more easily slip away to get more food or drink.? But if you do go to learn, consider where you situate yourself. It’s not necessary to sit in the first row, but try to be in one of the first few if you can get a seat. There are advantages in doing so:

• You’ll connect better with the speaker when you can look into his/her eyes and feel their energy.

• Even if the person has a microphone, you’ll hear them better watching them speak up close. Their presence gets the message across better.

• You’re forced to pay better attention when you sit close. This is why some people prefer the back. If this is you, ask why you’re there in the first place if you don’t want to get the most you can out of the talk.

• You’ll feel more confident having done that. Sitting up close makes you feel more a part of the presentation than straining to hear or see from the back.

• If you do have a question, it’s more comfortable to raise your hand and ask when you sit close and can see the speaker well.

Even for meetings at work, it’s good to sit somewhere that you can make direct eye contact with the person leading a meeting or discussion. Speakers like seeing people nod their head in agreement when they say something or have a reaction of some sort. That increases the connection between you. And at work, it can make a good impression when you confidently take a seat near the boss (as long as there’s no protocol for where to sit).

If you tend to sit in the back or the furthest seat from the person running a meeting, ask yourself why.

Do a mental check up and see if you can figure out the reason. What are you afraid of if you sit closer? Or do you feel you’re not worthy of sitting up front? Is it a habit created by older insecurities? Sometimes we begin doing it in school and the habit carries into adulthood without realizing it. Maybe you want to dissolve into the room because you don’t care about what’s being said. But if you do, try sitting a little closer next time and get more comfortable with moving up.

I used to sit in the back when I was a DoorMat to be invisible. I’m not even sure what worried me but it was automatic to enter a room full of people and look for a seat in the back to melt into. I felt so lousy about me that I assumed I should keep a distance from the speakers. Now I sit in one of the first few rows and get soooo much more out of hearing a talk or panel discussion than I did straining to see what was going on from the back of the room.

Think before you sit at an event where you can sit anywhere!

When I give a talk I always connect more with the people sitting closer to me. I remember years ago when I was speaking, a guy walked in late. There were seats in the back but he unabashedly walked to the front and sat in the empty seat in the first row. His confidence radiated to everyone as he owned his right to sit in the front. People flocked to him in the break. This guy went on to develop a great career. I figured he would! Even if your confidence is low, fake it as you take your seat.

Moving up to the front of the room can filter into other avenues of your life.

When I sat a few rows closer than usual I felt good to break out of my back of the room hideout. As I moved closer to the front for each event I attended, I realized how much more I enjoyed presentations when I could see the person clearly and feel his or her energy. Next time you go to hear someone speak, be a bit brazen and sit right up front. Pack a smile and you’ll find that it can be empowering!

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This is post 81 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

In my last post, Joy in Time for YOU, I talked about the benefits of giving yourself some time off. That helps you do more on in the following days. Another important reason for making time for YOU is that it sends a powerful message to the Law of Attraction—that you are worthy of being rested and having positive well-being.

When you don’t value your time and recognize that making quality time for YOU supports your well-being, it sends a message that it’s okay for you to not feel good. Guess what you get?

It’s NEVER okay to not feel good. Sometimes stuff happens and you have no choice but to get through a super busy time. I get those too often. But these days, even at my crazy busiest, I look down the road of life to make plans for time off. This doesn’t mean you have to go somewhere or do something special. Last weekend I just stayed in bed for hours, watching mindless reruns of reality TV and doing word puzzles or playing a video game as I watched.

It doesn’t matter how you decompress and refresh as long as you do it!

When I lived in DoorMatville,, my time was something I gave away freely. Anyone who needed a piece only had to ask. Because I gave it no value, I continued attracting things that drained my time and wondered why I was always so unhappy. I’d heard you’re supposed to find joy in giving to others. Why didn’t that happen for me? Because I gave without valuing my time and didn’t include me in the giving of my time.

Carl Sandburg said, “Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful, lest you let other people spend it for you.”

Your time truly is as valuable as your money and should be doled out carefully. We make budgets for our bank accounts and should do the same with the hours we have each day. You know I don’t advise going from one extreme to the other—stop giving time to others and keeping it all for yourself. I still like helping others when I can. The “when I can” is the key. Some weeks I can do more than others. During others, when work is intensive, I must save any spare time for my own activities.

The more you use time for your own needs and well-being, the more you often can give to others.

I’m not commitment-phobic with men but I am commitment-phobic with my time these days. I hesitate to make plans that will occupy a whole day or take me out of town or that I must be somewhere on the same day weekly, which is why I’ve turned down offers to teach a 15-week college course. When I commit to something that can’t be changed, it means I’m not free to take advantage of an opportunity that could crop up at the last minute.

The more I value my time, the more benefits I attract from time spent on me.

I was often tired as a DoorMat but plodded on. Now I stop to smell the roses as the saying goes. Life feels better when I take care of me. Budgeting enough time for you tells the Universe you value your time, and yourself. Your intention is to do things that make you feel good, and you attract more ways to feel good! Self-value is a crucial message to send out to the Universe. It creates a strong magnetic draw for improving your well-being.

Be flexible in setting a time budget. Make plans with and for others, while blocking out some to just be. Do WHATEVER you’d like to do, guilt-free!

I love an occasionally day of not getting dressed since I won’t be going out. Pick your own pleasure and indulge, not matter what other might think. Respect how important and valuable your time is so you don’t fritter it away on autopilot. Stop to smell your own roses, or play with your kids or take a walk or visit loved ones or vege out all morning or a gazillion other things that might make you feel good. The important thing is to do something.

Making time for you is another one of what I call gifts to yourself.

If you need motivation, remind yourself that you can’t get any time back after it’s passed. I look at each day as a gift now. You can too, if you create the consciousness to do so. Every day is a new beginning that you can choose to waste, give away, or make the most of. I like the last option. Making the most of a day is individual to each person. It’s your choice to spend your time wisely, in ways that feel satisfying on a personal level and increase your happiness!

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I haven’t posted for days. I had to help someone out and had no time to get to my computer to write. The rest of the time I was exhausted and decided I needed time to just chill. And I did, wonderfully! Today I feel so much more refreshed!

It’s important to honor your needs and sometimes cancel plans or allow yourself to skip things you “should do” in order to take care of YOU.

Sometimes we have to work extra hard or help someone we care about, and that’s okay. But there comes a time that running on fumes doesn’t work. Feeling exhausted and drained shouldn’t be a way of life, or even go on for more than a few days. I know my limits and while I must go beyond at times, I try not to do it too often. And, when I’m done with obligations, I take some time to get my energy back.

Taking a break can put you back in the game to be a lot more productive than running on empty and hurting your health.

Be vigilant about pushing yourself too hard and for too long. It’s hard to function at full capacity when you’re burnt out. Taking a day or two can revitalize you and help you feel better. That allows you to get a lot more done. Yesterday I was dragging all day and found it hard to enjoy the glorious weather. Today I’m energized and catching up on a lot of things. Cleaned a bit this morning. I’m writing this outdoors to really enjoy the day. I even plan to run tonight.

A day to chill is a joyous gift to you and an essential component of having good health and high energy.

Enjoy your day! Cut yourself slack in doing chores or meeting obligations. When I was a DoorMat, everyone else mattered more than me. Now I matter most to me—not at the expense of others but in a loving way that allows me to do more for them in the long run. When you’re healthy and whole you have more to give. Be kind to yourself. Every day for at least a few minutes and for a large chunk of of a day regularly.

Being rested allows you to get a lot more done.

I wish those of you who are celebrating Easter or Passover a blessed holiday! When you can, give yourself the blessing of some time for YOU.

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