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Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Bio

Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement™ where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men¹s Health.

After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal!

Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.

Ditch the Victim Mentality

A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill […]

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Standing Up for Yourself

You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop […]

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Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself

This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

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Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers

George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser who catered to others, with little reciprocation. […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”

This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Get Heard!


We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how we present our thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention […]

Get Good Customer Service

Do you complain about customer service people? If you were brought up to avoid causing problems, you may keep your mouth shut about bad service or defective products, and complain to friends. Reaching a person instead of an automated voice […]

Are You Willing to be Different Enough to Have a Great Relationship?

I’m happy to have Dr. Dain Heer back as a guest today.He’s an internationally acclaimed speaker and human behavior thought leader. Dain travels the world, coaching audiences and facilitating classes that teach people to access their own awareness and knowing, empowering them […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Labeling Things That Happen with Negatives

This is post 288 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  […]

Coping with Criticism

Criicism seems to be a natural part of life. There are many people who think they’re helping you by poining out that you’ve gained a few pounds, or you’re not doing a good job ast something, or your clohing doesn’t […]

You Can’t Buy Love

Love isn’t a product, like shoes, or lemons. Yet people pleasers try to buy it with favors and being agreeable. I did whewn I was a DoorMat! And like many women, I was under the erroneous belief that if I […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Delegating Responsibility

This is post 287 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Teaching People How to Treat You

I’m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person’s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect. When you don’t stop someone from hurting […]

Autonomy vs. Dependency

Today I’m thrilled to have my friend Dr. Tina Tessina back as my guest. She’s  the author of 13 books including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page); How to Be a Couple and Still […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Adding Power to Your Manifesting

This is post 139 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Speak Up and Save Money

I recently went to find new sandals online. I know the brand I love and did a search for them. I found a site that gave me a window of a variety of shoes for the brand I wanted. At […]

What Does Your Face Tell Others?

Today my guest is Adam J. Scheiner, M.D., ian international Oculoplastic surgeon. Dr. Scheiner is world-renowned in laser eyelid and facial plastic surgery for his groundbreaking treatment for Festoons. He wrote the medical text on the condition and treated two complex […]

What You Think vs. What Others Think

  People pleasers often let others think for them. You may not realize you’re doing it. You might tell a friend that you want to see a certain movie and get told you won’t like it. When you hear that […]

Do You Refuse to See Your Truth?

Years ago I had a friend who had HUGE issues, but to him, everything was fine. His friends had given up on getting him into therapy. He insisted he could handle stuff himself. And he did, with lots of alcohol, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Stress

This is post 286 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Say a Prayer on Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day in the U.S. It’s a day to remember who lost their lives while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. I think it’s important to honor the memories of those brave folks who gave their lives to […]

Façades

I’ve learned that many people put on facades, when he/she is overcompensating for insecurity. Since I work with a lot of people, I get to see what’s behind the facades and how what they project isn’t who they are. People […]

Are You Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

Do you suffer from chronic pain? Many people do. Today I’m happy to have  Janet Komanchuk, as my guest. She’s a retired schoolteacher who has experienced the miraculous remission of chronic, debilitating fibromyalgia, which was the result of many overlapping […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Changing Your Vibration by Bringing in More Joy

This is post 285 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Standing Tall for Confidence

In my recent post, Stand Tall, I talked about how confident I feel when I focus on having good posture. By standing straight, arching my shoulders and holding my head high, people have a very positive impression of me. Your […]

Get Rid of Your “Not Good Enoughs”

When I was a DoorMat, I let people walk all over me. I jumped to do favors for everyone. I agreed to do what other people wanted to do. Other people ran my life for me. All because I believed […]

Is It Time to Put Meat Back on the Menu?

Eating meat has gotten a bad rap in the past years. Yet then we hear about its benefits. It can get very confusing. That’s why I’m thrilled to have Michael Fenster, M.D., F.A.C.C., FSCA&I, PEMBA, as my guest today. He’s […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Focusing on a Solution


This is post 284 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Own Your Future

I had a dream about going to Banff in Canada and Montana since I was a teen and a cousin went on an adventure there. He showed me his pictures and they blew me away. I had to go too! […]

9 Reasons Why Its’ Nice to Say “NO!”

Many people are scared to say “no because they were taught to be nice sand think it’s not nice to turn people down. Both women and men say they feel obligated to agree to requests. Yet they don’t like feeling […]

Tips for Becoming a Mllionaire

Have you ever thought about how great it would be to be a millionaire? I’m sure most of you have. That’ss why I’m happy to have Jaime Tardy, the author of The Eventual Millionaire: How Anyone Can Be an Entrepreneur […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I Have It!”

This is post 283 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Do You Lie to Yourself?

You know it’s not good to lie yet often we lie to ourselves. That might sound ridiculous but we do. Some people may see it as deluding yourself but when you tell yourself something that you know isn’t true, it’s […]

Courage to Be You

I grew up hearing about what females are “supposed to do.” My friends and I pretended we were brides when I was young. It was a goal we all aspired to achieve. We played with our dolls to practice being […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Getting a Break

This is post 282 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stand Tall

I believe in the importance of having good posture. The good thing is it’s easy to fake! Standing up straight and tall is a good habit to create for many reasons. One is that it helps you to feel better […]

Question: Why Do Friends Judge What Makes Me Happy?

A reader, who I’ll call Sandy, wrote to say she was making progress with doing what she wanted but her friends and family continued too judge her choices. Sandy pared down her lifestyle so she could quit her good job […]

Keeping Your Emotions Out of your Finances

I talk a lot about how your emotions affect what you manifest. They can also affect how you handle your money. My guest today is Matthew T. Shafer, author of The Future of Your Wealth.  He’s a graduate of American […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Making the Best of What Happens

This is post 281 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Rewriting Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I borrowed it for the title of the book I’m giving away through The Self-Love Movement™—How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. […]

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely

Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. […]

A Wake Up Call

Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst

This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To

We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not doing something. Your words can keep you […]

Are You a Needy People Magnet?

Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did […]

Overcoming Obstacles–interview with Jenn London

Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter and a self-love ambassaador for The Self-Love Movement™. She’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of her life, from  childhood obesity to immense family tragedy. Her […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Fear of Technology

This is post 279 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Carry Self-Praise in Your Wallet

As you try to build self-love, you can forget how terrific you are. You are terrific! It can be helpful to carry a list of some of your assets around with you in your wallet, like you carry pictures of […]

Give Yourself Permission to Express Yourself

I encounter many people who share that they’re scared to express how they feel to friends, family, work colleagues, etc. Some don’t know why they’re scared. Not knowing what the results might be can cause the greatest fear. Fear of […]

Be the Boss of Your Own Life

Today my guest is, Lynda Chervil author of “Fool’s Return,”  a new novel that incorporates valuable life lessons in a page-turning tale that touches on technology, the green movement, and other aspects of contemporary society. She graduated from New York […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Trusting the Process

This is post 278 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

10 Tips for Getting Comfortable with Saying “NO!”

I was recently at a motivational event. The speaker asked people in the audience to share something special they’d done. One woman said she began to say “no” occasionally. Everyone applauded this feat. Women are known for being overly agreeable. […]

Imperfectly Pleasing

DoorMats go out of their way to please everyone, trying to be a perfect people pleaser. That’s what I did when I lived in DoorMatville. I was always trying to be the perfect little pleaser to insure that everyone would […]

How Do You Handle Chaotic Times?

As spring slowly begins make an appearance as the winter tries to hang on, we’re getting out more. This can make life feel a bit chaotic as we try to catch up after a long winter. There are times of […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I Have to Take the Good With the Bad.”

This is post 277 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Getting Heard

We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how you present your thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention […]

Who Have You Made God?

A woman recently told me with pride how after reading my book, All Men Are Jerks until Proven Otherwise, she was able to leave Jack, her boyfriend who she had put up on a pedestal as imperative to be with. […]

Has the Economy Changed Your Work-Life Balance?

Do you feel like your life is changing with the changing economy? It can really throw off your work-life balance. Today my guest is Bob Epperly, author of Growing Up After Fifty: From Exxon Executive to Spiritual Seeker,. He worked […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Selfishness

This is post 276 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

My Little Teapot

Years ago I did a driving trip in Canada solo and stayed mainly in Bed & Breakfasts. A special part of my day was coming home after hiking and other outdoor activities, relaxing in the parlor and being offered a […]

Do You Need Everyone to Like You?

I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. So did my friends. Did you? It’s a common belief, especially for girls. And wanting this is what turns us into DoorMats/people pleasers. When I was on Oprah, […]

From March Madness to Happiness

It’s been a long winter for many of us. I’m sick of being cooped up because of snowstorms and frigid temperatures. As the March weather gets better, there will be a lot of catching up to do. I think women […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Resistance vs. Wrong Path

This is post 275 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Taking care of #1

When I was a DoorMat I eventually got tired of feeling like I was last in line to get my needs met so I ben to put my own needs first when people asked for favors.  Needless to say, it […]

A Message from Archangel Michael

I’m delighted to have my friend and Self-Love Ambassador,  Dr. Joy S. Pedersen, CEO and Founder of Express Success,, as my guest today. She’s a Licensed Spiritual Healer and Certified Spiritual Health Coach and Doctor of Divinity, who channels God, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Struggling

This is post 274 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

“Could” vs. “Should”

Recently I got free tickets to a show at the last minute and called a friend who I thought would enjoy it to invite her to join me.  At first she was excited but then she said she “should” stay […]

The Power of Silence

Do you feel uncomfortable  when you’re with someone and there’s silence? Many of us feel a need to fill the void that it seems like silence creates I used to be like that. When I was a DoorMat, before I […]

Using Mindfulness in Business

I’m thrilled to have Stephen Josephs, Ed. D,as my guest today.With more than 30 years experience as an executive coach and consultant, he helps leaders build vitality and focus to make their companies profitable – and great places to work. […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Abundance vs. Money

This is post 273 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  […]

Learn to Trust Yourself

Trust is an important quality that we look for in others. It can be hard to trust if someone you trusted has betrayed you, or lied, or not done what they promised. But the one person you can count on […]

Keeping an Eye on Yourself

Self-awareness I crucial for making changes that can empower you. If you’re not aware of habits that hold you back, they’ll continue to hold you back. When you want to make changes, you need to assess what to change. That […]

Soothing Yourself

What do you do when you get anxious? Do you work yourself up and make yourself feel worse? Or are you loving to you? My guest today has a technique you can try. Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist in Portland, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Facing Troubles

This is post 272 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Doing Good vs. You

Sometimes you have to make a choice between what’s best for someone else and what’s best for you. You may want to do what you see as ”the right” thing for someone even if it goes against what you’d like. […]

Be Your Own Valentine Today!

I was just talking to a guy about Valentine’s Day and was surprised when he said he dreaded February 14th. There was no special woman in his life and he and his buddies would probably drown their sorrows about not […]

Building More Meaningful Friendships

Studies show that having good friends can be healthy for you. Yet these days, with people spending more time adding “friends” to their Facebook page, personal connections don’t get the attention they should have. Today my guest is Dawna Hetzler, […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Beliefs about Meeting a Romantic Partner

This is post 271 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Stopping Your Saboteurs

You try to improve your life and are determined to stick to your diet, exercise regularly, get your spending under control, stop smoking or break another habit. You get your act together and your determination is strong. Everything is going […]

People Pleasing Anger

DoorMats/people pleasers often have a lot of reasons to be that way, most based on circumstances they bring on themselves. Pleasing everyone is a choice, not an obligation. But it’s common to get angry about the repercussions from it , […]

Self-Love & Forgiveness

Self-Love Month is over but I’ll continue posting abot sel-love.you should still be working on nourishing yours. Carrying anger around with you hurts you, which isn’t loving. The antidote is forgiveness. Today my guest is Self-Love Ambassador Alice McCall  In […]

Law of Attraction in Action: THE REASON for Good in Your Life

This is post 270 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  […]

31 Days of Self-Love 2014

Self-Love Month is over  but the love shouldn’t be!  it’s important to not forget the importance of giving yourself love as much as you can. If you haven’t already done do, I highly recommend you read my free book, How […]

Dreams Do Come True!: New Self-Love Video

It’s fun to dream, but not when you never see any results. It can get frustrating to want something you dream about and feel like it’s out of your reach. I’ve had many dreams that never materialized. Years ago, after […]

Do Unto Yourself as You Do for Others

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Most of us know the Golden Rule about how to treat others—Do unto […]

A True Self-Love Story

Today is Day 30 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I got this inspiring anecdote from Colleen Sheehy Orme, a freelance journalist.  I […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Giving Your Talents Away for Free

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 269 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Create a Self-Esteem Checklist

Today is Day 28 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Often your self-esteem is hurt by thinking about things you can’t do or […]

Write a Best Friend Manifesto

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It’s often advised that you should be your own best friend. It’s a […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2014 part 3

Today is Day 26 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some […]

I Love Me” Tip: List “Why I Deserve the Best.”

Today is Day 25 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Do you think you deserve the best? It’s common to have some niggling […]

Start an Inner Revolution

Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I say it often: In order to be happy, you have to work […]

Show Yourself Love with T’ai Chi

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I love energy work! T’ai chi has always fascinated me with its gentle […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Find Mental Mentors

Today is Day 22 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. If your confidence for doing something is low, find what I call mental […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Tapping for Better Self-Esteem

Today is Day 21 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™ This is post 268 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Why It’s Fun to Be Perfectly Imperfect

Today is Day 20 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Perfection. So many of us are taught that we should strive for that […]

What Do You Say When You Look at Yourself in the Mirror?

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. When I met cancer survivor an Self-Love Ambassador Cathy Hamilton, I was struck […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Finish One Thing

Today is Day 18 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. We often have little chores that we put off doing and not doing […]

Making Peace with YOU

Today is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. We hear about too many successful people who are dying from a drug […]

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2014

    Today is Day 16 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Affirm Self-Love

Today is Day 15 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Affirmations help your intentions to sink in. If you know you want to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I am worthy!”

Today is Day 14 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 267 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Love Your Tummy

Today is Day 13 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I weigh a bit less now than I have in over 20 years. […]

Is Falling in Love Always Good?

Today is Day 12 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Most people look forward to falling in love. But there are times when […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Love Your Heart

Today is Day 11 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and […]

Who Matters the Most?

Today is Day 10 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™.   Who matters the most to you? Be honest! There’s only one good […]

How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros 2014

Today is Day 9 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Say Kind, Reassuring Words to Yourself

Today is Day 8 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It’s so easy to put ourselves down, I talked about in my post […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Limits

Today is Day 7 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. This is post 266 in my series on the Law of Attraction in […]

Are You a Bully—to Yourself?

Today is Day 6 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. If anyone ever accused me of being a bully I’d immediately refute it. […]

Why You Should Improve Your Posture

Today is Day 5 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. I’ve always advised that practicing good posture is a confidence booster but recently […]

“I Love Me” Tip: Use Heat or Cold to Soothe Yourself

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. You can feel better by changing the temperature of things you use. In […]

Why Self-Acceptance Is the Most Delicious Dish

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. When you don’t accept yourself, it’s hard to love yourself. Seeing yourself through […]

From Thinking I Was a Piece of Crap to Loving Me

Today is Day 2 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™ Someone had to drag me to a mirror and make me really look […]

Happy 2014!

    Today is Day 1of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™. It’s a new year!! It’s also the start of Self-Love Month! If […]

Turn Regrets into Gratitude

Every decision you have made, for better or worse, has led to who you are today, hopefully a person who is wiser, stronger and more evolved than yesterday. ??It’s easy to feel ashamed of things you did years ago. We […]

Trade Resolutions for a Commitment to Yourself

Soon New Years’ resolutions will begin to be made. It can be fun to declare all of your wishes for the New Year. I used to enjoy the thrill of making make New Years resolutions every December. It was fun […]

What You Don’t Need

At the end of every year, I clean and get rid of everything I can to make room for more good stuff. The first time I did it, was hard. As I looked at all my stuff, how could I […]

Healing After Abuse

Sadly, there are many victims of abuse. And even if it stops, they’re is still victims unless they find a way to heal, which can be hard. Many of my clients who come to me for help in learning to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Holiday Hecticness

This is post 265 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Giving Presents vs. Presence

This is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved […]

9 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life

People seem to think that New Year can automatically bring change. We make resolutions like wishes with hope that the New Year wish fairy will make it happen. But then the year progresses and you’re disappointed that nothing good has […]

Be Nice Without Being a Pushover

I’ve been a fan of Doreen Virtue’s books for a while. That’s why I’m thrilled to have an excerpt from her new book, Assertiveness for Earth Angels:  How To Be Loving Instead of “Too Nice”, ( Hay House), available at […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Essence

This is post 264 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Deflecting Word Darts

Some folks can be mean, especially if they think you’re an easy target. People may say things to make you feel bad when they’re angry, or don’t like you, or are jealous, or, aren’t happy with their own lives. Their […]

Why Self-Absorption Isn’t Loving or Empowering

There’s a fine line between self-love/wanting to be an empowered person and self-absorption. It’s easy to get lost in new-found self-awareness and overcompensate with too much self-indulgence or act like no one else matters, which is unhealthy for friendship, whether […]

Connecting in a World of Isolation

Do you feel isolated in today’s busy climate? You can change that using the tips from my guest Christian E. Megrelis,  vice chair of the International Union of Economists, biblical scholar, and author of “Glossary of Hope,” a contemporary distillation […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Surrendering to What’s Happening

This is post 263 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle

When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we’re DoorMats and don’t want to start trouble. […]

Pride vs. Being Full of Yourself

Self-appreciation is a good quality.  It helps you build pride in yourself. I often recommend writing a list of all your good qualities and owning them to help build self-love. But self-appreciation and having strong pride doesn’t mean being full […]

Surviving Holiday Madness

Does the holiday season overwhelm you? On Monday I posted Calming Those Feeling of Being Overwhelmed. Now with the holiday season is in full swing, it can take busy to another level. So I’m happy to have Laura Vanderkam, author […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Pride

This is post 262 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Calming Those Feelings of Being Overwhelmed

We all go through those periods where it feels like life is dumping on you too much and you feel as if you’re drowning in things you need to do. It might even be good things, opportunities to advance your […]

How Is My Today?”

We all have a limited amount of days, yet people tend to take them for granted. When today is over it’s gone forever. Every day is worth getting excited about by making it special. If you really want to enjoy […]

A Day for Giving Thanks

Today is Thanksgiving in the US—a day to give thanks for our blessings. Even if you don’t live here, it’s a great day to look for blessings wherever you go and say thanks for each. It may feel silly to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Craving Instant Gratification

This is post 261 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Spend a Day Focused on Positives

How often do you complain about something or get a negative thought or get annoyed at something. Those can be like poison to your soul. Most people experience this every day, without realizing it. Yet subconsciously they bring you down. […]

Emotional Bondage

Some people thrive on drama. It almost feels like they create situations that feed negative emotions. I used to look for reasons to feel taken for granted or used when I was a DoorMat. For some reason I needed to […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Passion

This is post 260 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Start 2014 with a Commitment to YOU

Soon 2014 will be here. January can be a dreary month, depending on where you live. Yet most of us like the idea of starting the year on a positive note. That can be hard if your resolutions seem daunting […]

Describe Yourself

How would you describe yourself? Are you positive? Apologetic? Defensive about who you are? How you speak of yourself reflects self-image. If you speak in a less than positive manner, it’s harder to feel totally positive. Change your life by […]

Can There Be Beauty in Sorrow?

Beautiful Sorrow  is a true-life story memoir written by Jenn London, a talented singer/songwriter who I’ve know for many years as an upbeat go-getter. Yet reading her memoir showed me how well she’s overcome a multitude of sorrowful parts of […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Faith vs. Hope

This is post 259 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in […]

Do You Let People Know What They Mean to You?

As my parents got older, I made a point to let them know how much they meant to me. I rarely ended a phone call without saying, “I love you.” It meant a lot to them, and to me. When […]

Are You Putting a Dark Shadow Over Your Life?

Some people seem to thrive on worrying. It can seem as if they look for things to worry about. Are you one of those? Constant worrying is a happiness buster. It creates stress, which is detrimental to your health and […]

Watching Out for Psychological Abuse

I had a client who was both physically and mentally abused. She was beaten from childhood by her father and then by her first husband, throughout her marriage. Her second husband verbally abused her for a few years but she […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Seeing the Good in Others

This is post 258 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Watch the Attitude in Your Words

Do you want to have a positive persona and to feel positive? Listen to yourself. What attitude do you walk around with? It’s harder for people who often seem angry or who have a negative outlook to feel positive about […]

The 4 levels of DoorMat Emotions

Being a DoorMat is a conscious effort to gain approval or security. But unfortunately many of us don’t get those results when we do our best to please everyone. That’s why so many DoorMats are unhappy.  I was rarely happy […]

Conscious Creativity

To me using your creativity adds color and texture to your life. It can also help you overcome problems. That’s why I’m happy to have master floral designer, Kevin Joel Kelly, as my guest today. Kevin is also the author […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Huge Goals

This is post 257 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Why Pleasure Does Not Equal Happiness

Do you think that having lots experiences of pleasure will make you happy? That’s an erroneous belief that gets people into trouble. Often when I ask clients if they’re happy, and why, those who say they are tell me about […]

Affirming Boundaries

I know how hard it can be to say ‘No” after you’ve been a people pleaser for years and people expect an automatic “Yes” to favors from you. But it’s also exhilarating to say it and know that you’re off […]

Physicians Tips To Prevent And Correct Signs of Aging

Most of us want to age well. I love looking much younger than my age. I credit it to what I put inside me, in terms of getting the vitamins for my body. Taking good care of yourself is a […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Goal Trauma

This is post 256 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Appreciating Life After a Death

As we get older, it’s more likely that people we know will pass away. When my mom moved to a senior community, the downside was that people around her were older and she heard about too many people dying. It […]

“I Choose”

How many times have you said you wanted to do something but just didn’t do it. Maybe you really want to go to the gym a few times a week but never even get your sneakers out. Or you want […]

Do You Want a New Job?

Karen Okulicz, author of three highly regarded career books— the author of three motivational pocket books—Try!  A Survival Guide to Unemployment; Decide!How to Make Any Decision; and Attitude!For Your Best Lived Life—says if you answer five key questions, you can set […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Hidden Agendas

This is post 255 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Be the Master of You Fate and Captain of your Soul

Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance ?I have not winced […]

Are You an Introvert or Shy?

Many of my clients tell me that they’re shy yet they’re outgoing and it confuses them. I think of myself s shy too. I recently heard an interesting discussion on The Today Show about the difference between being shy and […]

Make a Date with Your Soul

In you fast-paced world it can be hard to slow on and tune ino you. Today my guest is Noelle M. Meade-Izzi is the author of “The Hummingbird That Answered My Heart’s Calling,” a full-color photo-book that tells the story […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I Have Enough”

This is post 254 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Who You Are vs. Who You’re “Supposed To Be”

Who are you striving to be? Following in the footsteps of a family member or creating your own footprints. I encounter too many unhappy people who are trying to be what they think they’re “supposed to be” and feel negative […]

Breaking Procrastination Patterns

Procrastination is a habit that many of us have. I definitely do it! Yet it holds you back when you allow it to control what you do, or don’t do. I saw this video of Vik Nithy speaking at TEDxYouth  […]

Writer-Adventurer Offers Tips for Expanding Your Horizons

We all have choices—stay in your current patterns or break away and try something new. I believe that life is an adventure—as much s you make it. Today my guest is Marshall Chamberlain, a man focused on his passions, like I […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Use EFT (Tapping) to Clear Resistance

This is post 253 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Controlling Your Response

Often we respond to situations automatically and aren’t aware of things we do that might be unhealthy, especially with people you’re close to like a romantic partner, your mom, a best friend, close work colleague, etc.  After years of being […]

Have You Ever Watched the Sun Rise?

 Some people drink alcohol or take medication to calm down. Those may temporarily give you relief from symptoms, but when the effect wear off you can feel worse than before. That’s what contributes to people becoming alcoholics or hooked on […]

Why Crying Can Be Good for You

I’m thrilled to have Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.,  back as a guest today. She’s a licensed psychotherapist in S. California with over 35 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and the author of 13 books in 17 languages, including […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Desire vs. Belief

This is post 252 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Losing Yourself in Diets

Dieting seems to be a national pastime. Even skinny people tend to explain the extra pound they must lose. Do you think that models who look beautiful and starve themselves to maintain standards set by an industry are happy? Seeing […]

Strengthening Your Spirit with Happiness After a Cancer Diagnosis

Most people know at least someone who has cancer or have had it. It can bring you down in spirit. When I met cancer survivor Cathy Hamilton, I was struck by her positive attitude about getting through a cancer diagnosis. […]

Birthday Joy

I recently overheard two women discussing the upcoming birthday of one of them. The tone was somber, commiserating, reigned, somewhat sad, somewhat fearful. In my opinion, that not how birthdays should make you feel! These women acted like a birthday […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Do’s and Don’t’s

This is post 251 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

The Abundance of Being Open-Minded

I had a client I’ll call Sara who recently who complained about not being able to meet a good man, When I asked what she wanted in one she emphatically explained that he had to be a creative type. Being […]

What Direction Does Your Give & Take Go In?

I’ve never liked one-way streets. When I’m trying to get somewhere, especially in an area I’m not familiar with, it’s frustrating to try to navigate streets that aren’t going in the direction I want to go in.. Anything going just […]

How to Become More Resilient

Resilience is a quality that can help you get through life better. Tht’s why I”m happy to have Ken Druck, Ph.D.,  as my uest today. He’s the founder of The Jenna Druck Center  in San Diego, a renowned resilience expert, […]

Prayers for the 9/11 Victims

I got up and as usual went to the kitchen to get some water. I flipped on the radio to get a weather forecast and someone was shouting that he just saw a plane go into the World Trade Center.  […]

Law of Attraction in Action: “I Don’t Need Anything”

This is post 250 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Spiritual vs. People Pleaser

Were you brought up with strong religious/ or spiritual values or developed some in more recent years. If you believe that it’s spiritual to try to be kind to everyone you can get baffled about how to handle feeling used […]

You Know You’re Happy Because…….

Can you actually say that you’re happy? Saying “yes” to that question seems to be more automatic than heartfelt to most people. It’s like we think that we’re “supposed to be” happy and don’t want to look bad for answering […]

Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities

Jay Platt was medically retired from the Marine Corps in 1998 after suffering complications from von Hippel Lindau syndrome (VHL), a genetic disease that resulted in brain and spinal tumors, kidney cancer, and the loss of his left eye. When […]

Rev Up—It’s September!

Happy September! I love this month and always call it the month of new beginnings. I guess I love it partly because it’s the month I was born in, so I begin a new year of my life. I remember […]

Don’t Be a Life Tourist!

I’m an avid traveler, both in the U.S. and overseas. But, I hate being a tourist. When I travel, I like to just exist in the place. That doesn’t mean I don’t go see the sights. I do. But I […]

When Faith Doesn’t Seem to Work

I have strong faith and always encourage building it to get what you need in life. Yet there are times when things just don’t work out. When your prayers aren’t answered and you feel they should be you can lose […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Justification

This is post 249 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Retail Therapy = Emotional Shopping

Retail Therapy has become a popular term lately. It’s often said in a joking way that someone is going for retail therapy because they have a problem. But, shopping to make yourself feel better usually doesn’t make you feel better […]

Emotions & Happiness

Positive emotions tend to be more fleeting. Negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, etc. often stick with you longer. Good feelings from positive circumstances are often short-term. Stress can become a lifestyle. Guilt lingers. Anger can foster a […]

Paying In vs. Paying Your Dues

I’m happy to have Laura Vanderkam, author of several books, including her new one, What the Most Successful People Do at Work,  back as a guest today. She has an interesting take on paying your dues. Here’s what she has […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Trying to Run from Problems

This is post 248 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Speaking Up for Your Personal Freedom

As a young girl I was advised to try to be as agreeable as possible with everyone. That would help people see me as a good girl—a nice girl who they liked because she didn’t cause problems. That helped me […]

Relying on Others

Some people interpret self-empowerment to mean being totally independent by taking care of yourself and your needs on your own—not relying on anyone; doing everything for yourself. When I first declared my independence from depending on people for my happiness, […]

How Gratitude Can Be a Power Tool for a Better Life

I wwrite a lot about rhe impotance of having gratitude in your life. I even run a Conscious Gratitude group on Yahoo, where people can post what they’re grateful for every day and read what others are grateful for. Regularly […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Happy Endings

This is post 247 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

“Am I an Idiot for Making a Mistake?”

We use many negative phrases when we make a mistake. Do you relate to using any of these? •    “That was so stupid of me.” •    “I’m a moron/idiot.” •    “What’s wrong with me that I couldn’t get it right?” […]

Setting Priorities

My plate often feels overfilled. I hear this from many people. But I learned the hard way that trying to do it all leads to stress, low energy, other health issues and, you often get nothing done properly. Self-empowerment includes […]

Interview with Tao Porchon-Lynch—94 & Still Teaching Yoga!

As someone who believes that good role models can help us to improve our lives, when I learned about Tao Porchon-Lynch ™, who is a Master Yoga teacher, I had to interview her. That in itself might not sound inspirational […]

Law of Attraction in Action: Regrets

This is post 246 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series […]

Living with Regrets

Do memories of things you did or didn’t do lead to self-recrimination? Do you wish you’d done things differently? All those things that you did or didn’t do in the PAST can haunt you today. I emphasized PAST because they […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »

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