Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

via Morguefile

via Morguefile

I’m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person’s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect.

When you don’t stop someone from hurting you with insults or disrespectful behavior, they will keep doing it and think it’s OK. When you always agree to do what people want, you teach them to keep asking and expecting to get e=what they want.

If someone you care about doesn’t treat you properly, it’s up to you to teach him or her. You can use:

* Words: Choose a peaceful time and nicely let the person know what you expetc and refuse to tolerrate.

*Actions: Walk away or hang up the phone if the person speaks to you disrespectfully.

* Opinions: If someone tells you where you’re going to eat, express your preference up front.

* Change your normal response: If you usually laugh poor behavior off, stop doing so. Say, “Not funny.” Or “I’ve had enough.” Or give the person a look that shows displeasure. Take a stand – Let the person know firmly that his or her behavior is unacceptable and you will not accept it any more.

Unless you enjoy being treated poorly, it’s up to you to stop behavior you don’t like by teaching people the right way. If your romantic partner nags a lot, or acts controlling. Sit him or her down, and spell out that you won’t tolerate it any more. He/she may throw the blame on you, that if you didn’t_____, he/she wouldn’t_____. Find a compromise—you both stop the behavior that the other doesn’t like. But always remember, it’s up to you to teach someone how to treat you.lg People How to Treat You I’m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person’s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect. When you don’t stop someone from hurting you with insults they will keep doing it and think it’s OK. When you always agree to do what people want you teach them to keep asking and expecting to get e=what they want. If someone you care about doesn’t treat you properly, it’s up to you to teach him or her. You can use:
* Words: choose a peaceful time and nicely let the person know what you expect.

* Actions: Walk away or hang up the phone if the person speaks to you disrespectfully.

* Opinions: If someone tells you where you’re going to eat, express your preference up front.

* Change your normal response: If you usually laugh poor behavior off, stop doing so. Say, “Not funny.” Or “I’ve had enough.” Or give the person a look that shows displeasure. Take a stand – Let the person know firmly that his or her behavior is unacceptable and you will not accept it any more.

Unless you enjoy being treated poorly, it’s up to you to stop behavior you don’t like by teaching people the right way.

If your romantic partner nags a lot, or acts controlling. Sit him or her down, and spell out that you won’t tolerate it any more. He/she may throw the blame on you, that if you didn’t_____, he/she wouldn’t_____. Find a compromise—you both stop the behavior that the other doesn’t like. But always remember, it’s up to you to teach someone how to treat you.l

Do the same kinds of things with family and friends. NO ONE has the right to treat you poorly! But it’s up to you to teach people what you consider appropriate behavior.

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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.

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