Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Standing Tall for Confidence

file00062080180In my recent post, Stand Tall, I talked about how confident I feel when I focus on having good posture. By standing straight, arching my shoulders and holding my head high, people have a very positive impression of me. Your stance makes an effective statement. People will buy a confident image if you create good habits. And you can enjoy the benefits no matter where you are in your self-esteem building.

Besides people having a good impression of you, good posture can have a powerful affect on how you feel about you. Part of it is synergy—as people see you as more confident, they treat you with more respect, which increases your confidence. But there’s also a benefit in just feeling yourself standing or sitting straighter. The European Journal of Social Psychology reported that people who improved their posture also improved their likelihood of believing their thoughts. Insecurity can make you doubt whether you have to a right to ask for what you want or express how something bothers you.

Good posture can help you feel more conviction so people know you mean business! Of course you want to make sure your thoughts are positive before you try this. But when you do, good posture can add more conviction to how you state your beliefs. So if you’re addressing an important problem, asking for good customer service, going for a job interview, etc., your posture can have a positive affect on how you come across. When people know you truly believe what you’re saying they’re more likely to take you seriously. Tht’a qhy good posture is empasaized in the military.

Sitting up straight or walking into a room with your shoulders back and head held high can be like a spark that starts a fire.Once I consciously carried myself well into important situations, I realized what a profound affect it had not only on how people saw me. More importantly, it made a big difference in how I saw myself. Confidence helps you speak in ways that people take heed of more. It also enables you to take more risks. For example, when I address a serious problem with a friend, I’m more prepared to walk away if she or he ignores what I say, and they know it. That gives me an edge for getting what I want.

Set a tone for the immediate perception people get of you. Since good posture can make you look and feel more powerful, practice walking with your shoulders pulled back and head lifted. It was something I could do, even when I was a DoorMat. The more you practice, the more it becomes automatic. I began standing straighter to ease my back pain. Now it’s part of my overall demeanor in all situations. Do what you can to get into good habits about your posture so the confidence it can bring carries into all areas of your life.
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