Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Can’t vs. Don’t Want To

Photo by singhajay via morguefile

Photo by singhajay via morguefile

We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not doing something. Your words can keep you from taking responsibility for your choices. For example, “I can’t” usually means a version of “I don’t want to,”

It’s easier to say “I can’t” but harder to say “I don’t want to.” ”I can’t“ kind of gets you off the hook. “I can’t” implies that there’s a reason. “I don’t want to.” makes you the reason. For example, you may be asked to do something that sounds hard or tedious. Your automatic response may be ”I can’t do it.“  but deep down you just may not want to try. So ”I can’t“ becomes a cop-out.

Pay attention when you say, “I can’t” when asked to do something. Ask yourself:

•    Do I just don’t want to do it?
•    Am I afraid to try?
•    Does it seem too hard to consider?
•    Does it sound unpleasant?

Don’t get into a habit of saying, “I can’t” as a substitute for the truth. At least be honest with yourself about why you can’t. Just because you don’t want to try, doesn’t mean that you can’t. Just because it seems hard, doesn’t mean that you can’t. Just because it sounds unpleasant doesn’t mean that you can’t. Sometimes when you stop the “I can’ts” you might discover you can get past the obstacle that makes you say, “I can’t”. If you don’t want to try take responsibility instead of copping out.

Empower yourself by owning your feelings. Figure out what scares you or makes you not wan’t to try and try to find a way through it. You CAN do anything you choose to so put some thought into your choices!
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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.



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