Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle

teakettleWhen the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we’re DoorMats and don’t want to start trouble. But it has to come out somewhere and often we blow up at someone who doesn’t deserve it, because they say or do one small annoying thing.

Years ago I had a friend who had a lot of anger about things her co-workers did. I encouraged he to address it but she was too scared. On day we were in a restaurant having lunch and I made an innocent comment that she didn’t like, and she exploded at me, screaming nasty things as other diners watched in horror. She was loud and mean. When she calmed down, she was almost in tears as she apologized, saying she didn’t know what had come over her. I was embarrassed and angry and suggested she begin to speak up at work. “OH no, I can’t do that,” was her reply.

I told her that anger needs an outlet. Suppressing it leads to exploding at someone who doesn’t deserve it when it reaches I boiling point, just like a teakettle. She scoffed it off. A few months later it happened again, also in a restaurant. I was happily enjoying my meal and she began screaming, “Why do you have such a bad attitude?” I was in a good mood before that and had done nothing to deserve that, except maybe lick my lips in enjoyment of my meal. Her accusations were completely irrational. Pent up anger can do that.

I had to let go of that friendship. I got tired of being a victim of her anger. If you’re the one someone takes target practice on to release anger, DO NOT tolerate it! Set a boundary or leave.

Venting at someone unfairly because you don’t want to express your feelings to the person who triggers your anger is unhealthy since you still haven’t resolved what makes you angry. That’s why it’s so important to speak up. You can do it nicely. It’s also good to have trusted people you can talk to about it and maybe get some good advice on how to address your situation. Then forgive yourself for any blame you put on yourself for it happening. Releasing anger is a loving gift you can give to yourself.
Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Previous Posts

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.