Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Pride vs. Being Full of Yourself

blowing bubbleSelf-appreciation is a good quality.  It helps you build pride in yourself. I often recommend writing a list of all your good qualities and owning them to help build self-love. But self-appreciation and having strong pride doesn’t mean being full of yourself. When you truly own who you are as a self-empowered person you don’t need to prove your worth to others. In my Law of  Attraction: Pride post, I talked about how having real pride can attract more things to be proud of. Being a braggart doesn’t do that.


I’ve found that excessive bragging is a sign of insecurity. When you’ve been a DoorMat and begin your journey to feel better, you don’t automatically start with good self-esteem. At first, you may tout your accomplishments and demand attention to the point of nausea, to compensate for the real deal. This isn’t good self-esteem and reinforces that you still need outside validation. Just impress yourself. Others will notice without your bragging.

People get turned off by excessive bragging. That can attract sarcastic or negative comments that hurt your feelings. If you find yourself talking about your accomplishments a lot, try to catch yourself. Think about why you do it. What are you trying to prove? When I began my trip of DoorMatville, I had some major accomplishments, which felt fabulous after years of feeling bad about myself and believing I’d never achieve anything special. It felt so good that I couldn’t stop bragging. It was still hard to believe anyone would like me for me so I tried to earn approval with my accomplishments. When you own yourself, you don’t need to do that!


People with good self-esteem don’t need to flaunt themselves or stop helping others. As your sense of self grows stronger, control your ego. Once you recognize your strong points, the world won’t need a press release. Theye’ll see it in your demeanor as you live it.

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2014.” and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Skywraith20

    I’m glad this is here.
    The other day a co-corker made a glib comment about me along the lines “you know __ he’s full of himself” and I chuckled at it because people always think I’m cocky anyway but I also take it to heart that people really do mean what they say.

    I’ve had several accomplishments but it’s hard for me to have pride because when I do feel that sense it’s soon deflated by external means like a prick to a balloon.
    My inability to feel pride more recently stems from precipice falls like a loss of income and a loss of companion and generally feeling out of place as a middle-aged male human being. In many ways I’ve just kind of given up on life ever having anything better left to experience. Yet I keep on living.

    It’s hard to be silent when I want to be heard. I’m educated and have a knack for being relatable which makes me a social person by nature but then when I find that I’m suddenly “full of myself” it makes me wonder if I really am that worthless and trying to be just a little more than that. And for whom?

    So yeah, I understand the idea behind being a doormat. I just want to be happy with being myself and not have to feel like I need acceptance for the air I breathe.

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