Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Giving Presents vs. Presence

giftThis is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved ones wish for time with them.

A more special gift can be you being present with the person. I don’t just mean being there but paying attention to what they say, and what they need from you.  A warm hug may be received with more gratitude than something you buy. The gift of spending quality can trump a lot. What does that mean? You can be with a person and not be present if you’re constantly checking your phone or watching a game on TV. Being present means:

•    Listening with intent and having a meaningful conversation.
•    Acknowledging his/her feelings.
•    Making eye contact.
•    Doing something that your mom, dad, partner, kids, grandparent would enjoy doing with you.
•    Making the person feel you’re happy to be there.
•    Letting them know you appreciate them.

You can’t buy personal connections and contact. Think about who you can share the gift of your time with during the holidays. That could be the best present you can give.
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