Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

firePeople seem to think that New Year can automatically bring change. We make resolutions like wishes with hope that the New Year wish fairy will make it happen. But then the year progresses and you’re disappointed that nothing good has happened for you. That’s because there’s no New Year wish fairy. It’s up to YOU to jumpstart your year in the direction of what you want. No matter what time of year it is, you can jumpstart your life using these suggestions.

Be realistic. Don’t set goals that are too hard to achieve. You’ll get discouraged and possibly stop trying if you don’t see enough progress. Going from a job that pays $25,000 a year to get one paying $100,000 sounds nice but may be too big step up. Instead, seek to find a job that pays more. An intention to get married in the next year doesn’t give you enough time to get to know a potential partner. Rushing into marriage with someone willing to marry you can leave you feeling frustrated if you discover he/she isn’t what you wanted.  It’s better to seek to meet good people to date and possibly marry down the road.

Set incremental goals. Instead of deciding to lose 25 pounds, make your goal to lose 5 pounds. When you lose that, set another goal to lose 5 more pounds. You’ll reach that sooner than trying to lose 25 pounds and reaching a small goal can spur you on. If you want  a high position in your company, try to get promoted first to a position that can lead to the one you want.

Learn something new. Taking a class to improve your skills or trying a new exercise class can help you advance at work or lose more weight. More knowledge can make you feel more empowered because it builds confidence.

Look for a mentor. Finding someone who is doing what you’d like to achieve can help you get motivated to go after what you want. Ask a friend who’s a fitness buff to help you get into shape. Or seek out someone at work or in your field and ask if they can advise you occasionally.Or try to get a group of people who want to pursue goals to form a kind of support group.

Ramp up your faith. Trusting that you’ll get support from your higher power can give you the fuel you need to move forward. Faith is a power tool. It allows you to take risks needed to get to where you want to be.

Love yourself. Self-love makes you want to take good care of you, which can help you get more fit. It also motivates you to go after what would make you happy. The more you appreciate yourself, the more it builds confidence. If you don’t know how to begin, read my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways , that you can download for free from The Self-Love Movement™ at

Be kinder to you. When you make the effort to be kinder to yourself, it’s easier to get past mistakes. You don’t try to be perfect and you accept your limitations without getting discouraged. Every act of self- kindness helps build self-love. Self-forgiveness is kindness and opens doors that can make you happy. Being kinder to you puts the focus on you and being happy. It can silence self-criticism, which holds you back. Take my pledge to commit to give yourself 31 days of self-love.

Take the first step. You want a better job? Start polishing your resume. You want to get into better shape? Join a gym or commit to walk for 15 minute every day or find an exercise buddy. To accomplish a goal, you need to take the first step to reach it.

Ask for help. People pleasers don’t like to ask for what they need. But it’s important to do that! Ask friends to let you know if they hear about a job opening or to encourage you to watch your eating. Ask for advice about accomplishing what you want, like how to improve your resume. Or  ask someone to practice doing a job interview with ayou. Ask your boss to give you suggestions for what you can do to advance in your company. If you ask the worst that can happen is the person says, “No,” and that’s OK. Don’t let that make you hesitate to ask someone else.

Following these tips can help you jumpstart your life, whether it’s a new year or you’re just ready to make changes at any time. Love yourself enough to get your life in gear today. You CAN do it if you CHOOSE to!

Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2014.” and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

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