Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

black cloudSome people seem to thrive on worrying. It can seem as if they look for things to worry about. Are you one of those? Constant worrying is a happiness buster. It creates stress, which is detrimental to your health and your peace of mind. After working with many people who tend to worry a lot, I’ve come to believe that worrying often stems from having a negative self-image and the subconscious looks for ways to self-punish for shortcomings.

Liza came to me because she hated always being worried about something. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she was worry-free. It dampened her ability to enjoy life. She worried that she’d disappoint her parents, that her husband would leave her (he loved her dearly) that she’d lose her job if her company downsized (there were no plans for that to happen). And she worried over little things like if the elevator was going slow she’d miss her 5:10 bus (there was another one at 5:20), that her roast for dinner wouldn’t turn out well (she’d made it many time and had never had a bad one). She could always find something to worry about.

A Swedish proverb says, “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” And that shadow makes you unhappy. Often the tendency to worry originates in childhood if you were expected to be perfect or criticized a lot. You can subconsciously expect things to go wrong. Those kinds of things make you feel unworthy. Liza’s parents expected too much from her when she was young. If she didn’t get straight A’s in school she was stupid. If she gained a few pounds she was called fat. Liza expected things to go wrong for her like I discusses in my Law of Attraction in Action: Worry post.

Worry brings you nothing but negative emotions. It makes you stressed, which can affect your mental and physical health. And it dampens your ability to be happy. A great antidote for worrying is to build strong faith. As mine increased, I became more resilient. Strong faith allows me to trust that everything will work out. I put many serious situations into God’s hands and relax in faith that it will all be fine.

I suggested that Liza begin to build her faith in increments. We came up with affirmations for her most common worries:

•    “I trust that my parents will always e proud of me, even if I make a mistake.
•    “My job is secure.”
•    “My husband loves me enough to withstand anything.
•    “I know that I’ll get home on time.

The more Liza reinforced her faith and saw that everything worked out OK, the stronger her faith got and she was able to relax more. Gradually she took control of her worrying. As she enjoyed living without perpetually having a big dark shadow of worry over her, Liza finally knew what it felt like to feel happy. Let faith help you let go of any need to worry so you can enjoy your life more.
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