Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Affirming Boundaries

handI know how hard it can be to say ‘No” after you’ve been a people pleaser for years and people expect an automatic “Yes” to favors from you. But it’s also exhilarating to say it and know that you’re off the hook for doing something you don’t want to do. Setting boundaries on how much of your time and energy you can give to others is a great way to say, “I love me.” When you agree to everyone’s requests, negative emotions may plague you.

·           Anger directed at yourself, at your inability to set boundaries and not get stuck doing things you don’t want to do

·           Resentment toward the person putting you on the spot, for expecting too much from you

·           Frustration about not having enough time for things you want to do

·           Self-loathing about feeling like a wimp for not setting boundaries

Any of the above will hurt your quality of life. That’s why it’s so important to set boundaries on what you do for others. But there is a discomfort that comes with it at the beginning and you’ll have to get past that if you want to remove the “welcome” from your forehead. The more you say “No”, the more people will get used to it. But of course that takes time. Until then, fortify yourself with affirmations that you can say to yourself to stay strong and resolute as your boundaries get set. Create your own or use one of mine:

·           “I’m entitled to say “no” when I want to.”
·           “I choose to feel uneasy for a while in order to make my life better with boundaries.”
·           “Other people say “no,” so why not me?”
·           “I deserve to choose how I help people.”
·           “People will accept my boundaries if I stay strong.”
·           “ Boundaries rock! And I’m setting some because I love myself  enough to choose MY happiness over someone else’s.”

Hang the ones that resonate or you up as a reminder that you need to do it. As you enjoy the extra time you have because you’re not running around like a favor bunny, you’ll be more motivated to reinforce your boundaries. Keep remembering that it’s okay to not be there for everyone. Are they always ther or you? As you slowly shed your people pleasing ways, you’ll begin to live as an empowered person. And I can attest that it’s a great feeling.
Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.
Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Previous Posts

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.