Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

LOAlogoBLOGThis is post 250 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.

Do you tend to try to do everything for yourself? Do you find it hard to delegate work? Do you feel good about not being dependent on anyone? Would you rather work and be responsible for everything rather than to ask for help?

Bu it’s not good if it goes to extremes—always having to do everything or yourself or refusing help when it’s offered. This can happen if you:

•    Were burned by someone you counted on
•    Someone you let help you botched it
•    Were bought up being taught that a man shouldn’t have to ask for help
•    Are so focused on pleasing other that you hate to take from others

That was me when I was a DoorMat—most of them! The few people I counted on rarely came through and it hurt. So I wanted to avoid painful disappoint by not counting on anyone. Not depending on anyone doing everything for myself seemed safer way to live. I’ve had a few interns over the years but never gave hem much to do after two created more problems than the help I got from them. So why bother? As a consummate people pleaser I thought people would like me more if I asked nothing of them.

I felt so proud of being an independent woman. But that wasn’t healthy independence! It was a form of rejecting support, which told the Universe I didn’t want any. So I got none.

Interdependence with others is the best way to be. That means giving and accepting help, as I explained in my post Relying on Others. Independence is a great quality to have to a point. From a Law of Attraction perspective, being independent to the extreme of not letting any help in, puts out a message that you need nothing from anyone–that you don’t want to receive. That prevents you from attracting people who might support your career, give more value to your life or just be a good friend.

So if you have a mindset of “I don’t need anything from anyone,” lose it!  Be open to getting support from people. It took me a while to trust someone’s offer of help. My first big milestone came when I was running a summer recreation program. I had an assistant but I did his job most days. I was so afraid that he wouldn’t do something as good as I would. One day he asked why I’d hired him when he offered to do some of he tasks but I did it all. From then on I  decided I had to begin delegating the responsibilities. He did a good job and I began to let go of my need to do everything myself.

When I became more open to getting support, I began to attract good supportive people, instead of telling the universe that I didn’t want any. Create your own healthy interdependence, as I discussed in MY post on Independence. Tell the Universe that you’re open to getting support and you’ll attract more.

See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.
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