Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Needing to Do Everything Yourself

jugglingI’ve always been a multi-tasker. It was necessary years ago when I took on way too much because I had to do everything myself. DoorMats aren’t good at asking for help and I was totally uncomfortable with asking for anything. Nor could I receive help when it was offered. I didn’t feel worthy and thought people would like me more if I didn’t bother them. It also made me feel more in control of my world.

But there was another reason for not getting help. I was always striving to be perfect and didn’t trust others to do most things for me. I’d often say, “if I don’t do it, it will never get done.” But that wasn’t quite the truth. I hardly ever tried to count on anyone. I didn’t trust people because I didn’t trust myself. I used to own a business but rarely relegated tasks that employees could have done. I remember how foolish I felt when someone asked why I paid salaries to people and did the work myself. It was true! I was overworked but did everyone’s job. It was absurd.


Fortunately that was around the time I was leaving DoorMatville so I had a more realistic perspective. I slowly counted on people more and most didn’t disappoint me. I accepted that it was okay if someone didn’t do a task the way I’d have done it. It was done and I didn’t have to do it! I remember the first time I took a day off and the business didn’t fall apart. It was a lovely enlightenment. I felt free.

You don’t have to do everything yourself to be in control of your life. I’ve developed enough faith and trust in me to choose the right people to relegate tasks to. I’m now happy when someone offers to do something for me. The more you love yourself the easier it is to allow help and support in. Conversely, the more you allow it in, the stronger your self-love can grow. Make sure that your life is balanced and you’re not needing to do everything yourself. If you are, ask yourself why and work on the reason. Then enjoy feeling supported!


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