Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Replace Regret with Finding Blessings

dark cloudsMost of us have some regrets. Maybe you did something that you wish you didn’t do. Or you spent years involved with the wrong person. Or you didn’t go after a job you wish you had. And a million other things. Like guilt, regrets are like rust on your soul in that they eat away at your contentment. And they keep you looking back when you should be focusing on right now. The things you regret belong in the past—when they happened.

Since you can’t change past action, regret serves no purpose but to corrode your life with thoughts of what it would be like had you not done or said what you did. Having regrets can make you beat yourself up unnecessarily, feel depressed, and not appreciate what you have now. sunset In order to let go of any regrets you may have:

•    Acknowledge what you did and that you were trying your best.

•    Remind yourself that it’s over and that there’s probably nothing you can do to change it. If you said or did something to someone that caused a rift, decide if you want to try to mend the fence now.

•    Talk it out with a good friend or a spiritual adviser to help you get a fair perspective.

•    Apologize out loud for doing it and then forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and just as you’d forgive a friend who apologized, give yourself the same courtesy.

•    Write down everything you feel about it, read it aloud, burn the paper, say “It’s over,” and let it go.

Look back to find the blessings in your regrets. What good did you get from the person you stayed with for too long? People ask if I regret getting married at twenty when I wasn’t ready for it. It would be easy to say yes, since I lost many years yearning for a different life. But I wouldn’t be who I am today without the growth those years gave me. And I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter had I not married then. I have a better friendship with my ex now that we’ve both grown up

Anne Bradstreet said, “If we had no winter the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

Had I not been a DoorMat I wouldn’t appreciate the life I have now nearly as much as if I’d gotten it earlier. And I love myself so much now because I’m so grateful to have found me. Look for the lessons in the things you regret and appreciate them. If you regret leaving a romantic partner because of differences in race, religion, etc., the good you enjoyed is a blessing. And it may have taught you what’s important in someone you get involved with in the future.

There’s something good in every regret if you look! Then focus on any blessing that you find instead of letting regrets make you feel bad. Love yourself enough not to hurt your soul with regrets. Appreciate that what you don’t like helps you appreciate the good. And accept it’s over so you can move on. Remember this:

“Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is.
Noise to appreciate silence. And absence to value presence.” Unknown

***************

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



Previous Posts

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.