Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

* daisy smil 2Do you need a reason to be happy? Do you look to other people or what you can have to be happy. Do you count on having a romantic partner to do it for you? When I was a DoorMat, I looked to others to make me happy. If a friend invited me somewhere I was happy—for a while. If someone gave me a compliment—it pushed my happiness button for a moment. And I was desperate to have a man in my life to make me happy. But was I really happy when I had those things? Nope!

Those things gave me happy moments, and they still do, but they didn’t make me happy—really happy. Since I began to love me, I wake up happy every day. Of course I still love what I think of as thos happy extras—the special people in my life, going to an event I love, feeling good about an accomplishments, etc. But the biggest happiness catalyst you can get is loving yourself.

Deepak Chopra said, “Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble because that reason can be taken from you.”

When who you are and what you feel inside make you happy, you can own it. If you get your happiness from a romantic partner, you may temper that happiness by worrying he/she may leave you. That also motivates accepting poor or unacceptable behavior or abuse from someone who you think is the source of your happiness. When you make yourself happy, you take charge of it. And the mor love you give yourself, the more your contentment will grow, which will nourish your happiness.

If someone asks what makes me happy, I say, “me!” I can get funny looks from some people and comments about being self-absorbed but I know they just don’t get it. When you depend on something outside of yourself for your happiness—whether it’s a person or making more money or losing weight or a fun situation—you become dependent on that factor for your happiness. If you’re happy because you lost weight, what will happen if you gain some back?

Own your happiness. Don’t be happy for any reason except because you’re YOU!. When you feel happy on the inside, it sticks with you, even on days when things don’t go well. You can have problems but still be a happy person. The key is being happy with and loving yourself. Then you own the power to be a happy person!
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Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

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