Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Is it time to Reinvent Yourself?

NOT FOR SITE/MMS only: Member Posed PhotosI recently attended SPARK, the National Association Of Professional Women’s Networking conference  There were fabulous speakers, including, Arianna Huffington, Martha Stewart and Star Jones. But one who really stood out to me was Danielle Miller, brand strategist/reinvention coach. After hearing Danielle speak, I had to get some of her advice to pass on. Her suggestions for reinventing yourself are practical and easy to use, IF you really want to evolve.

I remember how hard it was for me to consider reinvention when I was a DoorMat.  People said it was too late for me, but I finally decided not to listen. Had I known Danielle back then my transition would have been easier.  Here’s some of her tips for how to reinvent yourself:

What holds many of us back from success? We undervalue our strengths—“Anybody could have done that.” You need to recognize your strengths—those innate things about you. They’re probably intangible. Ask people. Take assessments. It’s important to reassess the things you’re doing now. It’s about really understanding your strengths and not downplay the strengths that come so easily to us. We don’t toot our own horn. We don’t recognize that the experiences we have give us the skills to take somewhere else. Decide that you want o be happy by finding satisfaction and fulfillment.

What’s something  important that people should do? Create a support system. It’s all about managing your energy. Minimize the people who drain your energy because they don’t help you. Keep your true friends close. They will be honest with you about whether you should do something or not.

How important do you feel goals are? Goals are great but don’t tie yourself to them too much.  Take one step in front of the other. We get so tied to goals that we don’t see opportunities right in front of us. Make your goals specific. Focus on goals for the next two or three years. Be realistic. If you’ve had the same goal for years, get rid of it because it’s draining you.

How can people take baby steps to success? Pick on e thing and get good at it. Then go on to the next. The more you can learn about yourself and grow, the more you can evolve. Make a plan but be open to the opportunities in front of you. Don’t miss them b/c you’re focused on a plan.

How would you define reinvention? Conscious control of change. Building on who you already are.

What would you say to someone who says they were told they’re too old to reinvent themselves? That’s a story that we tend to loop over and over again. You don’t have to buy into other people’s stories. I don’t think it’s harder. I think the stories we tell ourselves become more ingrained. The process is the same. We’ve bumped up into more walls as we get older and we tend to start following a path where there aren’t walls. When we bump into the walls and haven’t had success we stop.

Some advice for self-reinvention? You need to recognize that your journey is unique. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. And you can reinvent as much or little as you like. Take what works for you and leave the rest behind. You have to work harder than you think you possibly can. You can’t hold grudges—it’s hard but you can’t hold grudges. And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, because that’s going to happen. All that matter is you’ve got to get up.
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