Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Giving Yourself Space

Many of us think that not having activity going on around us is uncomfortable. We don’t know how to handle silence or having a little time with nothing specific to do. When I was a DoorMat, I couldn’t handle what I thought of as “empty pockets of time and space” in my life. If I was with someone and neither of us were talking, I’d jump in to say something because I saw it as awkward to be with someone and not talk. And if I had some free time, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

When there was no one around I’d immediately call someone to chat with. I couldn’t deal with just my own company. I often hear from people who feel the same way. A big factor is feeling not worthy of loving. I guess if I didn’t feel good enough for other people why would I want to be alone with just me? Silence was scary. Free time felt lonely.

Since I began to love myself, I’ve learned that free time and silence are lovely buffers against feeling stressed or  overwhelmed. The more you spend quiet time alone, the more you get used to it. I could never sit with my eyes closed and just breathe, not less meditate when I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Now that I am, I appreciate taking a few minutes to just be—to sit quietly and focus on my breathing. It relaxes me. When you can do this, you begin to own yourself and the space needed to decompress and commune with yourself.

It can take a while to get comfortable with sitting with a loved one without having to say a word or being alone with yourself and appreciating it. But it’s worth the effort. I used to treat people to dinner or a movie just to avoid being alone. Now I know I’m never alone when I’m with me. You don’t have to stay busy all the time. When you are, it may feel like you’re filling up a void. But you’re really dodging yourself. The busier you are, the less you have to pay attention to yourself. But you’re the most important person in your world, even if you don’t acknowledge it.

Give yourself the time and space to just be. Allow yourself to slow down and relax with silence. It’s lovely to be comfortable enough with someone you care about to not always have to talk to fill the silence. And it’s even lovelier to enjoy time alone, doing things you enjoy or giving yourself some downtime. You don’t always have to be doing something. Try to just be and enjoy the peacefulness it can bring.

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Previous Posts

Law of Attraction in Action: Making the Best of What Happens
This is post 281 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Things don’t always go the way you planned or hoped for. That’s how life works. But wh

posted 12:01:35pm Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Rewriting Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I borrowed it for the title of the book I’m giving away through The Self-Love Movement™---How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. To build self-love, it’s good to think in those terms. I suggest you rewrite

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.