Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

If Not Now—When?

Did the resolutions you made last year fail to become true? It’s easy to decide what you want but much harder to get yourself to do what’s necessary. I’ve been through this too. I’ve had some dreams for years and intended to bring them to fruition—one day! The time was always in the future. I knew there was something on the horizon but never went beyond that.  And I never thought about why I put things off, I just did. This is common. You want something and decide that one day you’ll make it happen. But a variety of reasons—fear, doubt about yourself, concern about it taking too much time, worrying you won’t be able to afford it, or that you don’t know enough to be successful, etc. —keep you stuck in seeing it happening maybe in the future–but not right now!

I went through this with my dream to begin The Self-Love Movement™. God called me to do it and give my self-love book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways away for free. But I didn’t know how to achieve it. I kept talking about it but made no progress. It made me feel bad and frustrated. But I felt stuck in the ”someday” mode and didn’t know how to get myself to take the first steps. Then I got a quote in an email that I think God arranged:

“If not now, when?” Hillel

This has always been one of my favorite quotes because it makes so much sense. And it put a fire under me. I repeated it over and over and asked in the mirror: “If not now, when?” Thinking about it I recognized that every year is another one gone by without realizing my dream, and that’s not how I want it to be. I asked myself other questions? “At what point will you be ready? When you’re 75 or 100?” The years have ticked by as I stalled on launching my initiative. I reminded myself that God sent me to do it and therefore would be there with me as I worked to get it off the ground.

“If not now, when?” It’s something we should all ask ourselves regularly about things we put off, whether it’s a major dream or a chore that you don’t like doing. The more you ask, “If not now, when?” the more it will get you thinking about why you’re putting something off and more importantly, why you should make the effort to do it.

After doing that myself, I decided I’d invest in a good website and hire a coach to guide me. I asked God for help and got some money I wasn’t expecting. That paid for it. Whenever I questioned why I was taking on such a big initiative, I asked myself “If not now, when?” It motivated me to keep going until I actually launched The Self-Love Movement™. Had I not continued to ask “If not now, when?” I‘d still be dreaming of doing it in the future. The next time you put something off, ask yourself, “If not now, when?” If you don’t have a good answer, make the effort to stop putting it off and take steps to get whatever it is done. Doing so is very satisfying in the long run.

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.