Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Self-Defense and Self-Love

Finding ways to protect yourself is an act of self love. Many years ago I took a series of self-defense classes and still remember the main moved I learned. It has truly help me feel more powerful. That’s why I’m thrilled to have  Jarrett Arthur as my guest today. Based in Los Angeles, Train With Jarrett offers straightforward, realistic, and effective self-defense training and education to women, children, parents, teachers, and childcare professionals. Founder Jarrett Arthur has been featured as a self-defense expert on the Ellen Degeneres Show, Access Hollywood, Good Day LA, and in the NY Times and Fitness Magazine. Here’s what she believe about self-defense being a good way to say, “I love me.”


Why Self-Defense Is Self-Love
by Jarrett Arthur

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary self-love is defined as “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage.” It was the subject of a workshop I recently taught with celebrity trainer, speaker, and activist John Pierre. During a meeting a few months earlier to discuss the details of the class, John Pierre expressed nothing short of exacerbation regarding the dismal statistics of how few women have taken it upon themselves to learn self-defense skills. He was confused, and rightfully so. How is it possible that the majority of women in this country do not make learning self-defense tools a priority? He could see where years of training wouldn’t fit the general population, but to not even acquire a basic understanding of how to defend oneself? He simply shook his head.


As a self-defense instructor and educator, I completely share in his disbelief. And so for years I’ve made it my mission to empower women. To encourage women to empower themselves. “Empower yourselves!” I want to shout it from every high building, mountain, and platform I can find. Yet empowering women to take the initiative to learn self-defense skills turns out to be pretty difficult. It’s one of the reasons why John Pierre and I joined forces to create a learning opportunity that would encourage and foster empowerment. We even named our first workshop, “Women’s Empowerment Event.”

Then something really interesting happened. As I sat in the back of the room, listening to John Pierre educate about the importance of well-balanced, nutrient-rich, toxin-free nutrition, suddenly a lightbulb went off. I heard him speak of the importance of developing a deeply rooted and influential self-love. He argued that a true self-love is the key to overcoming the pitfalls of unhealthy and emotional eating patterns. When you love yourself you want the best for yourself. You acknowledge that you deserve to be healthy and happy. Eating processed and nutrient-lacking foods will no longer be acceptable to you, because you deserve better.


It was with this statement that I realized that all of the preaching in the world about the importance of the action of empowerment will be fruitless without the deeper, more intimate discovery of self-love. Surely you can’t simply empower yourself to learn self-defense without a fundamental source of self-love. When you experience self-love you strive to be good, kind and accountable to yourself. It means acknowledging that you deserve to fuel your body with clean, healthy foods. It means you make time for activities you enjoy and people you enjoy spending time with.

It means you fight for happiness in all aspects of your life, from your career to your family. It means you deserve to move your body and be strong, capable, and fit. It means a lot of different things, but one of the big realizations born from self-love is that you deserve to know how to protect yourself and your loved ones from others who might want to do you harm. You deserve to exist in a world free from the fear of vulnerability, from the what-ifs, from simply hoping it never happens to you.


Self-love means believing that it is your right and responsibility to take your personal safety into your own hands. Why? Because you deserve it! And that, I believe, is why so few women up until now have taken the initiative to learn how to protect themselves. But it is also why, as we move into an age of self-love, I’m so excited for the future. So here’s wishing you luck on your quest towards self-love, and I hope it leads you to kicking some butt!

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • Daniel Sesseven

    Hello, I would like to congratulate everyone involved in this project of self-defense for women. In my opinion this issue should be treated more seriously by our authorities and our leaders. It is very important for our women and know how to use basic self defense against his aggressors, both on domestic violence which in my opinion is the most serious of all, as in our cities. Thank you Daniel Sesseven

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Thanks Daniel! I agree that it should be taken more seriously. Having taken a self-defense class myself, i know how powerful that can make a woman feel

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