Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Do You Feel Inadequate?

In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement™ to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I’d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn’t gotten further along on my own. I told her that I felt inadequate. She was shocked that someone with all of my accomplishments could say that and insisted that I never use that word about myself again.

I disagreed, to some extent. I was inadequate–from a lack of knowledge. I was inadequate because I had no support system to get advice from. I know I’m smart and very adequate in general. But I was just lacking the know-how for doing something I’d never done before. I had no one to ask, “Is this written properly or what’s the best way to___?” The Self-Love Movement™ means a lot to me. After hating myself for many years and finally developing a strong sense of self-love, I wanted to give back. After telling my agent not to sell my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, I was excited to help people by giving it away for free.

But I didn’t want to fly by the seat of my pants for this one. I needed to do it right because this movement was so important to me.

My inadequacy came from needing the blanks of my knowledge filled in. That’s what most inadequacy means. People say they feel inadequate when they don’t feel good enough to do something. That feels lousy. When I was a DoorMat I had a lot of those kinds of feelings. Fortunately I learned, albeit the hard way, that you can go from feeling inadequate to being even more than adequate when you pinpoint EXACTLY what makes you feel that way and make an effort to fill in the blanks like I did.

You might feel inadequate at work if you’re not up to speed on computer functions or some other skill you lack. Fix it by taking a class or finding someone who can teach you one-on-one. Sometimes you can find a student who’d like to make a few bucks who’d come and show you step by step how to do it. Or you may feel inadequate because you don’t feel your appearance shines like the others you work with. I had that too years ago! I asked some friends to go shopping with me. I also got a good haircut and went to a store and let them show me how to do my makeup.

As I said, inadequacy usually comes form something you lack that can be rectified with a little effort. Write down exactly what made you feel inadequate, Make a whole list. Then, with objectivity, review your list and choose the easiest one to fix. Write that aspect down and the steps to get past it. Find your weaknesses and strengthen them! Then you can feel very adequate, which increases confidence. I feel super good now about what I’m doing and you can too!
***************

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean “no” or cut visits if ignored? Decide how

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks to achieving goals are the labels you put on yourself.

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” Having DMS (DoorMat Syndrome) made me a People Pleaser wh

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when they’re trying to manifest if something doesn’t work out

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.