Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

In my Law of Attraction in Action post on Hesitation I discussed how I hesitated to take The Self-Love Movement™ to the next level for two years. But when I found my coach, I knew I’d found the right one. At the first session, she asked why I thought I hadn’t gotten further along on my own. I told her that I felt inadequate. She was shocked that someone with all of my accomplishments could say that and insisted that I never use that word about myself again.

I disagreed, to some extent. I was inadequate–from a lack of knowledge. I was inadequate because I had no support system to get advice from. I know I’m smart and very adequate in general. But I was just lacking the know-how for doing something I’d never done before. I had no one to ask, “Is this written properly or what’s the best way to___?” The Self-Love Movement™ means a lot to me. After hating myself for many years and finally developing a strong sense of self-love, I wanted to give back. After telling my agent not to sell my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, I was excited to help people by giving it away for free.

But I didn’t want to fly by the seat of my pants for this one. I needed to do it right because this movement was so important to me.

My inadequacy came from needing the blanks of my knowledge filled in. That’s what most inadequacy means. People say they feel inadequate when they don’t feel good enough to do something. That feels lousy. When I was a DoorMat I had a lot of those kinds of feelings. Fortunately I learned, albeit the hard way, that you can go from feeling inadequate to being even more than adequate when you pinpoint EXACTLY what makes you feel that way and make an effort to fill in the blanks like I did.

You might feel inadequate at work if you’re not up to speed on computer functions or some other skill you lack. Fix it by taking a class or finding someone who can teach you one-on-one. Sometimes you can find a student who’d like to make a few bucks who’d come and show you step by step how to do it. Or you may feel inadequate because you don’t feel your appearance shines like the others you work with. I had that too years ago! I asked some friends to go shopping with me. I also got a good haircut and went to a store and let them show me how to do my makeup.

As I said, inadequacy usually comes form something you lack that can be rectified with a little effort. Write down exactly what made you feel inadequate, Make a whole list. Then, with objectivity, review your list and choose the easiest one to fix. Write that aspect down and the steps to get past it. Find your weaknesses and strengthen them! Then you can feel very adequate, which increases confidence. I feel super good now about what I’m doing and you can too!
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Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

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