Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


The 10 Commitments of Self-Love

With Self-Love Month (January) is approaching, I wanted to go into more details about The 10 Commitments of Self-Love that are posted on The Self-Love Movement™ site. These are principles you should begin to develop in yourself that will help your build self-love and nourish it once you have it. They’re listed on the home page of The Self-Love Movement™ site but I want to elaborate about what they mean and why each is so important. Once you understand and embrace these commitments, you’ll have a more self-loving approach to life.

The 10 Commitments of Self-Love

1. I shall lovingly accept myself as I am right now. This doesn’t mean you have to like everything about yourself. I love and accept my body as it is right now but would still like to drop a few pounds to feel healthier and have my clothes fit better. But self-love means accepting yourself right now, in your own imperfect skin! Then you can lovingly work on things you can change, like improving your health and fitness because that’s good for you. Waiting until you lose the weight or tone your body or make more money is NOT loving! You can love yourself at any weight, in any shape and with all your perceived imperfections! You love your friends and family with their imperfections, don’t you? Give yourself this loving gift!

2. I shall appreciate all the beauty that makes me who I am. Your uniqueness is beautiful. Your goodness as a person is beautiful. Your big heart is beautiful. Your caring about others is beautiful! Beauty begins within. Appreciate all the beautiful qualities you have that have nothing to do with your appearance. True beauty comes from the inside out. When you seek to do good, live with integrity, and practice charity and kindness, you radiate beauty. Even if you don’t see it, others do. So pay attention and appreciate all the beauty of your heart and soul!

3. I shall regularly give thanks for all of my blessings. Gratitude is very loving. The more you acknowledge all the blessings in your life, the more blessings you can attract. It also keeps you in a more positive frame of mind because it helps you remember how much good is in your life. It also keeps you from taking all the good stuff in your life for granted. Feeling good about your blessings warms you with love!

4. I shall trust in my ability to take care of myself. When you love yourself you can see you as your own best friend with your best interests at heart for you. And when you embrace a strong faithful belief system, it’s much easier to trust yourself because you also know that you’re supported. Focus on taking care of your health and fitness. Then you’ll feel better, which raises your confidence to help your life in other ways.

5. I shall not criticize myself. Is your inner dialogue harsh or kind? It’s common to be more critical of your imperfections than you’d be with a friend’s. You know it’s wrong to hurt someone you care about. Apply that to self! Treat yourself as you would a friend—use kind words and accept imperfections. Stop calling yourself names like fat or stupid. You reassure those you care about. Self-love means cutting yourself slack too! It means accepting that you’re human and humans aren’t perfect. Get into the habit of reassuring yourself instead of having negative self-talk! The more you fall in love with you, the less self-insults. The less you put yourself down, the more you’ll fall in love. It’s great synergy!

6. I shall not criticize others. If you don’t like being put down, break any habits you may have of assessing people’s faults. Picking on what’s wrong with someone is often done to make you feel better. Even if you do it behind the person’s back, it fosters negativity, which isn’t loving. Happy people tend not to put others down. Work on yourself! The more self-love you feel, the less likely you’ll be to want to pick others apart. It’s plain not nice, or loving. Find the good in people instead! That will make it easier to also find the good in you!

7. I shall forgive myself when I make a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up when you say or do the wrong thing. Accept that we all make mistakes and it’s okay. Find kind words to address the situations. If you break something it’s not the end of the world. It happens. You goofed and it will be okay! If you don’t give a perfect presentation, people won’t remember by tomorrow. You shouldn’t either. Forgive and move on. When you tell yourself whatever you did is okay, you’ll feel better about it, and you! That’s loving!

8. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs. There’s a big difference between being kind to people and being a people pleaser. The latter isn’t loving. You can help people when you can but always make sure that your needs are met first. Self-love requires setting boundaries on what you can give to others. It means doing favors selectively, to people you want to help because you care about them, not to buy approval. When you love yourself, self-approval is the main goal. It’s not loving to help people at your expense. Set boundaries but always have a kind attitude to other people. Helping others is a loving act but take care of you too!

9. I shall take responsibility for my life. Do you complain about how people treat you? Take responsibility by accepting that nobody can do what you won’t allow. Life is your choice. Stay at a job you hate or look for a new one. Stay with a romantic partner who doesn’t treat you well or leave. Taking responsibility for what goes on in your life gives you power to change what you don’t like. It  can set you free! Victims complain about what they don’t like. People who love themselves do something about it because they seek happy situations.

10. I shall love myself to the best of my ability. Do your best to be kind to yourself—every day! Saying “no” to what you don’t want is kind to you. So is eating healthy, walking, replacing negative self-talk with gentle words. View your whole self through a lens of love, not looking for your imperfections. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Say “I love me” often. Don’t let others treat you poorly. The kinder you are to yourself, the more your self-love will grow. Sign the pledge to commit to be kind to yourself for 31 days. It’s a loving way to stimulate good feeling for you!
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Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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