Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

The New Year is coming. Are you hoping to be more successful in 2013? I sure do! That’s why I’m delighted to have Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D.back as my guest today. Dr. Matt is President of The Empowerment Partnership, where he serves as a master trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a practical behavioral technology for helping people achieve their desired results in life. He has also immersed himself in Huna, the ancient practices of the Hawaiian islands of forgiveness, which he wrote about last time in Effective Forgiving, and meditation for mental health and well-being. He carries on the lineage of one of the last practicing kahuna.

In his new book, Find Your Purpose, Master Your Path, Dr. Matt melds the ancient wisdom of Huna with modern psychology to assist us in leading conscious, purpose-driven lives. He contributes regularly to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today blogs. Here’s some great advice for achieving success!

5 Principles for Success?By
by Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D

The most successful people create lives many people only dream of because they understand each of us has the power to transform our lives. They realize that we create our experience through our thoughts, words and actions, and take responsibility for the results they achieve.

So how do you transform your life to achieve your goals? Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a proven method used by many of the world’s most successful people in business, entertainment, communications and other occupations. NLP is a behavioral technology – a set of guiding principles, attitudes, and techniques – that empowers you to change and adapt, adopt or eliminate behaviors, and choose mental, emotional, and physical states that further positive outcomes. Here are five NLP principles to help you achieve your goals:

1.    Know your outcome: Have goals, a plan, and outcomes in mind from the start. This sounds so basic, but it is surprising how many people overlook this crucial step. If you were planting a garden, you would first choose what kinds of flowers and vegetables you wanted to end up with, then till and prepare the soil before planting. It is the same with any goal you want to achieve. Start with the end result you desire and plan all the steps necessary to achieve your goal.

2.    Take action consistent with the outcome you want to achieve: We all have a tendency to get caught up in actions that do not get us where we want to be. Perhaps you have a number of things to achieve in a day or two but you feel sidetracked by phone calls. One way to gauge how long to spend on a phone call is to ask yourself if this moves toward your desired outcome. Write a list of actions that move toward your outcome and another list of things to avoid, that typically get in the way of doing what you need to do. Then you can focus more of your time on getting that book written or those products sold.

3.    Develop sensory acuity: how you see, hear, taste, smell, and experience your world so you can determine when a shift has occurred. Most people favor one sense (sight, sound, touch) in how they learn about and experience the world. Work on developing the other senses. For instance, if you are primarily a visual learner, try developing your auditory acuity. If you tend to experience the world through sound or touch, practice honing your visual acuity. Pay attention to how you experience what is going on around you so you can constantly monitor your progress toward your desired outcome.

4.    Practice behavioral flexibility: As you are working to achieve a goal, whether it is to lose weight, start a successful business or make a million dollars, allow yourself the flexibility to be pulled toward your outcome. People tend to get stuck in the details of their work and often don’t take the time to step back and ask if there is an easier and better way to achieve the task at hand. Leaders are those who can step back and point the way to innovative ways of achieving results with greater ease and efficiency.

5.    Operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence: NLP recognizes that your thoughts affect your physiology and your physiology affects your thoughts. Your physiology affects your subconscious, so a shift in your physiology will show up in outcomes. Have you ever stopped to notice how successful people hold themselves physically, how they speak and how they shake hands and make eye contact? How they behave physically informs their outcomes, and their outcomes guide their physiology. For an exercise, imagine a goal you want to achieve, like getting a promotion or a new job. Think of the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells associated with achieving your outcome, and how you would respond physically. Then adopt that physiology as if you have already achieved your goal.

NLP teaches you how to do your best with all the resources you have, mentally and physically and provides concrete steps so your thoughts, words and actions move you toward your goals.

You can check out Dr. Matt’s  NLP Practitioner Certification training HERE.

Join The Self-Love Movement! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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