Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Often we need a catalyst to wake up to feeling at least a teeny bit worthy of loving ourselves. When I was a DoorMat, my first shred of self-worth began when my neighbor had a Mary Kay cosmetics party. I didn’t want to go, thinking what was the point? Makeup wouldn’t help me look better. I felt so low about my appearance because all I saw in the mirror was my extra pounds and bad hair. We often can’t see our good qualities when we focus only on what we see as our flaws.

Since I liked my neighbor I felt obligated to go to the. I was stunned when the rep, who I’ll can Lou, pulled me aside and asked if I’d be her model. I looked around to see who she was talking to. Couldn’t be me! But it was. I told her I wouldn’t be a good one and she disagreed, pointing out my great skin. She whispered that I was the prettiest woman in the room and loved my pretty green eyes. What pretty green eyes I wondered, still thinking she was mistaken. But she gave me a mirror and made me look carefully. Yeah I thought, I guess my eyes were nice. I’d never paid attention before.

So Lou demonstrated her makeup on me. I actually enjoyed having it put on and learning how to use it. And I was surprised at the response from the other women, who told me how good I looked. I wasn’t used to compliments from people other than family, who I believed said nice things out of obligation. Many of the women were strangers, and I could see in their eyes that they meant it. Of course I bought some makeup and wore it the next day to my job as a teacher andwas shocked by what I heard from the kids!

“You look prettier than usual!”

Kids can be harsh in their honesty so I was unprepared for their compliments. They didn’t say pretty, like the makeup made me not as ugly as I saw myself. They said prettiER. I asked if they thought I was pretty. They seemed surprised that I’d ask. Of course I was a pretty lady. Didn’t I know that? I didn’t answer as I processed tbat maybe I was wrong about how I viewed myself. Maybe I had some redeeming qualities. It was a real wake up for me!

From then on, I began to look at myself differently. I looked all over, not just at my extra pounds and bad hair. I eventually recognized that I did have beautiful green eyes. The makeup enhanced me but I had good qualities even without it. Going to the party was eye-opening! I began to write down what I refer to as my good details. You have them too! Going to the Mary Kay party opened my eyes to the good qualities about me that I never saw because I just focused on what I hated. That was the beginning of my foundation for strong self-love. Knowing the pain of not loving yourself was my motivation to launch The Self-Love Movement™. I want you to love yourself too!

Writing down all the good things about you helps you build self-appreciation, which eventually allows self-love to blossom. Try it! Write down ALL the wonderful things that make you who you are. Ask people who care about you for things to add. They will probably see many things you ignore because you’re too busy worrying about what you see as your imperfections. Read your list often to reinforce that you’re a valuable, worthy person who deserves lots of love! Then take my pledge to make a 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment to doing something loving for yourself for the first 31 days of 2013 and eventually your self-love will blossom too from the kindness you give to you!

Join The Self-Love Movement! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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