Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


What You Think You Can Achieve vs. What’s Possible

We’re all affected to some degree by things said about us in the past. My kindergarten teacher made fun of my artwork and told me I’d never be able to do art. It stayed with me well into adulthood as my truth. Girls are often told that math and science are fields that are more suited to boys. We get all these messages that affect what we think we’re capable of doing.

Most of the time those messages are wrong!! But we make them right by allowing these limiting beliefs to keep us from trying things we might be able to do. For example:

•    Doing poorly at math in school doesn’t mean you can’t help develop a budget at work. You might have avoided anything related to numbers all your life because of your early history with math but you might do well if you try now.

•    Seeing everyone in your family settle for mediocre jobs might make you feel you can’t rise above that level. But plenty of people overcome limits at home to rise to the top of their field. Nobody is you but you!

•    Like me, you might have believed you weren’t fit enough or attractive enough or smart enough to go after what you consider a good looking, successful person for romance. I settled for the level of guys I thought were “in my league” for many years. But when you build confidence, your attractiveness gets much stronger. It happened for me!

The main reason people settle for someone is because they believe they have to. You don’t have to! Most of the time your biggest roadblock is yourself. When I was a DoorMat I had a low opinion of myself and what I deserved. I wrote off men I found attractive, assuming they wouldn’t be interested in me. Since I didn’t think much of me back then, I also didn’t think I could accomplish much and never tried to go after career opportunities that interested me.

Oh how wrong I was!

As I began to love myself more, I also found more value in me. And I took more risks. I’ve since learned that I can do almost anything I choose to do, and so can YOU!  Start to think bigger and bolder about what you’re capable of. Don’t limit yourself based on the past. Always remember that you’re a different person now than you were years ago. I now date guys I’d never have dreamed would like me back in my DoorMat days, because I know I’m good enough.

I wouldn’t have the career I do  if I’d listened to all the people who said it was too late for me to reinvent myself when I finally left DoorMatville. Anything is possible until you decide it isn’t. YOU control your destiny, not naysayers or people who think they know best. I’ve proven many people wrong and will continue to do so. As long as you think you can, you have a good shot! so take advantage of the new beginning of fall and find out what you can really achieve by taking a step towards something you’d like to do.
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Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2012 HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Fatima

    Daylle, I’ve only just caught up with your posts this week, but I am so glad I did. A happy belated birthday to you…thank you for all that you do to help lift people’s spirits and encourage them to go for their dreams, no matter what those dreams might be, and regardless of the doubts and naysayers they might encounter. You are an inspiration, and I am so grateful to Beliefnet for introducing me to such wonderful sources of support and encouragement:) I hope you had a great birthday, and may you have many more to come!

  • http://www.magicquillink.com/blog Lisa

    One of the hardest things has been not giving into pressure of what someone else wants. Even if it was something I might want, being pressured makes it less of an attraction and more of a demand. I am already losing people when I say I need to take care of me, but I know it will work out for the best. When one door closes, another door opens…

  • Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad my writing has been helpful to you Fatima!

    Lisa–People who can’t accept you for taking care of what you want aren’t real friends. It’s a good way to weed your friendship garden. And you will meet more supportive people.

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