Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

You Can’t Do What?

I hear “I can’t…” way too often. You may see something you want to do or someone wants you to do and it looks hard or intimidating or your confidence isn’t high enough to tackle it so you write it off with “I can’t.” I stopped doing it when I realized that “I can’t” often means “I won’t.” While “I can’t” may legitimately apply to certain situations—you have a medical condition that prohibits it or you can’t be president because you weren’t born in the US or something of that nature—deciding that you can’t do something is usually a choice. You rule it out based on a limitation or fear that you have.

The people who get more of what they want and the most satisfaction are those who push through all the fears and doubts to at least try. I’ve gotten opportunities because of the people who were offered them first said “I can’t.” When we hear kids say they can’t do something, we encourage them to try. Yet we don’t have that same ethic for ourselves. We let stuff decide for us. Next time you decide you can’t do something, ask yourself why not? Write down the reasons. Are the all legit? I mean really legit! Talk to yourself as you would to a child and try.


If you need more motivation, check out this video of musician Mark Goffeney. He tours the world singing and playing guitar. While that might not seem special, you’ll see he was born with no arms. Mark plays the guitar with his feet. I can’t even play that well with my fingers, though I’ve tried!  Mark won’t let obstacles stop him. Watch this video the next time something seems too hard for you to do as motivation. Mark says, “I can!” YOU can too.


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Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.



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