Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Have You Learned Your Lessons?

Do you find yourself making the same mistakes, over and over? Or continuously ending up in the same situation that you don’t like? People tell me they feel jinxed when this happens to them. They look for what or who they can blame. I’ve even heard people say that they feel God is punishing them for something and don’t understand why:

•    They keep ending up dating the same kind of dysfunctional of people.
•    All the grunt work gets dumped on them at their jobs.
•    They’re always the ones who get pulled into doing volunteer work they don’t want to do.
•    They loan money and keep asking why people don’t pay them back.

And so on. If you keep attracting drama into your life, regretting things you’ve done, attracting people and things you don’t like and it doesn’t seem to change–AND–you are looking to blame someone, go to a mirror. YOU are responsible. This doesn’t mean you should be angry at yourself. Instead, look to see what you can do to change your patterns.


When things have the same outcomes, even if you don’t like them, and you’re lamenting that they don’t change, it means you haven’t learned the lesson that life is teaching you yet.

Instead of getting angry, each time, look for the lessons. What can you do differently? Why do you always get involved with the same kinds of people? Become aware of your patterns so you can stop yourself next time. That’s part of the lesson. Things don’t change themselves. Most people tend to be creatures of habit. Even if you’re not aware of it, you tend to continue in the same direction unless you become aware of what you do and consciously change it.

I used to like guys who were a bit insecure because it made me feel more secure. But their issues eventually caused problems. For years I lamented about the guys I ended up with. Why wasn’t I meeting stable guys? Why was each guy a clone of the last? It finally hit me that I was comfortable with those types and needed to stop attracting them. Part of my lesson was to make myself stronger. I worked on loving myself more and becoming a healthier person. When I met a cute guy, I paid attention. If I recognized the old qualities that later caused problems, I put the brakes on.


When you really want to change things, you learn. You often you don’t notice the lessons that are in your face if you’re not ready to learn them or aren’t ready to change. But when you are ready, and truly want to change, pay attention to what’s going on and how you make your decisions. Then be more alert about not making the same ones in the future. When you recognize the lessons and learn them well, great change can happen. With the new year approaching, pay attention so you can take the lessons and use them wisely in 2012. Self-improvement is a big act of self-love!

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Anastasia

    Thank you for this post. This reminder is just what I needed today!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Daylle Deanna Schwartz

    Glad to know that Anastasia!

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