Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


How Do I Love Me? Suggestions from Pros

Today is Day 12 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.

I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show themselves love, to give you more ideas that you can use for yourself. I’m delighted to have some wonderful suggestions to share with you. By pampering your mind, body and spirit, you can build strong self-love, which is a magnet for loving things and people into your world. Here’s what they had to say:

The number one thing I do to show self-love is make sure that I eat healthy no matter where I go and how much it costs. A long, long time ago, when I was a struggling actor/comedian/writer, I was only able to afford a pint of fried rice and an apple. Now, whenever I travel, I don’t care how much it costs, I will be sure to purchase the healthiest thing on the menu. Even if it’s at the airport. To me, it’s worth it. My health is the number one priority. If I’m healthy and I look after number one physically, mentally and nutritionally, the rest is easy.  Jim Dailakis, Actor/Writer/Comedian/Voiceover Artist

Just these past 6 years have I come to realize when you dream for someone else in return we end up healing your own wounds. By nurturing women and children in shelters and transforming their space I am loving myself by giving myself away. Terry Grahl, Enchanted Makeovers

I practice self-love by consciously minimizing my vices: non-caffeinated tea rather than coffee, one glass of wine as opposed to three, and no smoking!! I cut out MSG, fluoride, aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, gluten, and all the other poisons in food and drinks. organic only, even if it costs more. I exercise, even when i don’t want to.b. Kelley, editor-in-chief, Akashic Magazine

My husband and I started a children’s charity, Passion 4 K.I.D.S. (Kids In Desperate Situations) which we are very hands on with.  When I need to show myself love, I look outward instead of inward. I spend time with “our” kids that so desperately need attention, love, and just someone to care. I give out all the hugs, kisses, love and efforts to make their young lives better that I possibly can. I come back to my reality refreshed, renewed and refilled totally with the love they reciprocate to me – that’s why love is a circle. Linda Van Kessler, Founder, Passion 4 K.I.D.S.

I show myself self love *by taking the time to truly listen to my body and?what it needs. Right now, I am dealing with the loss of my father. He passed away on Thanksgiving. Some days I am fine, and other days, I feel so sad or tired. I have given myself permission to go with my feelings. If I am tired, I don’t beat myself up about not getting something done. If I feel sad, I let myself cry and rest. This has been a really wonderful showing of self-love this December. Diana Fletcher, Certified Life Coach and Speaker, The Stress Reducing Expert

I show myself love by not allowing other people to push my buttons and ?make me angry. By being more compassionate and less judgmental of them, ?I can be more at peace with who they are. I can still address the way ?they are acting (by setting boundaries or removing myself from it) but I ?am calm and firm. Being peaceful is the greatest way I can show love to ?myself. Janet Pfeiffer, motivational speaker and author of The Secret Side of Anger www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com

Something that I do to show my self-love is that I’ve instituted the “Shower Hug.” It’s just what it sounds like. Every now and then when I need some love, when I’m standing in shower under the soothing hot water, I wrap my arms around my back as far as I can reach and give my body a big hug of appreciation. I am saying thank you, honoring it for all the life that it has given me — supporting me through it all. I can literally feel any tension wash away and I become totally present in that moment, loving my body and my self for all that I am. Sheila Viers, Life Coach and Co-founder of Live Well 360.

I show myself love by taking a break to sit on the earth with nature. Sometimes I lay on the grass under a tree looking up at the sky through the branches. When possible I sit by a nearby waterfall in the woods – wow! The benefits are great: grounding with Earth, being with the stillness of nature, and connecting with my heart and soul! This is truly a self love activity. Alice McCall, Cellular Level Healing Consultant, www.wellnesswisdomhealing.com

Once in a while I will pay someone to do a job I don’t really enjoy doing- such as a major interior car detailing. With a busy schedule the last thing on my mind is to take time to clean my car but It really sets the tone for my day and my mood when I get into a clean, organized space versus a chaotic one. Therapy is the ultimate self love- Having a skilled professional third party to check in with on a weekly or bi weekly basis is really important to me- it gives me time to slow down and examine my feelings and actions, allowing me to be more self aware, effective at my own job, and fulfilled in my relationships. I use therapy as a tool for personal growth and “maintenance” instead of going only when there is a crisis in life. To me this is self love in many ways, including having an hour where the focus in on me from someone who is not involved in my life and is baring witness to my joys and pains. Carla Rosinski is a Professional Licensed Counselor practicing in Raleigh NC. WWW.RosinskiTherapy.com

I make myself a big pot of tea and watch an old Masterpiece Theatre mini-series. The dog usually curls up on the floor beneath my feet and snores, which adds a pinch of comedy, and I will often burn incense or an aromatherapeutic candle to add even more comfort. In the winter, I make sure the fire is lit…and viola! Self love all around! Ashley Karr, Wellness Coach http://www.ashleywellnesscoaching.com

A favorite thing I do for myself is to get away somewhere quiet and write in my journal. I love time alone, away from distractions and the noise of life. For me, writing is a healthy way to work through difficult times…and it’s cheaper than therapy! Beth Marshall, A Time To Heal

I used to hate myself and punish my body because I was not thin. Since then, I’ve learned to dump any form of exercise that’s about punishing myself for my size and engage in joyous and fun dance exercise classes. These classes help me feel beautiful, energized, sparkling and alive. I’ve enjoyed it so much, that I ultimately got certified to teach group fitness. Now I teach new groups of people of all ages, shapes, sizes and abilities to love their bodies and dance to their own groove. Jeanette DePatie, author of The Fat Chick Works Out!, Speaker, and Fat Fitness Guru www.thefatchick.com

I treat myself to an anti-aging facial.  I walk out feeling and looking younger. Inez Bracy, Author, Speaker, Coach, Radio & TV Personality

Try some of these tips to say “I love Me!” The better you feel from showing yourself love, the stronger your self-love will become!
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Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2011 HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



  • http://www.enchantedmakeovers.org Terry Grahl

    Thank you Deanna for sharing my tip. ox
    Terry Grahl
    Enchanted Makeovers

  • http://www.thoughtsbydiana.com Diana Fletcher

    I feel really good about having my suggestions included with all these other wonderful ones. I feel encouraged that women are really working on showing themselves love.This is so important. Before we can take care of anything else, we have to take care of ourselves.

  • Pingback: How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros 2012 - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

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