Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Joe Scott, and entrepreneur who started with a truck and a tool box to become a successful contractor and real estate developer. He believes that life would be a lot easier if people recognized there are really only three kinds of people in the world. He’s a contractor and real estate developer who has negotiated thousands of business deals involving corporate executives, homeowners, bankers, laborers and union officials. He has hired, and been hired by, people from all walks of life. It is from that experience that he draws his experience for his ideas in his book, The Joe Dial.

Are You a Giver or a Taker?
by Joe Scott

It’s been my experience in life and in business that people come in only three basic varieties. There are givers, takers and those who fall in the middle with qualities of both. These people represent different mixtures of positive and negative energies, and understanding how those energies work – both with others and within ourselves – can make our lives at work and at home a lot easier.

I’ve placed all the qualities that make up those energies into a simple, readable graphic tool – what I call The Joe Dial. It measures them and gives us a starting place to adjust our own lives accordingly. My definitions of the three kinds of people are reasonably detailed, but a simple overview of them includes:

Givers: These people are typically honest and sincere and have a driving concern for  the world and everyone in it. Givers feel a responsibility to treat everyone  with dignity and respect. They see it as their duty to leave the world in  better shape than they found it. The danger for people who are primarily  givers is that they tend to be easily taken advantage of by takers. The pure  giver often fails to assess a situation to ensure their best interests are  being protected. They don’t truly understand the taking mentality and do not  realize there is a whole class of people out there eager to take everything  givers are willing to give, and then some.

Takers: Keep in mind that taking in and of itself is not a bad thing. We must all  have a bit of taker in all of us if only to afford others the opportunity to  be givers. Moreover, takers are not necessarily bad people. They’ve simply  been raised to be takers by having been given too much as they were growing  up. For instance, a fourth generation welfare recipient has been given no  other model but taking. Pure takers entire orientation in life is one of  receiving, of trying to maximize the gain in every situation. A true taker  operates out of a position of fear, always assuming there won’t be enough to  go around, always strategizing so he gets his share and more.

Taker-Givers or T&Gs – These folks strike a balance between taking and  giving, and generally have a developed set of instincts about when to give and  when to take. As a rule, they don’t want to take advantage of anyone, nor do  they want to be taken advantage of by takers. Courtesy is both extended and  expected in return. Some key characteristics include:

•    They let you pay for lunch one day but insist on  paying the next time.
•    They are able to both lend help as well as ask  for help.
•    They listen and talk in roughly the same  measure.
•    They carry their weight on a team, but don’t  allow themselves to be used.
•    They’re not excessive with either lending or  borrowing.
•    They clean up their own messes.
In my estimation, about 70 percent of us fall into that T&G category to some extent or another, with the other 30 percent split evenly between givers and takers,” Scott added. “By recognizing these elements and trying to practice the principles of giving and taking in equal measure, you can revolutionize your own workspace no matter what position you may have. The positivity will ripple outward, changing not only yourself, but the people around you.
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Check out The Joe Dial.
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Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge –a pledge to start your year by doing something kind for yourself for the first 31 days of January–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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