Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Do Unto Yourself as You Do Unto Others

I was taught it’s nice to please people. And it is, as long as you don’t sacrifice your own needs to do it, as many of us do. Putting more into pleasing others than you do to please yourself is not being nice! It’s being a Doormat. Taking care of your needs is NOT selfish! It’s necessary to become a strong, empowered person. Giving more to others can dampen your spirits, even if the people you give to are happy. When I was a DoorMat I walked around with many negative emotions that are common in people pleasers:

•    Anger about feeling used or taken for granted.
•    Frustration over not having enough time or energy to get your own needs met.
•    Sadness that with all you do for others, you get little reciprocation when you need help.
•    Low about yourself for letting people take advantage of you.

When doing things for others makes you unhappy, it’s time to make some changes. The best one is to do things for you that make you happy, which builds self-love. When you please yourself more, you feel better. When you feel better, you have more to give others. When I was a DoorMat I often felt drained and my energy was low as I plodded along to help others. The more I gave myself, the stronger my self-love became. The stronger my self-love became, the brighter my spirit got.

While I do believe in what’s known as the golden rule–Do unto others as you would have others do unto you–I also believe you must Do unto yourself as you do unto others. We often forget about taking care of self in our efforts to take care of others. But each of us needs to come first in our own priority. It’s important to never forget that!

I was surprised when I realized that the more I loved and did good for me, the more I wanted to help others, just to be kind, not to buy acceptance. My ability to give was propelled by the good energy I felt from being kind to me. The more you please yourself, the better you feel. That’s the premise behind my 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge, a pledge to do something kind for yourself for the first 31 days of 2012. You only have one life. Live it with self-love! Love yourself, have lots of fun, and treat yourself with the same kindness you give to your best friend.

As you treat yourself with loving kindness, your energy will shift to a place where you can set boundaries on what you give based on what’s best for you, not the person who wants your favors. I give more these days than I ever did when I was a DoorMat, and it’s from my heart, not from a place of insecurity or a belief that everyone must like me. That kind of giving makes you feel good and enriches your life instead of depleting it. Love yourself enough to make you happy!

*********************

Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge –a pledge to start your year by doing something kind for yourself for the first 31 days of January–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



Previous Posts

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Can’t vs. Don’t Want To
We often use words incorrectly. You may say one thing and mean another, without even realizing it. Often it’s done unconsciously. But it’s important to be aware of excuses you make for not

posted 12:01:08pm Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Are You a Needy People Magnet?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did when I was a DoorMat. These needy folks would bring me down with their dem

posted 12:01:49pm Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.