Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

The holidays are coming. Winter is in the air. Soon there will be decorations going up. My neighborhood dresses up in wonderful ways, which takes the edge off of cold weather. But many people begin to feel down during this time if they feel alone. It can be hard to watch all the festivities if you feel on the outside of it all. Depression rises during the holiday season.

People feel down if they don’t have a lot of money to spend on gifts. The biggest feeling down trigger is not having a romantic partner to share the spirit of the season. Often people don’t have family nearby so there’s no one to celebrate with. That can lead to feeling unloved, and everyone needs love! I used to feel this way too during the holidays. Seeing a couple walking hand in hand made me cry. Not having a lot of plans made me feel lonely and unloved.

That changed dramatically when I fell in love with me.

It didn’t happen overnight. Building self-love was a slow process. But every little bit of kindness that I showed myself made me feel better and also motivated me to do more for me. I was blessed to figure out on my own that I needed to love myself in order to have a good, satisfying life. As we enter the holiday season, think about how you can love yourself more.

January is Self-Love Month. As the first month of the new year it’s a perfect time to begin to love yourself. My 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge has been signed by over 2,000 people. On December 1st the wording on the pledge will change to:

“I pledge to do my best to do something loving for myself,? however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2012.”

Signing this pledge and then actually taking the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge can dramatically change your life. It makes you more aware of the importance of being kind to yourself. It’s wonderful to be loving to all people, but we often leave ourselves out. I’m trying to change that dynamic. That keeps you in a better state of mind as the holidays get underway, whether you have loved ones to share them with or you’re on your own.

As a recovering DoorMat, I lived MANY years for other people. Everyone came ahead of me. Usually there was little to nothing left to fulfill my own needs and I accepted that as my reality. No more! Now I matter! Building self-love with kind gestures was the fuel that helped me leave DoorMatville. Every little thing you do for you is a brick for building self-love. Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge now and then sign it again in December to begin 2012 on a loving note. Listen to me explaining it in the video!


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Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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