Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Spinning Negatives into Positives

I was recently driving home with a friend from a location that’s normally a 45-minute drive. As we got to highway that was the final leg of my trip, traffic stopped. It felt like it took forever to reach what turned out to be a terrible accident. We were complaining about how long it would take to get home until we reached the scene of the accident. As I saw the crushed car and thought about what might have happened to its passengers, I turned to my friend and says, “We are so blessed that we were far enough back to not be part of this crash.” My friend was a bit surprised at my words but then agreed.

If you look for something good in a bad situation, you can find one and feel blessed instead of unhappy.

I talked about spinning your perception of situations in my post, What’s Your Story? We spin everything we experience to be positive or negative. When you’re in a negative mindset, how you see things usually gets the negative spin. The way you tend to spin becomes a habit. When I was a DoorMat, any time I saw even a hint of something not going the way I wanted I immediately began to complain, spinning it into a negative.


After leaving DoorMatville, I knew I wanted to be happy. I recognized that if I kept reinforcing my DoorMat status I’d never be free of it. So I began to look for the good in my life and focus on it. Whenever something went wrong, I’d look for and eventually find something good that came of it. I remember hearing from a friend who told me how grateful she was to get severe food poisoning on vacation. Even I was stymied by that one until she explained that had she not been too sick to travel, she’d have been on a plane that crashed.

Look for the good in whatever circumstances don’t go your way.

You might not see it easily but there’s always something to be grateful for in the midst of something negative. Like the song, “Look for the Silver Lining” says, there’s always something good if you look. A few days after my friend drove me home when we got stuck behind the accident, he called me from his car one night. He said that a flurry of ambulances and emergency vehicles were going by and he suspected he might be stuck in major traffic for a while. But instead of getting aggravated like he normally would, he put on his headset to pass the time chatting with friends and reminded himself how blessed he was that he missed being in the accident.


Get into the habit of always looking for a silver lining in whatever situations you’re in. It truly does make getting through them a lot easier and keeps your spirit positive. Keep the faith that everything happens for a reason and your life is good—as long as you choose to see it that way!

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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